Chapter 12: Unknown Male The Brain
Unknown Male POV
The Brain
I wake up in a cold sweat breathing heavy after having the same dream I've had since I was 12 years old.
My dream starts the same as it always does.
It's dark and cold and I can't breath well.
My eyes are burning like they have sand in them. I can't keep them open.
My back hurts with unbelievable pain and It feels like warm liquid is being dumped all over me.
I cant move or feel my legs and my whole body is tingling.
I start to panic. Unable to move. I'm not sure where I'm at. Then I remember what happened earlier that night and I start to panic again as I realize where I'm at. I remember what happened now and I have to fight to get out. I have to fight for them. I'm in so much pain but I keep moving my arms pulling myself up till I see a thin sliver of light as I start to dig my way out of the hole I'm buried in. He tried to kill me, he killed them and buried them. I'm all alone now. I can't give up maybe they're still alive too. I have to get to them before it's too late.
I wake up gasping for air as my eyes fill with tears. My body's still shaking and I'm covered in sweat. I wasn't strong enough to save them but I'm stronger now and I'm never letting anyone I love get hurt again.
Even though I'm a strong tough man of 23 now and I'm far from that same scared 12 year old little boy.
The nightmares I still have seem to gut me always bringing me to a crying shaking heapping mess.
My girlfriend Flame jumps as she slowly turns towards me. When she sees my face she quickly jumps up and runs and grabs me a glass of water.
She understands nightmares and she's always quick to help get me back in the right state or mind.
"Are you ok?" She asks, I see the worry in her beautiful chocolate colored eyes as she puts the glass on the nightstand by me. She's the most beautiful person I've ever seen and I knew the minute I first saw her that she is it for me. One day when we're both ready I'll make her my wife. She's perfect in every way.
"I am now" I say as I pull her in to my lap and gentlely kiss her forehead while I sweep her beautifully long black hair out of her face with my free hand.
She understands nightmares. She has a traumatic past of her own. We are stronger together. Together we can beat our pasts and build our future together.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks with a soft smile.
"It's been a minute since you've had a nightmare" she says as she moves my longer cut light brown hair out of my eyes and kisses my lips softly.
I take in a deep breath "I know it has. This one was one of the bad ones" I take a deep breath putting my head on her shoulder "I know I can't change the past but it still hurts when I can't get to them"
She pulls my head up and kisses my lips "I know baby, I know. I love you." She kisses my face wiping my tears away.
"I think that it's because she would have turned 18 this month" I say as the tears in my eyes threatened to fall again.
The dreams always hit me hardest when it's around my mom or my sister's birthdays. I miss them everyday but it hurts more on these days.
They are even worse on the anniversary of what happened to us on that horrible night. The night that monster changed me forever.
Flame instantly pulls me into a tight loving hug as she holds me, she says "We can go down later to the church and light a candle for her, if you'd like" she smiles at me knowing my hurt and my guilt.
"I would actually love that, I haven't been for awhile" I say. She's so amazing and I honestly think I would be dead by now if it wasn't for her. Even my brothers couldn't save me but she did with just one look she changed my life forever.
I think of the small Church on the outskirts of town that I've grown to love since she first took me there last year. She told me the story of how coming there changed her life and made her understand that we don't have to suffer for our pasts. That we can get stronger by proving our tormentors wrong and by letting our anger for them go.
"My father will be busy all day so we can actually go together this time" she says with excitement in her voice. Her father don't aprove of her dating anyone and now with her brother deployed he keeps better tabs on her so it's harder to hide our relationship. Her and her brother are super close and she's hurting without him here. I know she's trying to hide the worry and sadness she feels but I see it her eyes, it's been months since she's been able to talk to her brother.
I've done everything I can these last few months to bring her what little happness I could. I hate seeing her in pain. She's been so sad since her brother announced that he would leaving to join the Military so he can join the Special Forces.
This is the first time they've been apart this long. I know how close they are and he is her rock, he's the one who keeps her grounded. She has deep depression and PTSD he keeps her from spiraling down into the darkness.
Now that he's been gone on assignment for 14 months she's been spending every second possible by my side.
As I stare at her beautiful olive face I know that I have found my forever and it breaks my heart that her and my sister will never meet her.
"Okay, let's get up and have some breakfast and I'll even show you some new code before we head out"
She laughs and says " I thought you said you were done teaching me anymore because you couldn't have me be a better hacker than you" she laughs again, kissing me before she gets up heading to get my wheelchair
Laughing i say " Well I guess if somebody's going to be better than me, it might as well be somebody as beautiful as you"
"Besides you can't be amazing at everything you do, leave something for the rest of us" I laugh
I grab her and pull her back down to me kissing her with all the love and passion I feel for her everyday.
"I love you Cervello" she says
She laughs a small laugh as she starts to straddle me "I guess breakfast will have to wait," she says as she pulls me in for a deeper kiss.