Chapter 258: I'm hurting too

Pickle POV

I sit on the waiting room couch trying to clear my head. I don't know what's going on with them but it's driving me crazy. I know they are friends and he needs her comfort right now but she, she should be comforted by me. I'm here too, I'm hurting too. I love him too. I drop my head to my hands, seeing him like that gutted me. Tears start filling my eyes as I remember the pain and terror on his face.

"I'm so sorry Finn I wish I could protect you too brother." I say out loud like a prayer.

I feel a hand at my back gently rubbing it. I don't have to look to know it's Flame. I turn and wrap my arms around her. She holds me while I cry. I cry for my brother, I cry for her and myself.

"I'm sorry love, please forgive me for not being strong enough." I say as I wipe my face with my sleeve.

"Oh my sweet sweet love. Even strong men need a break from being everyones rock." She says wiping my face with a tissue.

"Maybe you need a change for a few days. Maybe go see dad for his birthday and that sweet baby girl." She says as she kisses my forehead.

"It's her isn't it?" I ask already knowing the answer. I pieced it together from a memory years ago and after seeing them tonight it just clicked.

"What is her?" She asks.

"You've never lied to me before don't try and start now love." I say looking at her face.

"I would never lie to you intentionally Pickle but I'm not sure what you're asking." She says as she stands. I stand and look at her.

"When your brother was sixteen before he changed and decided to join the crew it was because the girl he loved was hurt. Was it her?" I ask as the tears and the anger return.

She just looks at me till the tears in her eyes fall.

"Yes. The girl he loves the girl he gave up all those years ago, yes River is that girl or was that girl." She's says letting her tears fall.

"How long? How long have you fucking known?" I ask not trying to hide my anger.

"Since the night Denalii was deployed early. The night before Finn left." She says. She reaches for me but I pull away.

"Pickle it wasn't my story to tell and she doesn't remember him. He kissed her at school and decided to give everything up for her the day she was attacked but he never got to tell her. He stayed by her side almost every minute of every day for five weeks. My father had to move him schools cause he refused to go there with all the memories of her." She says wiping off her face.

"I remember you being scared you were losing him and I remember how proud you were when he graduated from basic training. I remember it was a really hard time for all of you, it wasn't very long after your mom died I just assumed all his issues were because of that." I say as I sit back down trying to process.

She sits and takes my hand. "I never knew her name or what happened really just what he told me. I'm so sorry Pickle."

I shake my head. I need to leave,  I need time to think.

"Does she know now?" I ask her.

"No not that I know of. She still doesn't remember who he is." She says "He's afraid she's have a memory break if she finds out cause that's what the doctors told him all those years ago." She says squeezing my hand.

"He doesn't want to hurt her. I understand that. I'm going to leave, I'm going to go visit Pinky and my daughter. I'll call her later and tell her." I lift her hand and kiss the back of it "Go back to your bed with my brother. I'll be fine sweetheart I just need a minute."

I stand and head down the street to the hotel. I call Lucky on the way.

"Hey brother what's up?" As soon as I hear his voice I lose it. I start sobbing

"Pickle! Pickle what happened?" He asks "Pickle, take a breath fucker please your scaring the shit out of me!" He says.

"She watched it." I finally say as I sit down and lean against a building. "She watched it! She's in shock they sedated her earlier tonight and the only person she would go to was Nunzio." I try to take a deep breath tipping my face up looking at the dark sky.

"What the fuck! Who let her watch it?" He asks.

"Hold on bunny, daddy needs to talk to big daddy for a minute okay." He says in a sweet voice he only uses for her.

"Nobody let her, she stole Ryder's laptop and figured out the password." I say wiping my face.

"Okay so what are we doing brother?" He asks.

"Lucky it's too much. If they don't find him she'll never be the same. Her drinking is already off the hook. She won't survive losing him." I say crying again.

"I'm coming brother. Say hi to our daughter while I go ask Pinky and Maria if our bunny can stay here. I love you brother don't worry."

"Daddy!"

"Hi my munchkin. God kid I miss you."

"I miss you too daddy. Where's my mommy?" Annie asks.

"She's with her friend helping." I tell her.

"Okay daddy, I'll tell you about my day then. I went to the shop and Grandma Maria let me get what ever I wanted. It was the best day. We went swimming and then when we got back I seen a big lizard. Papa said that he's my pet but he has to live outside cause it's mean to take him from his home." I laugh at her little stories.

"Papa is right. You can take pictures of it with the camera mommy got you. What is his name?"

She laughs and says "Papa said I have to take my time cause he needs a really cool name." She says all excitedly.

"Papa is right again munchkin. I'm glad your having fun."

"Daddy" she says as she gets quiet.

"Yes baby." I say standing up.

"Can we come home soon or are me and daddy hiding again?" She says sounding so sad.

"Oh my sweet little Annie. No your not hiding my love. We will all be together soon there's just something we have to do to help mommy's friends okay." I hear her sniff a little. I talk to her for a while till she's laughing again. Just as I'm saying goodbye to her and getting ready to walk in the hotel Ryder comes racing out.

"They found one of them, he's badly burned. They also left another hand and a new video." He says.

"Annie baby tell daddy Its time. I love you baby girl." I hang up and start running to catch up to him.