Chapter 328: River your not the only one

River POV

"Baby I missed you. We all missed you River." He tries to pull my face to his but I pull away.

"Mommy!" Annie screams. Lucky pulls me from him. I stand and grab her. I lift her up and almost collapse but pickle grabs my arm and leads me to the bed to sit with her I never move my arms from around hers as I cry into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry baby. Mommy loves you so much baby bunny girl." I say kissing her all over her face.

"Auntie!" Hadley yells throwing her self in my arms. I pull her to my lap, the best I can as Annie wraps her legs around me. I kiss Hadley's little face and head.

"I missed you to my Had Had. I love you both so much. Girls I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I was sick, no that's not true. The truth is I am sick and I need to go away so I can get better."

"No mommy no don't leave." I kiss her and then Hadley.

"It will be sad but when I come back I will better. Annie when I get back we can talk about letting you try the dirt bike track on that new electric dirt bike that you're Nono got you." I look at the boys.

"Who told you?" Lucky says laughing.

"No one but when he called and asked I heard the guy in the background ask if his granddaughter wanted the helmet that matches the bike or if he to pick a different one." Denalii looks over at me and laughs lowly. Our eyes meet for a minute before I look away.

"Thank you thank you mommy it's so cute." She squeals. "It's pink and purple with black on it." She says kissing my face.

I look up and see Chailor and my eyes fill with tears.

"Girls kiss River and let's go get on your Pj's." Lincoln says. He whispers something to them and they scream and run to Annie's room.

"She's going to stay with us tonight." Lincoln says as he comes over and wraps his arms around me.

"Thank you I love you Lincoln." He kisses my head "I love you too shit head don't do that to me again." He kisses my forehead and goes out the door. I run and throw my self in Chailor's arms.

"Ooh sweet face." Chailor says stroking my hair. I cry in to her shoulder.

"Guys can you please give us a minute?" Chailor asks them. Pickle tries to lift my face to his but I can't. He kisses my head gently as he walks out closing the door behind him.

"I can't.. I'm disgusting and how can he want to touch me." I cry so hard Chailor moves me to the bed.

"He love you. He loves all of you. Sweetie you have them all wrapped around your finger. They don't see what you do, they only see you." She kisses my head.

Denalii looks at me different now and I think only Pickle loves me.Lucky doesn't love me and Denalii thinks I'm disgusting."

"Sweetie that's not true. Lucky loves you intensely you can see it in the way he looks at you, he might not have the words yet but he does. Denalii isn't looking at you definitely he's blaming his self for what happened, the attack. He thinks that everything that happened was because of him and he's ashamed. You all need time, a lot has happened and we all need to reset." I nod she kisses my cheek.

"Thank you for always being here for all my crazy." I say. She laughs and hugs me tight.

"I love you my sweet face girl."

"Chailor is there any news on Finn yet?" I cry.

"No sweetheart but we aren't giving up. I'm going to go start you a bath. You really like the new bath bombs I got you." I look at her.

"I helped the boys shop for supplies for you while you were... resting."

"Thank you for taking care of them for me and my daughter."

"I love my brothers too so it was no trouble and honestly Annie didn't need me, they do a amazing job with her on their own." I smile really proud of them.

"I'll be back."

I sit for a minute but I start getting caught up in thinking about things and I feel my whole mind switch. I get up and start grabbing some clothes. A knock makes me jump.

"Sweet face I'm almost done can you grab that?"

"Yes." I open it and it's Pickle. He smiles at me.

I reach up and touch his face. He leans in to my hand. He puts his hand over mine.

"I love you honey and I'm sorry. I'm broken and I need to get my self put back together. I just want to cry and sleep, I feel like I'm not in control of my mind or body anymore." Tears fall down my face as I press my body to his.

"I love you Kitten. We will figure this all out. I'll find you the best place I can." He kisses my head and I jump a little by the soft touch.

"I'm sorry." I say lowering my face to the floor.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about." He says.

"It's all ready Riv I made to hot for you." Chailor says kissing my cheek, I'm still in Pickle's arms not wanting to let him go just yet. She kisses his cheek and squeezes Lucky's hand as he's coming in she's walking out.

"Enchantress." I look at him and he winks at me making me blush. He comes around and wraps his arms around me from behind.

Lucky kisses my neck and I cringe. He pulls back slowly.

"Baby talk to us." Lucky says in my ear. I shake my head. I look around and Denalii never came back.

"Where's Denalii?" I ask. They look at each other then Pickle says "He's down stairs in his room my love. He'll be back up." I start crying again.

"River. Baby please don't cry, I'll go carry his ass up here." I shake my head.

"I'm going to take my bath now." Lucky spins me and smiles. He lifts my arms and pulls my shirt off quickly. I start to cry harder as I try to cover my self from his eyes. He reaches for me and I flinch and close my eyes. He lifts me and carries me to the bathroom.

"River open your eyes please baby." Lucky says as he puts me to my feet.

"I turned around and the door is closed. Pickle's going to check Denalii and we're going to talk." He says.

"I can't you wouldn't understand. You can't help me anymore then the rest of them. I can't...you can't understand how ugly and gross I feel." I drop crying.

"River, let's talk cause I'm the only one who really understands how it feels to be raped by your father." Lucky says kissing my head.