Chapter 4

Azure started getting ready at four on Saturday afternoon. After a long soak in the Kirshner’s’ claw footed tub, she let Brandy apply a brown goopy mask to her face. As it set, feeling like cement, Lisa gave her a complete manicure and pedicure with a deep red polish. When Azure finally peeled off the mask, she felt much better—until Brandy smoothed some smelly lotion on her face to counteract the exfoliation. “What was the point of all that then?” asked Azure in confusion.

“It’s all in the name of beauty,” Brandy assured her. She herself had no problems in that department. She wore her long black hair in hundreds of cornrows, and her skin, the shade of melting caramel, glowed. “You don’t think I wake up looking like this, do you?” She giggled.

Koko was persuaded to apply Azure’s makeup, and she was grateful. Her grandmother had never allowed her to wear the stuff, and she’d outgrown the makeup craze long before she’d met Brandy and Janessa, who both wore cosmetics. After make-up, Brandy curled her hair and pulled the sides on top of her head with a cubic zirconium comb.

Finally, she put on the dress and gasped with pleasure when she saw herself. She really was pretty in the outfit, and a small burst of confidence flowed through her. She twirled around, sending the full skirt swishing around her ankles. “Who is that?” asked Azure in wonder as she tentatively touched the mirror. Who was the beautiful, poised, and polished young woman staring back at her? What happened to the shy and gangly girl she was used to seeing?

The doorbell rang, and the girls ran down the stairs in a flurry of giggles and whispers. “Janessa and I will meet you there,” Brandy said as Darius opened the door to admit Chase.

He looked handsome in the gray tuxedo, and his shy smile had Azure returning it. His red hair had been tamed and his freckles didn’t stand out as starkly with the gray. Bashfully, he extended a white orchid. “It’s a wrist corsage. I didn’t know what style your dress was.” He ducked his head and whispered, “You look really nice.”

Blushing, Azure slid on the orchid and took his arm. “You look great too.” They posed for a picture Koko insisted on. After she finished snapping the picture, they left the house.

“Do you’ve a curfew?” Chase asked as they slid into the limousine. The driver shut the door behind them, and they were off.

Azure shook her head. “No. I don’t have a curfew, and neither does Brandy. Janessa has to be back at two.”

He licked his lips nervously. “So do you want to go to Garret’s party after the prom, maybe?”

Shrugging, Azure played with her corsage. “Um, maybe. Let’s see later, okay?” She didn’t know about the party. She was naïve, but even she knew that most girls who hadn’t already done so “gave it up” after prom, and she wasn’t going to be one of them. Garret’s parties had a reputation for being a little wild at times.

“Okay.” Chase shrugged, and they lapsed into stilted conversation. He took her to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner, and Azure had lasagna for the first time. Her grandmother did not eat “foreign” foods, and their menus rarely varied from week to week.

After dinner, they drove to the hotel and the driver let them out before driving off. “That’s the end of the limo,” he said sheepishly. “We’ll have to take a taxi later.”

“That’s fine,” said Azure as he led her inside. Most of the senior class was present, as were some of the underclassmen who’d been invited as dates. Azure estimated there were two hundred people in the ballroom, and room for two hundred more.

Chase handed Mrs. Vick their tickets and led her to a table where some of the drama people sat. Azure had promised to save a seat for Brandy and Janessa, and there were two seats waiting for them when they arrived.

The food was great and the music lively. Azure was a little hesitant at the first slow song, but Chase urged her onto the floor. He held her lightly at a distance, and she got lost in the music. It was her favorite song by Burning Starr, called, “At Last”. After that, they danced every dance until one in the morning. “If we’re going to Garret’s, we should go soon,” Chase said. “Some people are on a curfew, including Janessa.”

Biting her lip, Azure finally nodded and grabbed her purse. They rode over with Brandy and Janessa in Janessa’s car. Brandy would be catching a taxi later, and they discussed the possibility of sharing a fare.

Parking was scarce at Garret’s house, so they had to walk most of the block from their space. Music blared out the open doors and windows. People were in various states of dress on the lawn, some making out heavily for the whole world to see. Azure blushed and quickly averted her gaze as they went inside the house.

Someone pressed a drink into Azure’s hand and she sipped it, grimacing at the bitter taste. “Yuck,” she told Chase. “Can we find some soda? I don’t like beer.” He nodded and they got lost in the crowd, separating from Brandy and Janessa. They found the kitchen, where Azure took a can of Pepsi from the table.

They mingled for over an hour before finding Brandy again. “Janessa already left.” She didn’t look bored though, as she was sitting with a guy from her Geometry class, talking animatedly.

They moved on, stopping every so often to talk to a group of people here and there.

Chase led her outside to the patio, where they sat in a porch swing and watched people in their finery throw each other into the pool. “That looks like fun,” Chase said. “You wanna try it?”

Azure shook her head. “I’m not ruining my dress.”

He laughed. “Sissy.”

She remained resolute. “If you knew how long it took to look like this, you would understand.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t think you’d go with me,” he said suddenly. “You don’t really know me, and you haven’t gone out with anyone before.”

“I was happy you asked me.” Azure ducked her head. “I didn’t know you very well until the play, but I think we’re friends now.”

His face fell a little. “Yeah, we’re good friends.” Sighing, Chase leaned back and put his arm around Azure. “Friends,” he said once more and set the swing in motion.

Frowning, Azure studied Chase. She sensed she’d said the wrong thing, but didn’t know what, so couldn’t begin to repair the damage. “Are you having a good time?”

He nodded. “I’m enjoying myself. I’d really hoped you’d be my date for the prom. I wanted to ask you that first day after rehearsal, but it took me awhile to get up the nerve.”

“You didn’t even know me then.” Azure crinkled her brow. “Why would you want to take me to the prom?”

“Because I like you,” he whispered, playing with one of her curls as he spoke. “You’re cute.” Fiery color bloomed across his cheeks as he dropped his gaze.

Face warm, Azure searched for something to say. Her throat was closed tightly, and they rocked in silence. He leaned forward abruptly, bringing his mouth close to hers, and the swing jerked to a stop.

Azure gazed into his warm brown eyes and waited for him to make the next move. She closed her eyes as Chase pressed his lips to hers. She’d kissed him three or four times during rehearsal and twice during the performances, but this was different. Those kisses had been forced and stifling, and she hadn’t enjoyed it at all, even when she was still high on her adrenaline rush.

His lips were soft and gentle, almost hesitant, as they pressed against hers. Azure felt warm with excitement, but she didn’t get much out of the kiss. She stayed still as he kissed her once more, and again. When Chase tried to slip his tongue in her mouth, she pulled away.

He frowned for a moment, and picked up her hand. “Just friends,” he said morosely.

She hated to hurt him, but it was better for him to know now. “Just friends.”

“I can live with that,” Chase said with a gentle smile and they returned to the party. They tracked Brandy down awhile later and called a taxi. When it stopped in front of Brandy’s house, Chase brushed a kiss against Azure’s cheek, but attempted nothing else. “Good night,” he said to both of them and waved as they walked up to the house.

They went in and climbed the stairs to Brandy’s room, carefully removing the dresses before slipping into pajamas. “So, did you do it?” Brandy asked.

Shaking her head, Azure climbed into one side of the double bed. “No, of course not. We’re just friends. He kissed me though.” She sighed. “But it wasn’t all that great.”

Brandy’s face fell. “Oh,” she whispered, looking fretful. “I thought you were going to have sex with him.”

“I don’t really know him at all,” Azure protested. “Especially not well enough to do that. Why?”

She gnawed on her lip before meeting Azure’s eyes. “I didn’t want to be the only one…” She trailed off, looking at Azure’s shocked face. “Jasen Jones—the guy in my Geometry class. I’ve had a huge crush on him forever, and I finally got to spend some time with him.”

“You aren’t dating or anything.” Azure frowned. “Are you?”

Brandy shrugged. “Maybe after tonight, but probably not. I picked him out to be my first months ago,” she casually confided. “It was pretty nice.”

“Omigod. You aren’t going out with him or anything? Don’t you feel used?”

Brandy gave her a very adult look, and her eyes seemed much wiser than they had just a few hours ago. “I wanted him, Azure, and I don’t care if I never see him again. I got what I wanted, I was careful, and I’m not going to regret it.”

Azure backed off. “Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I’m glad you were careful.”

“Duh,” Brandy said with a grin. “Of course, I was careful. I’ve been reading Cosmo since I was twelve.” For some reason, they both found that funny and giggled. Finally, they turned off the light, and Brandy fell asleep right away, as evidenced by her heavy snores.

Azure listened to her friend, thinking about what she’d done. She admired Brandy’s courage, but she couldn’t imagine having sex with someone unless they were in a relationship. It was probably because of her stifled upbringing, but it just seemed wrong to sleep with someone because they were attractive or nice, unless she loved him. Finally, she fell asleep as well, and they slept until three the next afternoon.

***

The days after the prom seemed to fly by with magical speed, and Azure marveled that she was on the verge of graduating. She hadn’t spoken to her grandmother, because Brigette would not take her calls. Koko had gone to see her in person, and Brigette informed her Azure was dead to her. It had bothered Azure to lose her only family link, but not as much as it might have. She knew her grandmother did not love her, and she’d never gotten the chance to love Brigette. The woman had rebuffed her every offer of affection, responding with harsh words and petty criticisms, communicating her disdain and dislike in a thousand ways.

Mathias had spoken with her twice, and Azure had agreed to join Burning Starr. He’d sent her an airline ticket for Los Angeles that departed June Fourth from Denver. Azure was all packed and would be leaving in three days. Tomorrow was graduation, and by most standards, Azure would be an adult, though she was a few weeks shy of her eighteenth birthday.

She was frightened of the unknown and wasn’t the only one. She knew that Brandy and Janessa were both worried, and there was a new somberness in most of the seniors. They were happy to be done with school and their exuberance showed, but most had an underlying gravity to them, as they faced the unknown. They were leaving behind childhood for the responsibility of being an adult. Some would still have college to protect them for a while, but the others, like Azure, were stepping into the real world. She faced it alone, without family, and though she had two very good friends, they were going to be so far away.

***

June Second was a bright, sunny day that made it difficult to feel gloomy or anxious. Azure tried to put aside her worries and concentrate on the occasion. She had successfully completed high school and wanted to savor the moment. As she sat on the stage, she couldn’t help but think about the fact that her grandmother wasn’t there to see her graduate, and had to suppress tears. She wished her parents were still alive, but that was even more hopeless. Lost in her pity party, she almost didn’t see Ruth when the older woman caught her attention with a wave. With a shaky smile, she returned the wave.

The principal called her name, and Azure walked to the podium, accepting the diploma and shaking his hand. She returned to her seat and gazed at the simple scroll in delight. It represented so many things—accomplishment, hard work, an ending, and a new beginning. Most of all, freedom. A heady sensation of excitement filled Azure at the prospect of her new life. Whatever it would bring would surely be better than the life she’d lived with Brigette, or this month of limbo she’d endured.

***

For the first time in her life, Azure got drunk that night at the senior party hosted by Krystyne Sunders. She’d gone with Chase and another group of people and someone gave her a glass of “special” punch. She drank two cups and was quite happy. Chase had a couple too, and they ended up in a bedroom upstairs.

They made out for awhile as Azure’s head spun dizzily. She liked Chase, but not that way. What were they doing on the bed of a complete stranger, kissing and touching? “We have to stop,” she said, pushing Chase away. Feeling dizzy, Azure stood up and stumbled into the bathroom.

Chase followed her, holding her hair as she vomited. “I shouldn’t have drunk two glasses,” she moaned as he hugged her against him.

“Me neither,” he agreed. “I’m going to have a hell of a headache tomorrow. Even worse, I made a pass at you, and I wasn’t ever going to do that.”

Azure laid her head on his shoulder. “It’s okay. We were both drunk. It was just an accident.”

He squirmed. “It wasn’t supposed to happen, but I wanted it to. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I am so attracted to you.”

Azure opened her mouth to say something, and he placed a finger across her lips. He smiled. “We’re only friends, and my head knows that. It’s just taking my heart awhile to accept it.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said in a shaky voice. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

Chase shook his head. “You didn’t, Azure. You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just a case of puppy love, and I will get over it. Even if you felt the same, things would never work between us. I’m going to MIT, and you’ll be in Los Angeles. Let’s just forget about this whole thing, okay?”

Feeling bad, but amazed by his maturity, Azure nodded, knowing she had led him on somewhat. She’d been rolling around on the bed with him, even though she didn’t have any feelings for him besides friendship. “I think it’s a good thing we’ll be so far apart,” she whispered. “I don’t want us not to be friends.”

“Exactly.” Chase helped her to her feet. “Do you want to go home now?” Azure nodded, and he led her downstairs to call a cab. When he dropped her off at Brandy’s, he squeezed her shoulder. “Email me, write me, and call me.”

“Every day,” Azure promised. “I’ll miss you.”

He looked sad for a brief second. “I’ll miss you too.” He returned to the taxi and it drove away. Azure brushed the tears off her cheeks, feeling like a completely heartless bitch as she went inside Brandy’s house.