Chapter 81 Hope
I couldn't believe it! He has no idea he's given me the one thing I've lived without for so long. Hope. Hope that life won't always be pain and desperation. Hope that we can have a real happy life. Hope in a real happily ever after.
I admire the new ring sparkling on my finger. It's beautiful! Rick told me he got it to match my necklace, and God! That was the sweetest thing he could've said. He has no idea how much that means to me. He knows me so well, and I didn't even realize it!
My whole growing up I thought he knew nothing about me, but it turns out I was wrong. He was a lot more observant that I thought he had been. Like how much I adore my necklace, even when I keep it hidden most of the time.
I'm getting married! And not to the bastard who cheated on me, or pressed me for sex... There was so much wrong about the arrangement I had with James. I hadn't cared about it much, because it was the best plan I had. I needed to get away from my aunt and uncle so I was willing to put up with anything just to leave! I had no idea how much pressure I was putting on myself until Rick lifted it from my shoulders!
Rick feels so much more... real, if that makes any sense. James just felt so fake, and I didn't even realize until Rick showed me. Even when I wanted to hate him when I was younger, I can't deny I was attracted to him. I kept finding him, even if I wanted nothing to do with him... But then again, he didn't exactly make it hard to find him. He turned up everywhere... And I guess I know why now.
And now that he's grown, he really has changed so much. For one thing he isn't putting me down or even listening to his father. He's standing up for me against his own family! He's treating me like I matter to him. He's showing me that I really am worthy of him. And each action draws me to him. Makes me fall just a little bit more for him. I'm still cautious about my feelings, considering how I grew up and ended up with Beth it's understandable. Things get pulled away from me so easily. Still... I'm trying to be optimistic.
James never did that. James never did a lot of things. He was always looking for the cheap or fast way to do something. I should've known it would never work out with him. At the time I met him, I thought he was a God send, but now looking back, I really should've just ignored his advances. They have been nothing but problems.
This morning after Rick asked me to marry him and actually put the ring on my finger, he whisked me away to a restaurant I haven't been to since my parents died. It was my favorite place and Rick knew it!
“How do you feel, little dancer?” He asked me so gently. He wasn't looking at the fancy decorations or checking out the waitresses like James always did. He was focused on me!
“I feel like... I’m finally someone worth wanting.” I admitted, and for the first time, I really did feel like I was worth wanting. After years of being mediocre, I felt like a bright star my parents saw when I was up on stage. My countenance matched the shine of my beautiful ring.
"Baby, you've always been worth wanting. I don't understand why the hell my dad kept me away from you. But that is something I regret," he told me, still admiring the way my ring looked on my finger. "Even as I was hurting you, it killed me to watch you cry. I wanted to kiss it better, but my parents told me it was better this way... And I was stupid enough to believe them."
"What happens when they find out?" I asked quietly. I saw the fight he had with his dad in the flower shop. Rick told me about his argument with his mother too. I was shocked Rose had complained about us, asking if I was really worth it.
"I don't really give a shit. I don't need them. Dad and Mom are living off my money right now," Rick shrugged. "They need me more than I need them," he huffed in annoyance. I can see how that would be frustrating for him... Not that he doesn't have the money. He's a multi-millionaire, after all. And all of it is his money.