Chapter 11

“I remember when I found Michael with Lisette. I almost killed him.” AJ replayed the conversation he had with Reno in his mind. He didn’t know why that particular part echoed in his mind. It might have been because Lyle had just stepped in his line of sight. It was like the roach could tell AJ was watching him. He looked up, shot him a sly grin and a wink for good measure. AJ felt his feet move before his mind could comprehend his next move. His fists were itching to connect with Lyle’s grin. Maybe he would kill him, see if he would flash him that same grin when he was on ice in the morgue.

But his anger, rage and hate were misplaced. It was Katherine who had allowed Lyle to have sex with her. However, it was AJ who hadn’t made the parameters of their relationship clear to her. He had been so busy having sex with her, trying to be the best in his field and avoiding the other women in the hospital that he hadn’t been paying enough attention to what really mattered. That he was in love with her, that he wanted to be her one and only. But now he wasn’t. Katherine had always been haunted by his past women, and now he had Lyle to haunt him for the rest of his life. So, AJ was mad at Katherine and at Lyle—but he was livid with himself.

“Dr. Ross.”

AJ turned toward the voice with a growl. But his rage quickly flew when he saw the chief of staff standing before him. “I hope you are not planning on beating up Dr. Lyle again. Anyway, there is a medical program that just came across my desk. It’s a ‘Doctors Without Borders’ kind of thing. I think you’ll be well suited for it. I also think the timing couldn’t be more appropriate.”

AJ noticed the chief looking past him, and when he turned, Lyle was playing with Katherine’s ponytail. Immediately the memory of her lying on his bed, asleep, but sobs still racking her body filled his mind. He wouldn’t forget how the moon light bounced off her golden hair and shone on her tear-streaked face. He had curled up next to her, holding her until he heard her sigh and fall into deeper sleep. Her body had latched onto his. Even in sleep she had somehow known he would be there for her. It had pained him to put her back in her own bed. That was why he couldn’t wrap his mind around her betrayal.

“Sign me up.” He ground the words out through clenched teeth. He needed time away. This hospital was haunted with the memories of his past and a future he didn’t think he would be able to have anymore. But the two things he couldn’t bear to look at was Lyle’s grin of triumph and the guilty tears that shone in Katherine’s eyes. He needed time away, alone, to just keep busy. Flying off to a different continent to do the profession he loved sounded like a great idea.

“But you haven’t looked at the program yet. You don’t know where you are going or for how long.”

“Do you want me to pretend I care where and when you’ll send me? I can’t do that. It could be for eternity in a hell hole.” He tossed a glance over his shoulder. “As long as I’m away from here, I don’t give a damn.” What he failed to say was that his heart was breaking every second he shared the same air as Katherine. His rage rocked through him like an infuriated cobra, when he saw Lyle and knew he couldn’t beat the crap out of him. He needed to leave. AJ marched off in fury.

* * * *

AJ knew. Katherine could feel it in her gut. Sure, he had made her breakfast, given her a ride to work and hadn’t once brought up Lyle. It was the unusual silence blanketing them that told her he knew. The glances he directed her way tore through her. They were filled with hurt and questions. Questions she didn’t think she could answer herself.

“We need to talk,” Katherine told Lyle as she waved off his hands from her hair once again.

“Sure, my pet,” he drawled.

“Don’t call me that. We can talk after work.”

“We’ll go out for drinks.”

“No.” But then, Katherine didn’t think hashing it out in the hospital was a good idea. Maybe talking somewhere else, somewhere AJ couldn’t see them was better. Later on, that evening she was determined to confess to AJ. “Fine.”

Katherine turned around just in time to see AJ’s retreating back. His spine was stiff, his shoulders rigid as he stormed through a herd of nurses who had gathered around him. She could tell he was angry—he didn’t stop to flash a smile at his fan base.

Katherine twiddled her thumbs on her lap. Every few seconds she looked up at Lyle, feeling his gaze burrowing a hole in the side of her scalp. Looking up was instinctive. She hated how he smiled at her, like she was a prize possession he had won in a bet. The smirk curling at the corners of his lips unnerved her.

So, whenever his hand reached for hers, she found a way to busy them. She either shoved them in her hair or rummaged through her purse for a non-existent object. She was regretting her latest decision. It seemed as if, when she had woken up that week, life had presented one bad decision after the other for her to make.

Katherine looked up at Lyle again. She met his smile with a weary one of her own. Nothing about him inspired passion. The set of his nose and jaw were all wrong. His shoulders didn’t seem to be the right breadth, his arms not thick enough, his pearly white skin not dark enough and his hair too blonde and too straight. Not to mention those baby blues were the wrong shade. She wasn’t staring at a roaring sunset when she looked into them, they were just, blue.

“Where are we going?” She finally broke through the blanket of silence that had enveloped them.

“There is a nice bistro down the road. I used to go there when I was in Varsity. They have the best burgers and fries in New York.”

She met his enthusiastic smile with a frown. Great—like she wanted to pack on a few pounds. She needed her body to be perfect for AJ, if he took her back. She groaned as she leaned her head back on the head rest. The daunting fear that AJ wouldn’t ever touch her again squeezed at her heart. Before her indiscretion with Lyle, her biggest fear had been that AJ wouldn’t ever grow to love her. Now her biggest fear was she wouldn’t be able to make it into his bed ever. She swallowed the ball of nerves which had gathered in her throat. She didn’t know her distressed sound had been so loud until Lyle turned a questioning glance at her.

“Is everything all right?”

No, you idiot. My sex life will never be the same again. Now I’m stuck with the likes of you. Always trying, but never getting there. That was what she wanted to say, but instead she said, “I’m just hungry.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll feed you soon, my pet.”

And left to his devices she didn’t put it past Lyle to feed her to the point of explosion. She flashed him a grin, then looked away and rolled her eyes.

Katherine first heard the noise, then saw the lights before Lyle drove into the parking lot of what looked like a busy bar. A monster truck caught her eye as they drove in. She could swear she had seen it before, but she couldn’t place a face to the black beast. She let Lyle help her out of his SUV. She even let him hold her hand as they made it through the throngs of people gathered around the bar and the pool table. She began to hesitate when Lyle led them toward the back. It was dark and the only people around were those clawing at each other’s clothes. This must have been the make out spot. She started to stop, but a shove from behind, drove her into Lyle’s waiting arms. She let herself get dragged into the booth and sandwiched between the wall and Lyle’s leering body.

Katherine watched as Lyle looked around the secluded areas. A sly grin on his lips, he turned to her and spoke. “Look at all these horny kids. Maybe we should show them how grownups do it.”

Katherine saw Lyle’s face lower toward her. And of its own volition, her hand stuck out and pushed Lyle’s puckered lips away. And just as Katherine was turning her head away, her eyes caught sight of a brown leather jacket she remembered snuggling into—wide shoulders that looked so stiff, but so gentle to the touch—and a storm brewing in those sunset brown eyes she loved so much. AJ stood in the middle of the busy bar; his murderous gaze settled on her.

“Oh look—it’s Ross. Maybe we should give him a show.” Lyle sneered.

Katherine used both her hands to push him back. She tried to climb over the table, but Lyle had his hold on her. Besides, AJ was already gone. But someone else was there, the owner of the monster truck. “Reno, help, please.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Reno crossed the room in three giant steps. He stood behind Lyle and picked him up from the booth. It was a case of David versus Goliath, but this time Goliath was winning. No matter how much Lyle pushed and punched, Reno didn’t seem fazed by his attempts. He tossed Lyle to a corner of the room and held his hand out for Katherine.

Once they were out of the bar and inside the comforting warmth of his truck, Katherine turned toward him. “Thank—” the words stuck in her throat. The anger that boiled in Reno’s glare silenced her. She sat in silence as Reno pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road. She hadn’t told him where to take her, but since he and AJ were so close, she suspected he knew to take her to his place.

“I feel like I should apologize,” she started and when he made no effort to join in the conversation she went on. “I don’t know what happened with Lyle. One minute he was telling me about Rose and AJ, and the next—” And the next what?

She couldn’t finish that statement. She knew she was a chore for Reno already. She expected him to stop his car and toss her out. But then a thought came to her. “Why hasn’t AJ kicked me out yet?”

“Why should he?” The anger in his deep baritone filled the air.

“Lyle and I didn’t have sex, we just made out,” she rushed the words out.

“What’s the difference?” Reno asked with a new scowl.

“I know he knows what we did. He must want an explanation. But I don’t understand what happened either. It’s my fault anyway. I’m the one who suggested we be roommates with benefits. Of course, he would want to screw Rose the first chance he got. Why is he mad at me anyway? It’s not as if we were exclusive.”

“Why are you mad at yourself?” Reno asked.

“That is such an absurd question,” she shot back. But then it did make sense. AJ hadn’t shown any sign of anger toward her. He had just pulled back. He no longer made advances toward her, he didn’t talk to her, and he didn’t even give her that earth-shattering smile she lived for anymore. “He’s never going to kiss me again, never going to touch me. We are never going to make love again, are we?”

Reno didn’t answer her. He kept his eyes fixed on the road.

“I’m angry because I know I hurt him. I can feel it in my heart because I’m hurting too. I loved that he was the only man who knew every inch of me, knew the look in my eye or how I sound when I climax.”

“I don’t need to know all that,” he cut in.

“You don’t get it. He knows all my little quirks. I have only been living with him for three weeks and I feel like he knows me better than I know myself.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“But I ruined it. I was going to be the wife who has only slept with her husband because he was the one, I was saving myself for.” Reno snorted a laugh. “He told you how we met didn’t he?”

“Yep.”

Katherine leaned in closer to Reno. This was her chance to get a little bit of information about AJ—something that she could use to bring him back to her. “What else did he say about me?”

Reno shot her a look of animosity and Katherine shrunk back into her corner. “Trust is a big issue with AJ. I’m not going to tell you what he confided in me.”

“I understand.” She whimpered as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t give you some insight.” He smiled at her. The anger completely disappeared from his eyes. How did Lisette stay with him without getting whiplash from his constant change of moods?

“I’ll appreciate any information you can give me.”

“Be honest with him.”

Like an eager student Katherine leaned forward to hear the rest. But after a couple of silence-filled seconds she realized she wasn’t getting any more. “That’s it?”

“AJ is a lot like you. Strong on the outside, but fragile on the inside. He never got into a serious relationship because he’s looking for a girl who is just like his mothers.”

She threw her hands up in defeat. “Then we don’t have a chance. I don’t know anything about his birth mother. But no one can be as perfect as Rosalinda. The woman is a saint.”

Reno’s amused chuckle frustrated her even further. “You don’t need to be Rosalinda. You just need to be honest with him. Treat his heart with the same care he’ll treat yours.”

“But I don’t know how he feels about me.”

“You still live in his apartment, rent free, I might add. You get to drive his car, don’t you? Lisette and Catalella aren’t allowed anywhere near it, and those girls mean the world to him. In fact, the only two people who have driven it are you and AJ. He’s trusted you with his stuff.”

“And I betrayed him.” Katherine didn’t bother wiping away the fat tear rolling down her cheek.

“You had a minor setback. Now, do away with the roommates with benefits crap, and start all over again. Give each other time, and if it’s meant to be—you’ll be together.”

“We had a sexual relationship first. He won’t touch me that way anymore.”

“If AJ won’t even have pity sex with you, it means you have a long way to go, Katherine. Now get out of my car, my girl is waiting for me at home.”

Katherine looked around and noticed that they were in front of her apartment building. How long had they been there? “Do you think we’ll be all right?”

Reno just shrugged his shoulders. “By the way, he never slept with Rose. He hasn’t been with anyone after he met you.” He pulled away and Katherine found herself alone in the cold air, her fear of facing AJ making her shiver. She was an idiot.