Chapter 39 She Didn’t Respond With Words
Lia
We started that night.
Kai took me to a private training room deep in the pack house, far from curious eyes. The space was large and empty except for training mats and weapons lining the walls.
"First lesson," Kai said, circling me slowly. "Your wolf is not separate from you. She's not some entity you control. She is you. The truest, most primal version of yourself."
"Then why does it feel like something foreign inside me?"
"Because you've spent nineteen years denying she exists. Suppressing every instinct, every urge that didn't fit into your human world." He stopped in front of me. "But she's always been there, Lia. Waiting. And now she's tired of waiting."
As if in response to his words, something stirred inside me. Not painful, but present. Watching. Listening.
"Close your eyes," Kai instructed.
I did.
"Now, focus on what you feel. Not your thoughts, your feelings. Raw. Unfiltered."
I tried, but my mind kept jumping, to the council meeting tonight, to the traitor, to the dead patrol wolves.
"Stop thinking," Kai said, his voice dropping lower. "Feel."
His hand touched my waist, and heat flooded through me. The bond pulsed between us, and suddenly I could feel everything, his heartbeat matching mine, his wolf pressing against the surface, the desire coiling in his gut.
My eyes snapped open. "I felt…"
"My wolf," he finished. "Good. That's the bond. Now, go deeper. Find yours."
He moved behind me, his chest against my back, his arms bracketing me. "She's right there, love. Just beneath the surface. Call her."
I closed my eyes again, this time focusing on the restlessness I'd felt for days. The hunger. The need to run and hunt and claim.
And there she was.
Not foreign. Not separate. Just... me. The part of me I'd been taught to hide, to suppress, to pretend didn't exist.
She was rage and hunger and fierce protective love. She was the part of me that had survived Kai's cruelty, that had stood up to Seraphina, that had refused to die when poison tried to claim me.
Hello, I thought.
She didn't respond with words. But I felt her satisfaction. Her approval.
Finally, she seemed to say. Finally, you see me.
"I feel her," I whispered.
Kai's arms tightened around me. "Good. Now, let her out. Just a little. Let her surface."
"How?"
"Stop fighting her. Stop trying to be civilized and controlled and human. Just... let go."
I did.
The world exploded into sensation.
Every smell became sharper, Kai's musk, the leather from the training mats, old sweat, metal, earth. Every sound magnified, his breathing, the rustle of fabric, heartbeats from rooms away. And the hunger... god, the hunger roared through me like wildfire.
I spun in Kai's arms, and my eyes must have changed because he smiled, proud and possessive and hungry himself.
"There she is," he murmured. "There's my wolf."
Something primal surged through me. Before I could think, I was kissing him, hard, desperate, claiming. My hands fisted in his shirt, tearing fabric in my urgency to get closer.
Kai groaned, his control snapping as he kissed me back just as fiercely. His hands gripped my hips, lifting me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, needing to feel every inch of him.
"Lia," he growled against my mouth. "If we don't stop…"
"Don't stop," I demanded, my voice rougher than usual. "I need you. Now."
His eyes flashed gold. "Your wolf is talking."
"I'm talking," I corrected. "My wolf and I want the same thing. You."
That was all the permission he needed.
He carried me to the training mat, laying me down and covering my body with his. Our clothes disappeared in a frenzy of tearing fabric and desperate hands. When he finally pushed inside me, we both groaned, the sensation heightened by the bond, by my emerging wolf, by the raw need pulsing between us.
"Mine," he growled, his canines elongated.
"Yours," I gasped. "Always yours."
He set a punishing pace, each thrust driving deeper, harder. My nails raked down his back, drawing blood, and he hissed in pleasure-pain before biting my shoulder, not to mark, but to claim, to remind me who I belonged to.
The bond sang between us, pleasure building higher and higher until I shattered, screaming his name. He followed moments later, his roar purely animalistic as he came deep inside me.
We collapsed together, breathing hard, our bodies slick with sweat.
"That," Kai said after a moment, "was your wolf."
I laughed breathlessly. "Is training always like this?"
"With you? Probably." He rolled onto his side, pulling me against him. "But you did well. You let her surface without losing control. That's the first step."
"What's the next step?"
"Learning to shift parts of you before attempting a full transformation. Claws first, then teeth, then…"
A knock on the door interrupted him.
"Alpha," a guard called. "The council is assembled. They're waiting."
Kai swore under his breath. "We'll continue this later." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Stay close to me during the meeting. And whatever happens, don't let your wolf surface in front of them. Not yet."
"Why not?"
"Because right now, they think you're just a human who got lucky. Let them keep thinking that." His smile turned predatory. "Until we're ready to show them exactly what you are."
The council chamber was tense when we entered.
All twelve council members sat at the long table, elders, warriors, advisors. Seraphina stood against the wall, her expression unreadable. And Elder Miriam sat at the head, her eyes sharp as they tracked our entrance.
"Alpha," she acknowledged. "Luna. We're glad to see you recovered."
"Barely," I said, letting some of my anger show. "Someone tried to kill me. Again. And this time, they murdered three of our own patrol wolves in the process."
Uncomfortable silence fell.
"We're investigating," one of the council members said, Marcus, I thought his name was. "But with no witnesses, no evidence…"
"There's evidence," Kai cut in coldly. "Nightshade gas doesn't appear out of nowhere. Someone with access to the stores. Someone with knowledge of patrol routes. Someone in this room."