Chapter 128 128

Chapter 128 128
“I was eavesdropping,” she admits in a slow, halting voice. “I went to find out where you were. Kolya said you might be up in your room. But when I couldn’t find you, I came back down and… and heard them arguing. So I stayed behind the door and I listened.”

“What did you hear?” I ask.

She shudders. “Everything you told me, and more,” she says. “A-Adrian… he really was trafficking women. He’s a liar, June. A monster and a liar.”

I take a deep breath. “I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m not, I guess. Not really. I was just… hopeful. I wanted to believe.”

I stop talking. I don’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry…” Geneva whimpers. “I wish I could—take it all back.”

“I know,” I say with a broken sigh. “I know. It’s okay.” I stroke her cheek. “You should get cleaned up. Get some rest. There are plenty of beds upstairs. Just pick one and try to breathe.”

I say it with such an air of confidence that I take myself by surprise. You’d almost think that this was my house, my world. Beneath my blouse, I feel my engagement ring resting cool and delicate against my skin.

“Go on,” I encourage. “Everything is going to be okay.”

I wonder if she thinks that sounds as bullshit as I do. If so, she makes no sign of it. She gets to her feet and I watch her slink towards the staircase. When she’s gone, I stand, too. The smell of the blood is starting to make my stomach twist.

I walk out of the blue room to find a cluster of men standing near the main entrance. Knox is one of them. When he sees me, he comes forward immediately.

“Milana’s undergoing surgery in the medical wing as we speak,” he explains. “We’re just waiting for the doctor to give us an update.”

I stare at the throng of men waiting around, and I realize that this isn’t a vulture’s vigil. They’re here because they care about her.

I fight back tears and give him a curt nod. “Where is Kolya?”

“He disappeared into his office a few minutes before you got here.”

I head straight to his office, finding it odd that Kolya is there and not waiting outside the room that Sara is using as an operating theater. I don’t bother knocking. He doesn’t so much as flinch when I make my entrance.

He’s sitting in his massive wingback chair facing the windows, though the dark velvet curtains are drawn tight. I walk around his desk, grab the edge of the wingback, and swivel it to make him face me.

There’s a spark of something when he sees me, but it’s snuffed out as soon as it appears.

“Kolya,” I say softly. I can smell alcohol on him. His fingers twitch as though he wants to reach for me, but he doesn’t. “What are you doing here? We should be waiting outside the operating room. Sara—”

“Sara knows where to find me when she has news.” His voice is dead inside.

“Kolya—”

“I threw her past in her face, June.” He’s flush with disappointment, spilling over with hatred, a black hole of self-loathing. “I called her… I called her a…”

I sink to my knees in front of him and cup his hands in mine. “People have fights, Kolya,” I say. “Whatever you said to her, I’m sure—

“I told her I didn’t want advice from a whore.”

I flinch. “Y-you were clearly upset.”

“It should be me splayed open on that operating table. Not her.”

Just the image those words conjure has my entire body stricken with fear and dread. The idea of losing Kolya…It cuts down my emotions and leaves me raw and exposed.

I’m the one splayed open. We all are, in our own way.

“Were you at Geneva’s apartment earlier today?” I ask quietly.

He just nods.

I don’t even have the capacity to be surprised anymore. “So you heard what he said?”

“Most of it.”

“And… you didn’t bust in there?” I ask in disbelief.

“I wanted to,” he admits. “I wanted to so fucking badly.”

“So what stopped you?”

He meets my eyes. “You did.”

I recoil in surprise. “I did?”

“If I had walked in there, I would have put a bullet in the motherfucker, just like I did with my father. And then you would have had to live with that memory the rest of your life, like I do. You made me swear I wouldn’t hurt him. So I didn’t.”

I put both my hands on his knees and draw him closer. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “For putting you in that position. For holding out hope when I should have just accepted the truth of who Adrian is.”

His eyebrows come together. “You believe me now?”

I shake my head. “I always believed you, Kolya. I was confused for a while there, but deep down, I believed you. I just didn’t want to believe the worst in Adrian.”

“No,” he says soberly. “Neither did I. For a long time.” Then he winds his fingers around my wrist and pulls me up onto his lap.

I settle there, melting into his embrace, feeling calmer than I’ve felt in what seems like forever. Of course, guilt courses through on the heels of that realization. Milana is fighting for her life just a few rooms away. I shouldn’t be cuddling against Kolya and pretending life is going to be alright.

My hand curls around Kolya’s neck and I lean into his broody silence. “She’ll be okay.”

It’s a stupid thing to say. I have no idea about the extent of her injuries, but he needs comfort. He’d never admit as much in a million years, but he does.

Kolya tilts his face up to mine. “I’m not so sure.” He starts tracing circles on my exposed thigh. “He got her in the chest.”

My hands tremble a little. “She’s strong.”

“No one is invincible.”

Again, I feel that desperate sense of relief. At least he’s here. He’s alive and well and breathing. Smelling of vanilla and gin.

“I know why he chose me,” I admit.

I’m trying to distract him, but I’m also trying to clear the traffic in my head. He raises his eyebrows. “Why?”

“I filled the hole you left in his life,” I explain. “You made excuses for him your entire life. You took care of him, protected him, told him it was all going to be okay. And then he left the Bratva and tried to do life on his own. Except it wasn’t what he expected. Then he met me, and I… made those same excuses for him. I took care of him, protected him, told him it was all going to be okay.” I rest the side of my forehead against the side of his. “He chose me because he loved you.”

I lean in and press my lips to his temple. I’m not trying to remind him of anything. I just want him to know that he’s not alone in this.

He doesn’t ever have to be alone again.