Chapter 79 Honestly
"Baby, you have no idea how badly I need you," I murmur against her sweet lips. But this is not enough. If we were at home and not in the middle of a public sidewalk I'd have her naked by now. I don't even need to be inside her. I need my lips on her skin.
I can't get enough of her lips. This is what I've been missing my whole life. I'm amazed at how well we fit together. I reach down and squeeze her ass, and she surprises me by jumping and wrapping her lean legs around me, like she can't stand the distance between us either.
I pull back from her mouth, kissing along her jaw and down her delicate neck and until I reach her pulse point and suck hard on the warm flesh, before making my way back up to her abused lips and taking them all over again.
She moans into my mouth and I pull her tighter. I can feel the heat of her pressed up against my shaft and I want nothing more than to join our bodies this very moment. I'm aching for her. And I know this is all my fault. I could've had her years ago if I hadn't been an idiot.
I can't stop thinking about all the wasted years I could've been holding her. Our first encounter that ensured I would push her away from me. “You are not good enough to be friends with me,” I sneered at the young Josie. I saw the way she looked hurt, but she put up a brave face and pretended it didn't hurt her. So I had to change tactics and flirted with her sister.
I'd spent years torturing her because I wasn't allowed to have her. I spent so many years wasting time, sticking my dick in pussy after pussy, wishing it was Josie. But none of it was the high I'd been chasing. I tried drugs to forget about my little dancer, but whatever I was looking for just wasn't there. It was all useless, so I gave it up.
The day Josie turned 16, her parents died. I wasn't allowed to go and see her. I was pissed as hell. I heard about the accident, but Dad had been acting weird. He didn't seem to be upset at all that his friend had just died. I wanted to go see Josie. I wanted to tell her I was sorry she lost her parents. But I couldn't. By the end of the week we had packed up our belongings and left to Arizona.
But I still couldn't get Josie Turner off my mind. For years, I did what I could to forget her. To push the guilt to the back of my mind, trying to tell myself it was for the best. Dad was right. Her parents had died, so we wouldn't have anything to keep us together anymore. And still she lived in my head. Still I burned to be near her, and I was sure I'd never see her again.
And the day I walked into the small flower shop to order flowers I used to buy so I could push the regrets into the past, and I fell right into my little dancer, just like it was Fate. The second I saw her I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me. I thought it was some kind of cruel joke. But there she was. I saw the freckles and soft hazel eyes... But that wasn't all. I saw her necklace her parents had presented her the night I first met her.
That afternoon had changed my whole life. The second I realized it was really her, I felt like I'd found a piece of myself I'd thought I'd lost. My little dancer had come back to me... Or I guess I'd come back home to her. And now that I'd found her again, there was nothing standing in my way of getting what I have always wanted.
I didn't bother going to see Julia, but I bought the bouquet because it gave me an excuse to be near Josie. I was teasing her.
“Little Dancer,” I whispered so only she could hear me.
“How... uh... did you? I mean... Did you just call me little dancer?" She was absolutely adorable when she was tongue tied. And the fact she knew she recognized me but couldn't remember...
“You were very graceful dancing around the stage on your toes. You shined so bright, Josie.” I finally confessed the words I'd been hiding for years.