Chapter 15

Ruth found Azure in the library two hours later. “Honey, everyone’s gone now, and I just realized I hadn’t seen you. How did it go with Mr. Seals?”

“I…” She shook her head and tried again. “He’s going to need to see you in a couple of days.”

“Why?” Ruth asked, sitting down in the chair across from Azure.

“My grandmother left you this house, her car, and all her money. I’m sure you’ll have to sign some paperwork.”

Ruth shook her head. “I won’t take it,” she said firmly. “I can’t believe Brigette would stoop so low as to take away your inheritance.”

“I don’t need this house or the money,” said Azure softly, handing Ruth the financial statements Kenneth Seals had left with her. “Totaling all the property and money, I’m worth nearly ninety-five million now.”

Looking shocked, Ruth whispered, “I had no idea about any of this.”

“There’s more,” said Azure, handing Ruth the letter Brigette had left for her. She watched the tears fill her eyes as the other woman read the words. “Now, do you see why Grandmother left it all to you? I won’t miss it at all, and she was trying to repay you for raising me.”

Ruth took a tissue from the box on the desk and blotted at her eyes, “I don’t know what to say,” she finally said. “I never expected anything like this to happen.”

“Neither did I.” Bitterly, she said, “She deprived me of two people who really might have loved me. She never even let me see them, and now it’s too late. How am I supposed to forgive her for that?”

“You may never be able to but take in consideration what your grandmother’s anger did to her. She was unable to forgive Cassie for falling in love and leaving her, and she turned her rage to you.” She looked down for a moment, crumpling the tissue in her hands. “She came to see Brigette once.”

“My mother? I thought—”

“Yes, Cassie and Richard came to see Brigette when you were just a small baby. Cassie wanted to mend the breech with her mother, but Brigette refused to even see her. She had me send Cassie away without a word exchanged between them. It hurt your mother deeply, and I remember how supportive Richard was. It was obvious there was deep love between them.”

“They really loved each other?” asked Azure. “I thought they might have gotten married because of the baby.”

Ruth shook her head. “I spoke very briefly with Cassie, and she told me she had lost the baby within weeks of running away, long before the marriage. Your parents loved each other, Azure, and they didn’t marry for the baby’s sake. They didn’t run away to spite Brigette, though the way she raised Cassie contributed to her rebelliousness. Brigette was my good friend, but she was never meant to be a mother. She didn’t have enough patience or tolerance to love unconditionally.”

“How could she send my mother away?” asked Azure in disbelief. “If she missed her so much, how could she reject her?”

“Pride,” Ruth said immediately. “Your grandmother always had more than her fair share of that emotion, and she felt betrayed by Cassandra. I know she hated herself for sending her away though. I heard her crying later that night, and then after your parents died four years later, she told me she would always regret sending her away without telling her how she felt. I suspect that’s why Brigette left this letter for you, to ensure she didn’t make that mistake again.”

“I’m just so confused,” Azure whispered, swiping at her eyes again with a tissue. “I don’t know what to think or how to feel. I don’t want to be angry with her, but she cost me the chance to know my dad’s parents.”

“Yes, she did, but I know she was sorry to have done that to you. Your grandmother wasn’t one to open up very much, but after she asked you to leave, she told me she had mistreated you badly. She was sorry for the way she’d treated you, but pride prevented her from picking up the phone and calling you.”

“My life is such a mess,” Azure confessed. “I don’t know what to do, Ruth.”

“Where did Dante and Mathias go?” Ruth asked abruptly. “I saw them here earlier, and now they’re gone.”

“I sent them away. I couldn’t deal with them on top of this right now.”

Ruth shook her head. “I see. Well, I thought that Dante was a nice boy. He stayed with you the whole time and supported you when you needed him. Are you sure it was the right decision to send him away?”

“I sent Mathias too,” Azure pointed out defensively.

“Yes, you sent them both away, but don’t keep pushing them away. If you love them, either one of them, don’t take them for granted. They won’t always be there for you, and you owe it to them to make up your mind.”

“I can’t deal with this right now,” Azure snapped. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I’m sorry, Ruth. I shouldn’t take it out on you. I know you’re trying to help me.”

“Yes, because I love you, and I want to see you happy.”

“I just don’t know who I want.”

Ruth nodded.

Azure looked at her. “What did you think of Mathias?”

Ruth shrugged. “I didn’t really see much of him. I’m going to go put something together for dinner. We have a mountain of leftovers.” She rose from the chair. “I just can’t believe Brigette left this all to me,” she said in awe, looking around the room. “Of course, you must take anything you want.”

“Thank you, Ruth,” said Azure as Ruth left the room.

Azure sat in the chair for a while before standing up and turning on the gas fireplace. Staring into the flames, she searched for answers to the questions that haunted her.

How did she decide whom was the man she loved? She loved Dante and Mathias both, just in different ways. Mathias was like her best friend when he wasn’t angry with her. Dante was an exciting lover—fun and impulsive. She could talk to Mathias about anything, and lately she had felt comfortable saying anything to Dante too.

Mathias was sweet and tender, but he was jealous of Dante. Dante was more accepting of her feelings, and Azure got the feeling he would wait for her forever if he had to. Then there was the thing with Mathias and Jada. Mathias had never told her, and Azure couldn’t help but wonder why. Dante hadn’t told her either or tried to use it as a wedge to drive her and Mathias apart.

“Damn,” Azure hissed, rising from the chair and pacing to the window. She had to talk to Mathias, and it didn’t feel right to do it over the phone. It was too important to her future to not see him in person. Despite her resolve not to return to Los Angeles before she had her heart straightened out, Azure knew she had to go back. She couldn’t make her decision until she talked to Mathias.

***

Two days later, after hugging Ruth and extracting a promise the older woman would visit her soon, Azure boarded a plane bound for LAX. The flight was long, and she was restless. She wanted things resolved so she could get on with her life.

When the plane finally landed, Azure hailed a taxi and directed the driver to Ava’s home. Feeling nervous, she over-tipped the driver, smoothed her dress, and stepped out of the cab. She had to fight the ridiculous compulsion to jump back in and have him drive her home.

Taking a deep breath, she walked to the front door and rang the bell. Ava opened the door and enveloped Azure in a hug when she stepped over the threshold. “How are you?”

“Better,” Azure settled for answering. “I got most of the details taken care of.”

“Dante said you had quite a mess ahead of you.”

“Yes, but I think it’s nearly over now.” She wasn’t certain if she spoke of the legal tangle or Dante and Mathias. “Um, is Mat home?”

Ava frowned, and her eyes slid away from Azure’s for a moment. “He’s out right now, Azure. He’ll be back in a little while.”

“Oh, I see,” said Azure, feeling deflated. “Perhaps I could go to him?”

She shook her head. “He’s visiting Jada, dear.”

“Oh.” She felt as if she had been hit in the stomach.

“You’re welcome to wait,” Ava offered as the front door opened.

Azure walked in and followed Ava to the living room. She sat on the couch, and while she gave the appearance of carrying on a conversation with the other woman, her thoughts were on Mathias and Jada.

She looked up at the sound of footsteps in the hall, holding her breath. Mathias came in and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Azure sitting beside his mother on the sofa.

“Well, I have some things to do,” said Ava. She got to her feet and left the room.

“I didn’t expect you to be back so quickly,” Mathias said awkwardly.

“I had to talk to you,” Azure said. “I need to know why you didn’t tell me about Jada.”

He turned a pale shade of gray. “Who told you about that?”

Azure grimaced. “Denise. She was trying to get me to leave the band.”

Mathias collapsed into the wing chair. “I know I should have told you, but it didn’t seem that important.”

“You didn’t think it was important to tell me you nearly married Jada?” she asked incredulously.

He seemed discomfited. “Well, there wasn’t really a good time.”

“What about the night she attacked me? You could have told me then that it wasn’t just because she thought I was taking over her spot in the group.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you.” Mathias ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not proud of that incident, and I didn’t want to think about it. I hurt her by leaving her at the altar, and she hurt me by aborting my baby. It’s still painful.”

Looking at him, Azure could really see him for the first time. An incredible sense of weightlessness filled her, and she found herself grinning. “You’re still in love with her.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s been over for too long.”

“Then why are you still visiting her? Why wouldn’t you tell me what had happened? As someone who’s in love, I recognize the signs, Mat. You love her, and I’ll bet she loves you too. You need to work things out with her before it’s too late.”

“I just don’t know.” He shook his head again.

She got to her feet. “I have to get going, but I hope you can work it out with Jada.”

“Are you looking for Dante?” asked Mathias.

Azure nodded, blushing a little. “Do you know where he is?”

“He took off for a few days. I don’t know where he is, but Mom might.”

She bent forward and kissed Mathias on the cheek. “Thanks. I hope we can still be friends.”

“Maybe,” said Mathias with difficulty. “Let’s just wait and see.”

“Of course.” She was surprised that his words didn’t hurt. She gave him a smile and went to find Ava.

She tracked her down to the garden and asked, “Do you know where Dante is? I have to find him as soon as possible.”

“He went to our cabin in Big Sur. I think he’s coming back in a couple of days.”

“I can’t wait that long.”

Ava nodded. “So, you’ve made your decision,” she said matter-of-factly.

“You knew?” She shifted with embarrassment.

She nodded again. “It was pretty obvious, Azure. For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision. Unless I miss my guess, Mat is still in love with Jada.”

“That’s what I thought.” Azure clasped her hands. “Can you give me directions to the cabin?”

“Sure.” Ava took the pad and pen Azure handed her from her purse and wrote the directions. “Here’s the phone number, in case you get lost,” she added.

“Thank you.” Azure hugged Ava. “I appreciate this more than you can know.”

“Drive carefully.”

“I will,” Azure promised. She went back into the house to phone for a taxi, but Mathias offered her a ride home.

They didn’t speak much, but when he dropped her off, with a slightly sad smile, he said, “Good luck.”

Azure hurried inside, not bothering to unpack her suitcase. She dropped it on the bed, grabbed her car keys from her purse, and hurried out to the Jag. She didn’t have her license yet, but it was worth the risk of getting a ticket to get to Dante.

Following Ava’s directions, Azure drove north up the coast for hours before she found the turn-off for the cabin. After driving another mile down a trail, she saw the log cabin in front of her.

It was three in the morning, with no lights showing in the cabin. Azure knocked forcefully on the wooden door for several minutes straight until it opened.

Dante stood there in just a pair of boxers, with his hair mussed and a frown on his face. When he saw Azure standing before him, his frown cleared, and his face became expressionless. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a bland voice.

“I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I’d stop by to say I love you,” said Azure breathlessly. She hurled herself against him, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing him. “I’ve been such a fool.”

“Mathias?” asked Dante uncertainly, even as he wrapped his arms around her.

Azure shook her head. “I don’t love him, and I never slept with him. I was just so stupid. I confused friendship and attraction with stronger feelings that aren’t really there on either side. I was also scared of how I feel with you and didn’t want to admit it, so I ended up using him so you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I’ll never hurt you.” Dante kissed her passionately. When he raised his head, he asked, “Are you sure this is what you want, honey? I can’t let you go again and expect to stay sane.”

“You are what I want,” Azure assured him. He pulled her into the cabin and closed the door behind her. “I’m just sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”

“I’d have waited forever, just so you could know for sure.”

“I do know now.” She kissed him deeply before lifting her head. “I love you, Dante.”

“I love you too,” Dante answered, kissing her again. With gusto, he swept her into his arms and to the bedroom, where he showed her how much he loved her in a thousand different ways.