Chapter 7

The next two weeks flew by faster than Azure could measure the days. Her time was filled with voice lessons, photo shoots, ever increasing practices with the band, and myriad other details. It was June Thirtieth before she knew it, and she woke up feeling nervous that morning.

The nervous feeling, with the churning nausea and occasional dizziness, stayed with her throughout the afternoon. She was relieved when Mathias found a few minutes just to chat before the performance.

He sat down beside her in the make-up room, backstage of the sold-out concert hall. “How are you holding up?” he asked, gently squeezing her shoulder.

Azure took a deep breath. “Um, I don’t know, Mat. I am really, really dreading this.”

He smiled. “It’s just like being in the school play.”

“Multiplied by a few thousand.” The Upton Performing Arts Center held five thousand people, meaning five thousand pairs of critical eyes, judging her. Every member in the audience would be comparing her to Jada, finding fault with her, knowing that Azure couldn’t measure up to the standard set by the wildly popular current female lead vocalist. “I’m going to be sick.”

Mathias stayed with Azure until the concert began. Together, they stood off stage right, watching the performance. Azure wouldn’t appear until the second to the last song. At that time, she would be singing a duet with Jada, which was supposed to signify her arrival and Jada’s departure. The last song was hers alone. The idea terrified her.

Burning Starr performed better than ever, with an edge to their music they hadn’t found in a long while. Even offstage, Azure could feel it. There was also a hint of melancholy, as if each member was projecting their emotions over the impending changes, knowing the group would never be the same. Jada brought her own unique personality and mark to Burning Starr, and Azure knew it was difficult for them to discern if she could do the same. There was resentment among a few of them that Jada, an original member of the band, was being forced out. Denise was bitter because she hadn’t been offered the female lead vocal, as evidenced by her pouty behavior and attitude toward Azure.

The audience was also somber. Burning Starr usually energized their fans, inducing waves of screaming, laughing, and dancing. Tonight, the crowd stood on their feet for most of the songs, but did not get excessively wild, as if they didn’t want to miss a word of the songs or an event of great importance.

Inevitably, the hour-and-a-half set wound down until the last two songs waited. Dante spoke in a clear and slightly winded voice, directly into the microphone. “As many of you know, tonight is Jada Mitchell’s last performance with Burning Starr.” A fervor of protests and boos sounded from the fans, and Dante waited for it to die down. “I’d like to introduce our new member at this time. Azure Wilkins.”

Her feet felt frozen to the floor, and Mathias urged her onto the stage with a gentle push. She took a hesitant step, and another, until her feet led her to her position onstage. Jada smiled at her, but Azure could see the coldness in her eyes.

“Our two ladies are going to give you a treat,” Dante continued. “Together, they’re singing “Gone” for you.” The crowd applauded when he mentioned their latest release.

Azure fumbled with her microphone to adjust it to the right height, feeling Jada’s dismissive stare slide across her as she turned back to the audience.

An electric guitar poured out the first few notes of the ballad. Even the instrument sounded melancholy as Crowley, on drums, joined in. The keyboard and harmonizing followed, signaling it was almost time for vocals. Azure turned to the audience, looking into their faces. She could make out the eyes and faces of the fans on the first few rows, but couldn’t read their expression. She froze as Ringo hit the right note on the keyboard, cuing them. Jada’s voice flowed out smooth and rich as she sang the words. She gave Azure a smug look and continued to sing.

Azure’s eyes darted around the auditorium, until she made eye contact with Mathias, standing offstage. He smiled and gave her the thumbs-up sign, and suddenly the words flowed from her mouth. She was almost shocked as they burst forth, strong and confident, and ringing throughout the room. Could that really be her voice? It sounded so different than at the school’s stage, or the studio at Mathias’s house. She sounded like a real singer; one people paid money for, just to hear the lyrics she breathed life into with her sultry voice.

There was a moment of silence from the audience as they absorbed her voice. She got a sense of acceptance from their opened mouths and awed expressions.

Jada frowned and increased her volume, trying to drown her out.

The confidence she lacked in daily life flowed out of Azure’s throat, and she matched Jada octave for octave. Her daily torture sessions with Dori were worth it, she decided, as she finished the song without hesitation. To her surprise, Jada’s voice faltered on the last note and faded away. She had a flabbergasted expression on her face.

Dante lifted his mic again. “Wasn’t that beautiful?” The crowd roared their approval. “Let’s give Jada a warm farewell,” he said, and the audience increased their applause and yells.

Once the fervor died down, Jada leaned into the microphone, saying, “I’ll miss you all.” Another round of thunderous applause ensued. When that faded, Jada bowed and left the stage.

The music for Azure’s song started, and the fans fell silent as unfamiliar notes filled the auditorium. Dante had written the song just for her, and only the band had heard it before. The customers listened raptly as she brought the words to life. It was about a woman starting a new phase in her life, while cutting ties with the old ways, and Azure brought a piece of herself to the song. Her eyes misted as she sang the chorus.

“You told me I would never soar so high, be so free, Guess you lied or didn’t believe in me.

Like I never believed in me.

We were both wrong, and now I’m free.”

***

Mathias watched her in awe, just like everyone else. This Azure was so much different from the girl he had befriended. She captivated him, just as she had bewitched every fan in the audience—male or female. He didn’t think Jada’s departure would affect the sales of albums much at all. She might even be the best thing to ever happen to Burning Starr.

Jada grimaced. “She has them eating out of the palm of her hands, but they won’t forget me.”

Despite the antagonism and history between them, Mathias tore his attention from Azure and tried to be sensitive. “I’m sure they won’t, Jada. You will always be a part of the band, even though you aren’t a member anymore. The fans will always love you.”

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. “Will you always love me too, Mati?” she asked huskily.

Mat looked directly into her eyes. “No. I don’t think I ever really did.” His stomach clenched at the words, and he almost took them back. Then a little thrill of dark glee filled him when he saw the pain in her eyes, and he crossed his arms. Part of him regretted the pieces they took of each other’s souls, but it was all he had left.

With a hard glare masking her tears, Jada stormed away.

Mathias returned his attention to Azure, ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach and the aching feeling in his chest. She deserved every harsh word he threw at her, and then some.

***

When the song ended, the audience raged for several minutes, insisting on an encore. Although it wasn’t planned, Azure ended up singing a love song with Dante, and as always, the powerful lyrics brought tears to her eyes. She had been surprised to find out that Mathias was the one who had written “At Last”, having mentally assigned him the role of all business when it came to Burning Starr. The emotions in the lyrics spoke of pain she hoped he had never experienced.

When the show ended amid raucous cheers, Azure escaped to the makeup room, losing the surge of confidence that had carried her through the concert. She sank into a chair and turned in surprise when Jada appeared from behind her. “It went well.” She frowned up at her, not liking the strange look in Jada’s eyes.

“You’ll never replace me.” Jada darted forward and grabbed her wrists. Azure tried to pull away as Jada jerked her out of the seat. “I’m the heart of Burning Starr, and Dante’s the soul. You don’t belong here!”

Azure’s eyes darted wildly as she searched for another presence in the small room. Upon seeing no one, she screamed, not caring if she ended up looking like a fool. Jada looked like she was out of control, and Azure didn’t want to face her alone.

Jada punched her in the face. “Shut up.” She shook Azure. “It’s what you deserve for trying to usurp me. Burning Starr and Mathias belong to me.”

Azure was beyond hearing her as she sobbed helplessly, still struggling to loosen the other girl’s hold. She cried out with relief when two security staff and Mathias burst into the make-up room. The two men dragged Jada off her, and Mat pulled Azure farther away from her.

“Get Dante,” he told Denise when she came running in.

Dante appeared a moment later, cellphone in hand, having been alerted by Denise.

“Call Dr. Forrester,” said Mathias as the two men in black T-shirts struggled to hold Jada and keep her away from Azure. “Tell him we need him here now.”

Dante dialed a number using speed-dial and spoke into the phone, describing the details. When he hung up, he said, “Dr. Forrester is on his way, and an ambulance has been dispatched.” Dante looked at Jada, and his expression got softer. “We didn’t want it to be this way.”

For an answer, she spat at him and hit the mirror behind him when he ducked. The wad of mucus and spit trailed down the mirror as if in slow motion.

Everything about the moment seemed to crawl by. “What’s going on?” Azure asked Mathias as he pulled her into the dressing room, pushing her into a chair. “Why did she attack me?”

“She’s a drug addict.” He sighed. “She’s in treatment—outpatient rehab three times a week—but it isn’t working well. Tomorrow, she’s supposed to enter the Kurtis Clinic for inpatient treatment. Dante and I never thought she could be dangerous when we agreed to let her stay until the end of June. I hope you can believe that.”

Azure nodded. “Will she be okay?” She didn’t like her, and Jada obviously hated her, but she still had sympathy for her.

Mathias shrugged. “I don’t know. This is her third round of treatment in two years. We were hoping to keep it quiet, but I don’t know if that’s possible now that they’re sending an ambulance to collect her.”

“Why don’t you just say she’s ill?” Azure suggested hesitantly. “Something as indelicate as food poisoning?”

Mathias nodded. “We might try that, but the security men saw what happened. Sometimes it’s better to just tell the truth.”

Jada was taken in an ambulance after being sedated by Dr. Forrester. Several hundred fans still hanging around witnessed the whole incident. For the time being, Dante and Mathias did not make any statements, and neither did their Public Relations person the next morning, except to say that Jada was in stable condition.

The next morning, Azure had trouble believing it had all happened and might have dismissed it as a dream except for the purple bruise that blossomed across one cheek. She eventually took herself downstairs and ate breakfast while pressing an ice pack to the swollen area. They had another concert tonight before officially kicking off their summer tour in three days, and Azure wanted the bruise to fade quickly.

Ava saw the mark on her face and fussed over Azure as she led her into her suite’s bathroom. “There’s not much we can do to get rid of the bruise,” she said as she pulled a mysterious jar out of the cabinet. “But we can hide it.” She winked at her and applied a heavy coating of the cream to her face.

After she was done, Azure looked in the mirror and could barely see the bruise at all. “What is that stuff?” she asked, hesitantly touching the bruise.

“Heavy stage makeup. I used to be an actor and got quite adept at hiding bruises,” she said in an offhand way. She must have read the curiosity in Azure’s expression, because she added, “Finn and Mat’s father hated the world, and me in particular. He thought I’d trapped him by getting pregnant, and he did the honorable thing.” She rolled her eyes. “Which, to him, meant marrying me, beating me, and blaming me for ruining his life. He had the good sense to get killed in an accident when I was pregnant with Mathias.”

“So Dante doesn’t have the same father?” asked Azure. “I wondered why his last name was different.”

“I met Jeff when I starred in a movie he directed. It took me a while to trust him, but we eventually got married and had Dante. The boys are all two years apart, you see, starting with Finn, who is twenty-six.”

“You don’t seem old enough to have a son his age.” She blushed, worried she had offended Ava, but the other woman laughed.

“Thank you, dear. I haven’t heard such a nice compliment in a long time.” She eyed Azure critically. “I think you’ll pass. The cameras and the audience won’t be able to see the bruise at all.”

“Thanks,” said Azure shyly, wanting to hug Ava but afraid of being rejected. To her surprise, Ava hugged her gently before they returned to the breakfast room.

***

Azure dressed for that night’s performance with care, knowing she would be a central figure in that performance. She chose a silver beaded halter top and a pair of black silk pants.

When she emerged from the dressing room, Dante whistled and leered comically. “You definitely don’t look seventeen in that outfit.”

Azure blushed. “I won’t be seventeen for much longer—only one month to go.”

Mathias came up behind her. “Then you can sign the contract and apply for your birth certificate so you can get a driving permit. I’m sure you’re dying to get your license.”

“I think so.” She wanted to learn how to drive, but she was also afraid. Traffic rushed by so quickly in L.A., and sometimes she was scared just being a passenger. The idea of negotiating through the heavy traffic was almost enough to send her into a panic attack.

“Are you ready?” Dante took her hand when she nodded. They went on stage together, followed by the other members of Burning Starr. The concert lasted nearly two hours and was as successful as the night before. Once again, Azure shone brightly, becoming a different person with the microphone in front of her. When it was over, she bowed with the others and disappeared backstage.

After stripping off her make-up, Azure caught a taxi back to Dante’s house and went to her room. The band had planned to hold a small celebration at Crowley’s, but she wasn’t in a party mood. Aside from that, Azure got the feeling most of the band disliked her, and she didn’t want to spend any extra time with them.

***

She spent the next two days in intensive study with Dori, knowing those were her last voice lessons for a while. Maybe even forever, depending on how well she did during their summer tour. Dori wasn’t exactly nice, but she had unbent a bit after hearing Azure during her first concert. She spent the time trying to draw the same level of power out of Azure as she had released during the performance. Azure could not summon it at will, though she tried repeatedly. Their lessons ended up as frustrating as all the others.

After her last lesson with Dori on Thursday, Azure packed her bags, including most of the clothes Roseaux had sent her. Her makeup kit was the size of a small suitcase, and another box held hair accessories. Members of the road crew loaded the luggage onto one of the tour buses early Friday morning.

They ate breakfast with Ava before departing. Ava stopped Azure from getting on the bus and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Good luck, and don’t forget to have fun while you’re at it.” Then she moved on to kiss the boys and whisper private goodbyes.

Azure took a seat on the bus holding her clothes, after doing a quick exploration. This bus had two bedrooms, a small exercise room, and a living area. She curled up on the love seat, preparing for a long ride. Mathias, Dante, and Crowley boarded the same bus, and the other band members got on the second bus. The other vehicles in their entourage were a semi and a third bus, with sleeping quarters for the road crew.

She watched the scenery out the window most of the morning, trying to absorb it all. By mid-afternoon, the day’s never-ending monotony had caught up with her, and her last vestiges of excitement faded as the afternoon wore on. Her eyes kept closing, and she finally surrendered to sleep, curled up on the love seat.

***

Mathias watched her wide-eyed enthusiasm with amusement for most of the morning. When she fell asleep, he found himself studying the gentle innocence of her face, and the rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed in and out. He was attracted to her, and he knew that was dangerous. After the disaster with Jada, he didn’t need another romance any time soon, especially with the new female vocal for Burning Starr.

He happened to look over at Dante, who had been watching a DVD. He saw his brother’s gaze had also fallen on the sleeping Azure, and Mathias tried to deny his jealousy. He almost wished they would get involved so he wouldn’t be tempted to make any moves on the young and vulnerable Azure. He wasn’t the kind of man who would ever try to take his brother’s girl, and it would solve the problem for him.

What problems would it create for Azure though? Dante was a great guy, but he wasn’t known for the length of his relationships. His passions burned out quickly, and he moved on to the next girl. Azure was too fragile and inexperienced to deal with the heartache that kind of relationship could bring. Far better for her to avoid getting involved with either brother, he decided.

Dante caught his eye and grinned sheepishly. “It’s hard not to watch her, isn’t it? Do you remember ever being that young or sheltered?”

“No.” Mathias’s expression turned brooding. “I was never that young.” He could read the interest on his brother’s face, and once more, he suppressed a surge of jealousy. They were both bad for Azure. Neither he nor Dante really knew how to sustain a relationship, and hurting her was the last thing he wanted. He just needed to keep reminding himself that. Especially when his thoughts led him into dangerous territory.

His eyes shifted back to Dante, and he grimaced at his brother’s rapt expression. Being honest with himself, he admitted the very last thing he wanted was for Dante to win her. As childish as it was, he had seen her first. She should be his, if anyone’s.