Chapter 224: I've seen the scars

River POV

He kisses my head and leans in and whispers in my ear "He really is a good kid." He says kissing my cheek "He really was just trying to help you,  he was terrified princess. It was a bad one so cut him some slack. Don't forget to rub it in after your talk that our daughter whooped his ass!" He says laughing as he heads to the kitchen.

Pickle stops in front of me and I see Kraizen kinda keeping back a little, which is good cause I should talk to him.

"Kitten I love you." He kisses me softly caressing my cheek.

"I love you to honey. It wasn't your fault and yes I can see the guilt all over your face. Remember we don't blame anyone other then the monsters!" He kisses me again "Your getting too good at this reading me bullshit." He kisses my head and heads to the kitchen.

I look at Kraizen, he looks awful. I would bet he didn't sleep much after what happened.

I walk over to him and take his hand and bring him to my room with me.

I shut the door a little but not all the way. I know how quickly those two get heated and overreact, we don't need more drama today.

I give him a hug. He pulls me in tight against him, not in a romantic way more like he just needs the comfort and warmth from me.

We just hug for a few minutes then he sighs and pulls away.

"Come sit with me." I say sitting and patting the spot on the bed next to me. He sits and I take his hand.

"First off I'm so sorry. I haven't had one that bad in like six months or so. It can get bad when I'm stuck in the darkness." He looks at me and I take a deep breath. I reach up and put my hand on his cheek "Thank you for trying to help me. I'm kind of remembering what happened. I don't know if you know my story?" I look at him and he shakes his head.

"I've seen the scars at the gym but I figured if you wanted me to know you would tell me."

I smile "People around there are really good at keeping other people's stories to their selfs. They do a lot of groups and other things where they need trust when they share their stories with each other. I don't share my story a lot cause I don't like to think about it but my therapist says that just gives my monsters more power and the more I share the more their power on me fades. She's even convinced me to join in a few of the support groups at the clubhouse."

He nods squeezing my hand. I take a breath and stand in front of him my back to him and I pull up my shirt so he can see all the burn scars and scarred bite marks.

I feel his hand on my back, his fingers lightly touching the scars.

"My dad abused me for as long as I can remember. Used me as a punching bag and ashtray mostly." I take a deep breath and pull down my shirt "My chest, stomach and legs all look the same." I turn and he hugs me. I pull away and sit on the bed.

He sits next to me. I look down at my feet "When I was fifteen I came home from school and was told that my father sold me to pay off his gambling debt. I was brutally raped for hours, he left bites all over my body from my feet to my neck. I was left with near fatal injuries and was in a coma for five weeks." I take a few deep breaths, I can hear his ragged breaths next to me. "I lost a lot of time from before the attack. I can't remember the full attack but I get flashes of what I can remember, and once in a while my fucked up head will throw out some new ones."

"River, my god. Wow, I don't even know what to say other then your a amazing person." I look up at him. He looks at me "What I mean is I've meet a lot of people with pasts not even close to the hell you lived through that use it as crutch or excuse to do shity things. Your different I never would have though you came from something like that. You always have a smile on your face and I've never even seen you raise your voice to your little girl."

"Thank you. Keeping that smile on my face is sometimes a lot harder then it looks." I say looking at him. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer.

"River I want you to trust me and I really want to be your friend but I still have to talk to you and Lucky. I'm going to tell you a little bit about me that I've never said out loud before to anyone and later when we talk I want you to remember me telling you my sob story now isn't in anyway a excuse for my part in that. I'll own up to my part." He looks at me and I'm kind of confused but I guess after our talk later this will make since.

"I just want a chance to explain my part in full before you decide anything." He says looking really scared again.

"Kraizen I promise to you my friend that I will hear you out when the time comes."

He hugs me tight "Thank you River" he says softly.

"My story starts in Hawaii and brings me here. My dad was very abusive and my mom is a drug addict. I learned at a young age how to get what I needed to care for myself by relying on my looks. Then around fourteen I started using my body to get what I needed. I got a lot of attention from my moms new boyfriends and her druggie friends even more after my dad died in a bar fight." He stops for a minute, I take his hand squeezing it gently.

"Then I was introduced to friends of theirs and so on and so on. Then I got moved out here to be a side piece for this pretty rich woman who kept me hooked up  very well with anything I could ever want. Then one day she got bored with me."

"She introduced me to a guy who kinda owns me now and he has turned out to be the worst mistake of my whole shit life." He takes a few deep breaths. "All I've ever wanted was just to be wanted for me not for my body."

"At first he wasn't bad. He introduced me to a lot of people and I was free to keep what was mine but It was short lived and now I'm in the shit so deep I'm scared I'll never get out."