Chapter 182: I'm not scared and this isn't about me

Lucky POV

I lay here watching her on video chat for a while. I have it propped up next to me, I can hear her breathing, she's breathing deeper then I've ever heard her. She's at peace finally. She looks so beautiful and of course I miss her, I miss my brother's too this is the longest we've been away from each other.

I know Annie misses her too, she asks me everyday when she can go see mommy and daddy Pickle. I sigh deeply as I reach over and grab my other phone and call Brain.

"Hello" he answers sleepily. I forgot it's only 230 in the morning. If anyone knows what's going on with Pickle it's him.

"Sorry it's so early. Have you heard from Pickle?  River hasn't heard from him in two days." I say trying to hide the panic in my voice.

"What?!" I can hear him getting in his chair, he's breathing heavily trying to hurry.

"Lucky this isn't good" He says. I can hear him typing on his keyboard.

"I told River that your father is dead" I say softly knowing he'll be pissed.

"What! Why?!" He yells.

"What do you mean why? She's scared. She called me scared, she's afraid he's coming for her. She's been afraid this whole time! You fuckers said you were going to tell her!" I yell at him.

"I never even thought about it, she's never said anything. Damn it of course she's still scared he will come for her, I'm a fucking idiot. Is she okay?" He asks. I hear the worry in his voice.

"Yes she fell asleep quickly after I told her. She just wanted to make sure he suffered. She looked so happy when I told her that he did."

"Lucky, thank you for finally answering her and what the hell is Pickle doing a job on his own without one of us?" He says worried. I can hear him clicking away on his computer.

"I don't know brother! I know he was worried about money but I haven't even talked to him either." I'm a shit brother but I need to be separated from them for a while.

"Hey Brain have you noticed if she's been drinking a lot more lately?" I ask.

"No I haven't noticed but I'm still giving her space. I will keep a eye out brother but you can't just cut everyone out. It's time to come home, I get it you're scared of some of the feelings you have."

"I'm not scared and this isn't about me! Fuck just find Pickle already!" I say louder then I mean to. "She needs him home with her! She needs Pickle and they don't need me in the way."

"You know I can multitask and quit changing the subject. I'm already following his and Gio's trail."

"Okay good he wasn't alone at least. Where's this job at?"

"It's in New Mexico. I sent Marco a message, he said his nephew is with them as well. It's his first job out he just turned eighteen." He say with even more worry in his voice.

"Maybe I should go find them! Fuck!." I say getting up and pacing. "One of us should have been with him!." I say throwing my self on my bed. This is all on me, I divided us. River is right we're stronger together.

"Stay put for a minute, let me do my job and stop being a pussy and let my sister love you. Loves amazing brother you should try it." He hangs up before I can say anything else. Fuck you Ryder!

I'm not being a pussy! It's not safe for her to love me. I don't even think she could love me. Who would? I'm trash, always have been probably always will be. Good people like her don't fall in love with people like me. Love is nothing but pain and torment anyway, I learned that early on in life.

I fall asleep thinking about her and how worried she looked. How sad she looked as she begged me to come home. Maybe I should just trust her and my three best friends to help me keep Annie safe. I fall asleep quickly with her beautiful face burned in my head.

I jump when I hear my phone ringing. I hurry and answer it "Did you find him?" I ask urgently when I see Brain number show up.

"Yes, Lucky I did but it's not good. It was a set up from the start. The Mufasio family took them."

I sit straight up wide awake now "Ryder, is he alive? What the fuck happened?" I can hear him clicking away at his keyboard and his uneven heavy breath.

"I don't know Lucky, I lost them." He says with worry in his voice. "Lucky we have to find him!"

"Does Mr. Nunzio know yet?" I ask.

"He will in about five seconds" he says typing away.

"Get me a car and a flight now, oh and I'll need to make a pit stop first. Call Marco tell him to be ready." I say ending the call, grabbing the two bags we have and throwing what I can in them.

"Daddy" I turn when I hear her little voice "Goodmorning my little Bunny." I pick her up and kiss her head. "Go get some toys and books you want to keep we're going on a new adventure." I say smiling at her trying not to show her how scared I am inside.

"Yayy! Can we call mommy?" She asks looking at me with those big blue eyes.

River POV

Owww Fuck my head hurts. I sit up slowly and grab the water bottle on my nightstand and chug it.

I hurry and pop some headache stuff that Carter gives the guy's after a match. I pick up my phone, I look at the time it's ten. Wow I slept for 7 hours in a row! That's definitely a record.

Wonder if it's from the alcohol or knowing that my monster is dead and I'm free. I fucking won. He's dead, I have my brother back and I'm loved by two damn near perfect men. My father is dead and I'm finally free! I feel freaking great!

No new messages or calls. It was nice talking to Lucky finally.

"Oh shit!!" I yell out. I hurry and dial Lucky's number. No answer. Shit come on and answer dammit. I try six times and no answer. I tried video chat four times.

"FUCK!!" I scream. I didn't get to talk to her. My Annie. I start crying and screaming. Now he can't or won't answer!

What if it's another month before he answers again? I try Pickle. I cry harder when it goes to voice mail. I call Lucky again and get his voice mail so I listen this time "You know who it is leave me a message." I sniff and leave him a message "I'm so sorry please answer. I slept too long. I need her please I'm sorry." I sob out begging him pleading for him to answer.