Chapter 69 What Could've Been
I watched as Rick left the store after his fight with his father. He was absolutely seething. He gave me a hug, trying to reign in his own emotions. I could feel he was trying to comfort me as well. I wonder what he's going to do now?
Will he really listen to Dean? Will he take back his offer to marry me? Is he thinking over what his father told him and find me wanting? He didn't really say anything that made me think he was changing his mind... "I will be back soon little dancer. And I will keep coming back until you admit you are mine... And then I’m going to keep you,” he promised me.
I'm keeping that close to my heart. I need some sort of hope to hold on to. I'm not ready to lose everything yet... Not yet!
I turn to my boss, and try to blink away my tears, but she sees them anyway, and the look on her face is pained. She also looks furious, but not at me. And I'm pretty sure she's not mad at Rick. But she looked like she was ready to burn Dean Kingston at the stake.
"I've gotta go, Hailey," I choked out. "I... I can't stay tonight," I try to keep the trembling out of my lips, but fail miserably.
"Of course you do, sweetheart. You go home and rest, and I'll see you in the morning," she whispered, giving me a reassuring hug. I really needed that hug. Someday I wonder if she's an actual angel.
Then I grabbed my purse and headed out into the cold evening. It's dark now, and only the flickering street lamps give light to the night. Cars pass by slowly. I swear I can see a few flakes slowly drifting on the night air... I should probably hurry home before the storm hits, but I can't bring myself to face anyone right now.
Not when I can't stop thinking of Dean's words. His words hit harder than I expected them to. After all, he means shit to me. He can go to hell, and I'm sure he will. There is no place in Heaven for assholes like him. He won't be with my parents.
"She is just a fucking gold-digger... stuck with her bitch of an aunt and lazy uncle! What the hell were you planning on doing anyway? Settling down for a piece of trash like her? When you’ve got your strippers all begging for your dick," he sneered at me like I was scum... He really should take a look in the mirror every once in a while.
When I asked him what he wanted, he said he was there to keep his son from making a mistake. Is that really what I am? A mistake? Just some cosmic joke?
I have no idea why I'm so damn depressed right now. Why do I feel like I would be better off dead right now? Is the pressure just getting to me? If I died right now I could go see my parents. I wouldn't have the responsibility of taking care of my sisters. I wouldn't have to face James' cheating. I wouldn't have to deal with Dean trying to shove whores in Rick's face just to keep him away from me.
I know these dark thoughts sure as hell have nothing to do with Dean fucking Kingston or his stupid opinions of me. From what I know he's a washed up rock star who thinks he's God's gift to women... He's not.
"She has always been a nothing! Why the hell do you think I kept you away from her?” he snarled at me. That's what Rick said. He was trying to keep him away from me, but I still don't understand any of it... I suppose it has to do with those damn contracts. Rick didn't explain them to me very well... I need more information. But contract or not, he was trying to make his son hate me... And I guess he did for a long time.
Rick knows the truth now, and that's all that matters to me... Right? That Rick still wants me, even with all this bullshit his dad was spewing at me?
I can't forget about his lips on mine, filling me with desire I'd never felt before. He seems just as desperate for my lips as I am for his... But is that all I am to him? Could I ever be more than that?
“I could’ve been happy, dammit! I never would’ve touched the damn drugs! Never touched another girl, because she’s the own I wanted, and you fucking knew it!” He shouted at Dean, who had been glaring at the both of us.