Chapter 12

AJ had been pacing in his room. He had discarded the clothes he’d worn earlier on and was just left with his black flannel pants. He was waiting for Katherine. He wasn’t going to allow her to make a fool out of him any longer. She had to decide, she was either going to be with him or Lyle. He heard the front door open and for a second, he thought about confronting her in the living room.

But he stopped, his fingers inches away from his doorknob. If he went to her feeling emotional, letting her see how hard she had crushed him, it would only leave him vulnerable to her. He didn’t know whether or not that was a good or bad thing.

Instead, AJ leaned on the door and listened as she went about the living room and made her way into her bedroom. When he heard her door click shut, he walked toward his balcony. He stood, basking in the warmth of the moon, forcing his mind to shut down.

AJ had barely relinquished all thoughts of Katherine when he heard his door open. He heard the hesitant steps, the labored breathing, and a sniffle. He groaned inside. She was crying again. How was he supposed to keep his cool façade in the face of her tears? He refused to turn around and meet her fragile state. He forced himself to remain a statue, the moon locking his gaze, keeping him from turning to her.

“AJ.” Her feeble voice called.

AJ could feel his stone heart chipping, bit by bit. He didn’t answer. Instead, he inhaled the night air. His eyes closed as his hands trembled at his sides, itching to hold her.

“AJ, please, I’m sorry.”

He still didn’t answer.

“AJ, make love to me.”

That had his whole body responding. He turned toward her but didn’t trust himself to move. She was dressed in his flannel shirt. It draped over her like a robe, stopping inches beneath her knees. It seemed to swallow her, and that’s just how he wanted to possess her. He itched to have her creamy short legs wrap themselves around his waist. His heartbeat thunderously in his chest, as his cock throbbed with need. He took a step forward but then retreated. How could he? Touching her would only bring him an enormous amount of pain.

“Make love to me.”

“How?” The question was asked in earnest.

“What do you mean?” Katherine took a step toward him, but he held up his hand to her, stopping her.

“I was so proud of you, of us, knowing that I was the only man who had ever touched you. I was the only man who had kissed you and filled you with so much passion that you gave yourself to me.” AJ didn’t expect the rage that filled him just then. It was like a blur. One second, he was trying to stay away from her and the next, he had crushed her body to his. “I was the only man who had ever been inside you, the only one who had watched you climax over and over again. Those sighs of satisfaction were mine; the moans filled with lust belonged to me. How am I supposed to make love to you when you let another man touch what mine was?”

His fist knocked his head a couple of times. “The image of him on top of you is ingrained in here. How am I supposed to make love to you knowing that you fucked him just last night?”

“We didn’t have sex.”

“He was on top of you!”

“You saw.”

“Rose made sure of it.” AJ released her and she fell back on the bed, her eyes fixed on a spot in the carpet. He knew that she couldn’t look at him. He suspected Katherine knew he knew about her and Lyle. But she didn’t think that he had seen it. “I can’t touch you again, not like that. I can’t. I just….”

“I disgust you,” Katherine mumbled.

AJ dropped to his knees in front of her. “Never. You could never disgust me. But I just can’t be with you that way, not after Lyle—”

“Defiled me.” He saw the rage brewing behind the gray waves in her eyes. “I touched you, knowing that you had screwed half of New York.”

AJ stood up and retreated into a corner. She would never, could never understand how he felt. “I’m not strong enough, Katherine.”

“Strong enough for what? All I wanted you to do— If you had—”

“If I had loved you, you wouldn’t have slept with Lyle?” AJ asked. “I was beginning to fall in love with you.”

“But now you can’t.”

“I don’t think it would hurt this much if I didn’t have feelings for you. But you wanted to be ‘roommates with benefits.”

“I don’t want that anymore. I want to be with you. We can start over. Just you and me, exclusive. No Rose, no Lyle.” She sounded so hopeful, but AJ knew hope was a crippling emotion and so was love.

“You still have to work with Lyle. Could you handle that?”

“Yes, I’m willing to try. I want us to work out.”

AJ had never been in this position before. But he had to concede one fact, she risked being with him even after knowing what sort of a Lothario he was. They weren’t exclusive at the time of her indiscretion with Lyle. Maybe he could forgive her, but he could never forget. Would that ruin it for them?

“I think you should move out.” She started to speak but he cut her off. “We should date like normal couples. If we live together, I don’t think it could work out. We need our space, and I can’t keep seeing you walking around in nothing but my shirts.” He afforded her a smile as a peace offering.

“We won’t make love?”

“Not yet.”

“Will we kiss at least?”

“Of course.”

“You’ll hold my hand?”

“Yes.” AJ stepped forward and took her hand in his. “We can do all the things those crazy teenagers do. But we won’t be intimate just yet.”

Katherine sighed and looked out his balcony doors. “I never realized you had a balcony.”

“Well, when you were here, I had you busy with something else.” He grinned, as he lightly stroked her cheek.

When they got back to the hospital, they both made an effort to behave like a normal couple. They had lunch dates at the cafeteria in between surgery and trauma. They saved the stolen kisses for abandoned hospital corners, but they never risked going into an on-call room alone. Every time they kissed, held hands, and exchanged longing gazes, it was a promise of more, of something better and greater. But while he had his desires and emotions under control, Katherine’s spilled out of her. She was like a teenager at school around her first crush. AJ never knew Katherine could be so clumsy. She couldn’t seem to stop falling over herself and crashing into people and walls as she paced backward away from him. He twirled his finger, instructing her to turn around and walk with her eyes forward. That way, he hoped she would bump into less people. He chuckled as her cheeks slowly blushed.

Maybe, somehow, he would be able to forget that image of Katherine and Lyle and replace it with the rosy blush that lit up his face. He chuckled once more when she bumped into an orderly. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he said. “Turn around.”

Katherine gave him thumbs up and turned around, walking around the corner and out of his sight. AJ laughed, but his fun was interrupted by what he knew was a fleshy breast rubbing up against him. AJ thanked God Katherine hadn’t seen the seductive show the nurse was putting up for him. He couldn’t even remember his name, let alone remember if he had slept with her before. He ignored her, but that didn’t stop her from rubbing up against him like a cat on heat.

Dear God, he was so pissed off about Katherine with Lyle—the bruise to his ego and the final nail in the coffin that held his hate for the man—he didn’t think of how she felt. It couldn’t be comfortable for her to be working, interacting with and depending on the help of the women he’d had affairs with. He needed to forgive her and hopefully she would forgive him for putting her in such an awkward position.

“AJ,” the horny cat meowed seductively.

“Not today, babe, not ever.” AJ looked away from her pout with disgust. How the hell did he bed all these desperate women without being disgusted with himself. “I’m taken.” He registered the shock on her face. AJ knew that by the end of shift every single nurse would soon find out of his relationship status. Hopefully, Katherine wouldn’t suffer because of his new chastity belt. AJ walked away and immediately a crowd formed around the nurses’ station. He chanced another look over his shoulder and Rose’s hate-filled smoldering glare froze him in place. A woman scorned.

“Great!” he muttered under his breath.

* * * *

Katherine tip toed around Lyle, only allowing him close when they were in a crowd of people. She knew Adrian wasn’t lurking about trying to catch her in the act. But she couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. She wasn’t going to mess this up. She took out her phone and pondered for a while before finally texting Adrian. She wasn’t sure about what she was allowed to do in the new parameters of their relationship. So, she hoped texting and asking about his day was all right.

Not bad. What about your babe?

Katherine wanted to do a back flip. But instead, she did a happy dance where she stood. He called her babe, just like he used to before this nightmare with Lyle started. She thought of texting something bolder, but she was scared. She willed herself to be brazen. After all, would man land on the moon if they were afraid, they would be killed by tiny green aliens?

I miss you.

Me too Kitty Kat.

The response came instantly so she didn’t check the caller ID when her phone rang. “I guess you missed the sound of my voice.”

“Well, dear, I am your mother. And I do miss you terribly.”

It her mother’s southern drawl that echoed from the phone and not the timbre of AJ’s voice. “Oh hallo, Mother.”

“I assume you didn’t know it was me calling. Anyway, that doesn’t matter. You have to come to dinner tonight. It is of the utmost importance,” she said in her high society tone. Sometimes Katherine wondered if the woman was real at all.

“Not to me, Mother. I have plans.” She did. She was going to ask AJ on a date. She was going to take him out to dinner, make an effort on jump starting their new fresh relationship.

“Cancel them. Your brother, Christian, has come up with the most idiotic idea ever. He’s going to join the army. A gentle soul like his will be killed in his first hour.”

“Don’t say that. Really, Mother, the things you say. Wait. Did you say Christian is joining the army?” Fear for her brother’s well-being gripped her. But it didn’t compare to the feeling of loss for her only normal sibling. With him gone, she would be the only normal Henry child in New York.

“Yes, so you must come. We are going to try and dissuade him from this cockamamie idea,” she snorted.

“I’ll be there, Mother.”

“Where is that?” Katherine turned to find AJ grinning down at her.

“I’ll see you tonight, Mother.” Katherine hung up her phone and smiled back at AJ. She tried to calm the wild beat of her heart before she spoke. AJ always had a way of getting her tongue tied. It was worse now because of the eggshells she was trying not to step on. “My mother is holding a dinner party for us.”

“A party?”

“By party I mean, a lunch not so different from the one your mother holds. The difference is we have to get dolled up before we are fed. Then we sit in this awkward silence listening to Father and Duke grunt about business. Christopher usually manages to sneak in something inappropriate,” she rambled on. “But it wouldn’t be met by the same humor as it is at your dinner table. Then it would be left to Christian and me, the only normal children of Caroline and Harold Henry, to make the mood lighter.”

“I think I’d rather go for a colonoscopy.”

“Can I join you?”

It was then that it hit her. Did AJ expect to come to the dinner? Duke and her father would chew him up and spit him out even before he got to take his seat at the table. How was she going to tell him he couldn’t come without setting their relationship ten paces back? “Did you…did you want to come?”

“Was I supposed to?” AJ asked in genuine surprise. It seemed the thought of joining her had never occurred to him. “I thought we were taking this slowly. I get you’ve already met my parents, but either way, Reno wanted to meet up with me tonight. If I had known about the dinner and if—”

“And if I hadn’t cheated on you, you would have come,” Katherine mumbled to herself. She looked up and met AJ’s disapproving glare. “It’s okay. I just found out about the dinner. Maybe we could go out tomorrow night?”

He smiled and she knew she had saved the situation. “Sure. I will make sure my schedule is cleared for you.”

“Thanks.” Katherine and AJ stared at each other for a while. Now what? Take a risk. The command came to her mind before she had the chance to process it. Her body took action, getting on her tip toes she kissed AJ’s cheek. She took a couple of steps back, her gaze locked on the whole time.

“Coming through!”

Katherine jumped away just in time as a gurney came rushing down the hallway. “I’ll see you at home. And about that, I am looking for alternative accommodations.”

AJ nodded and smiled at her the whole time, not saying a word.

* * * *

Katherine looked at her watch for the umpteenth time. She was expecting time to slow down for her. Already her mother had called her three times to confirm the dinner and to give her time checks. The last time she called, she made sure to point out that she was late. Katherine looked up when she felt like her skin was crawling. She looked around wondering what gave her that awkward feeling. When she turned her head to the left, she met half a dozen glares directed her way. Katherine frowned at them, but they didn’t falter.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Her stomach did a flip when she heard the timbre of AJ’s voice vibrate through her. “Hi…hi.” What the hell was wrong with her voice? “What’s wrong with them?”

“Well.” AJ’s hands wrapped around her waist, and he turned her body to face his. Katherine watched; her hands held up as if in surrender. “Someone might have told them, that the greatest stud in this hospital—”

“Just this hospital?” she teased.

“Well, I’d like to say New York—”

“But you haven’t bedded the whole of New York yet.” Katherine immediately regretted what she said. Her eyes shifted to his chest, unwilling to see desire leave his eyes to be replaced by anger. But AJ shocked her by nuzzling her neck. His hot breath scorched her skin, as he planted kisses along her neck.

“I don’t have to. I have the prettiest girl in New York in my arms.” AJ looked at her and smiled. “Anyway, I was saying, they’ve found out that the greatest stud in New York is taken. He has finally found the girl he is willing to be chained to. They’re not very happy about it.”

“I bet they aren’t.” She rose to her tip toes and kissed his. Speaking against his lips she said. “You’re lucky I’m fond of you and that ego of yours.”

“Good thing I have the skill to back it up.”

AJ lifted her off her feet and was about to kiss her when her phone rang. “Arrgggh! It’s my mother. I need to go.”

“Are you getting a cab?”

“I don’t have a car. You know that.”

AJ reached into his pocket and retrieved the keys to his car. Katherine immediately thought about what Reno said about AJ and his Range Rover. “Take mine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I trust you.”

My God. Katherine felt like her knees would give and she would crumble to the floor. She didn’t think she would ever hear those words. To Katherine, at the moment, those words meant more to her than if he had told her, he loved her. She took the keys and kissed him before running out the hospital doors.