Chapter 219: It's our turn to take care of you now

River POV

"I love you too River Smith-Spencer so much more then I can ever express." He says hugging me tighter against his sobbing chest.

I lay him down and I move around him holding him tight. I lightly play with his hair as his breathing becomes more even.

I hear a quiet knock so I look up and see Lucky coming in. He climbs behind him wrapping his arms tight around him. He reaches over and caresses my face "I'll stay in here with him tonight. I made you a bed in the living room." I quickly shake my head.

"Enchantress Carter's going to give him a shot of something strong to help him sleep and I don't want you to get hurt if he has a nightmare. You know how bad it would hurt him if something happened to you again." He says softly, I start crying as I sit up.

Pickle jumps when I pull my arms away moving myself to the side of the bed.

"Kitten?" He says, looking back at Lucky noticing extra arms on him.

Lucky moves his arms and gets up "I'll check on Carter's ETA and I'll be back."

I kiss Pickle's lips soft "My love, Carter's going to give you something strong to help you sleep and then in the morning we will go drop you off at the facility." He shakes his head "I don't want to hurt you." He say as his eyes tear up.

I touch his face as I kiss his head.

"Lucky will stay in here with you tonight to make sure you don't hurt yourself or open any wounds if you have a nightmare. Ryder is getting everything ready for you to get checked in. I will make sure your packed with what you need." I reach out and caress his cheek.

"Is Lucky going to stay here with you while I'm gone?" He says not looking at me. I notice now that his hands and body are trembling. I grab the blanket off my chair and wrap it around his shoulders.

"You didn't take your pain pill, damn it honey!" I call Carter really quick.

"Can I give him a pain pill before that shot?" I ask Carter when he answers.

"No,  I'll take care of him when I get there, I'm five minutes out sweetie. I'll see you in a minute."

"Okay thank Carter"  I say hanging up.

I rub his non injured side on his shoulder and back. I realize I never answered his question.

I grab his hand.

"Pickle. I will feel safer with Lucky here with me but he can stay in Finn's room if you want and I promise you I will respect your wishes and stop everything sexual with Lucky. I do want to ask you if he can hold me at least the first day your gone? I'm not sure if I can sleep without one of you with me. Everything else will be at a PG13 level. I love you and I hate for you to think I could ever replace you." He finally looks at me as I begin to to choke up. He reaches out and wipes a tear from my eye.

"Ohh Kitten. I'm so sorry."

"Pickle please don't say sorry. Look at me please." I say moving his head back up "Nothing that has happened is anything you should feel sorry about." I kiss him soft but deep.

"He can hold you because I trust you. Him not so much but I know how safe it makes you feel with one of us here next to you."

I hug and kiss him as we both cry just holding each other tightly.

I don't know what I going to do without him. He needs this though. Ryder talked to me about a week after he was shot and told me they think he's slipping a little. He has a bad history of depression that they have been worried about. They have noticed the signs, I don't know the signs so they just told me to let them know if he's acting different or has a lot of nightmares.

I hear a soft knock "Come in." I say assuming it's Lucky or Carter.

It's Carter. "Hi sweetie" he says kissing my head.

"Hi brother. Don't worry it's our turn to take care of you now." He says kissing Pickle's head.

"Sweetie tell him goodnight, then I'm going to have you climb in and get comfortable and I'll get you feeling good brother."

I wrap my arms around his waist as he stands.

He kisses my head and holds me to him with his arm. He whispers in my ear "I love you River Smith-Spencer." He says kissing my lips.

"I love you too Pickle. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ever. Call for me if you need me." I kiss and hug him as tight and hard as I can without hurting him.

"I'm going to the bathroom first." He says heading out.

As soon as he's out of the room I lose it. As hard as I tried to hold it in I just couldn't do it anymore.

"Ohhhh sweetheart." Carter says pulling me to him.

"I'm sorry, I tried!" I say crying.

"You did better then I thought you would." He says laughing.

I look at him and laugh as Pickle walks in. I turn away wipeing my tears quickly.

I take his hand and lead him to the bed. He gets in and I move the pillows to help get his now unslinged arm comfortable.

"Thanks my love." He says caressing my cheek.

I kiss him "I love you Honey, sweet dreams."

"River will you be okay?" He asks with tears in his eyes.

"Ohh my love, don't worry about me. Just get feeling better. I will be fine my love." I kiss him again.

He caresses my cheek and smiles at me as Carter gives him the shot. I hold his hand to my smileing face until his eyes grow heavy and shut.

I sob out a little kissing his cheek "Goodnight Honey, I love you."  I turn and Lucky opens his arms. I run to him letting him wrap his arms around me. He kisses my head "Here." He hands me a joint and a lighter. I smile at him, he kisses my nose quickly.

"Go smoke, there's also a shot for you on the bar. I made your bed and the kids are out there waiting for you. Let them help you, they need it as much as you do." He says, I nod at him.

"Lucky will you please come get me if he needs anything?"

"Of course my enchantress" he smiles and leans down "I'll be careful of his arm to." He says. I start crying.

He reaches for me and I shake my head. "Thank you Lucky. Goodnight."

"I'm staying in case he needs anything so don't worry. Crash is setting up the other beds so why I wait I'll come smoke with you." Carter says squeezing my shoulder on his way out. I turn and look at Pickle one more time.