When I was 18, I thought a confession like this was a show of bravery. That was what youth was all about. But now, I just wanted to slap myself in the face.
What bravery? What youth? Was I insane? Thankfully, I hadn't confessed yet just then. There was still a chance to take it back.
It didn't matter what had happened. Since I was given another chance, I wouldn't bother with Ethan any longer. I wasn't going to repeat the tragedy of my past life.
I inhaled deeply and put the mouthpiece up to my mouth. Earnestly, I swore, "Indeed, Grayson. I have reflected on my ways. I apologize for any inconvenience I have caused you!
"Please don't worry. I have made amends. There is no more puppy love within my heart. Only our studies and dreams remain."
Ethan was silent. He was clearly stunned. Shock was written all over his face. I turned to run off stage quickly. The crowd was stunned too.
"Evelyn's giving up on Ethan?"
"She's giving up? Ethan's turned down so many other girls. Only Evelyn wouldn't back down. She's still so passionate even after getting rejected so many times. She even made a bet with someone last month that she'd get into St. Nicholas University together with Ethan." "She must've bit off more than she could chew. She's giving up because she wants to save face, isn't she?"
"Ethan must be over the moon. He's finally rid of that pest."
Amongst all the chatter, the youngster watched as that figure ran off. His gaze was even colder. There wasn't even a hint of joy.
I ran back to the classroom. My heart was beating nonstop. I saw my face in the small mirror on my desk.
Though I was young at 25 years old, I had already lost the glint in my eye after three years of struggle after marriage and family matters.
My complexion was already pale due to not getting enough sleep often. Only foundation could cover up the thick dark circles around my eyes.
Yet, in the mirror was a young lady with fair skin. She had pearly teeth and luscious lips. She looked healthy and beautiful. Youthful energy radiated all over her body.
This 18-year-old me was the true me! It was then that I felt joy pool up within me. I was truly reborn.
"What're you looking at? Ethan's not going to look at you regardless of how pretty you are," someone scoffed and said.
"Everyone knows his childhood sweetheart is Leah!"
I came to my senses and saw some girls crowding around Leah. She seemed to look down awkwardly and didn't deny it.
I smiled at the girl who had spoken earlier. "Thanks for the compliment. I think I'm quite pretty too."
She looked upset. I was still angry seeing my love rival. Not to mention, Leah did all sorts of things to get on my nerves after I got married to Ethan in my past life.
She was always getting in the way of our relationship. She was the cause of our broken marriage. I did not like her. But now, I had no intention of being the protagonist of this drawn-out love triangle.
I said to Leah, "The college entrance exams are in three months. I just want to study harder. I hope things work out for you two."
I was honest, but Leah stared at me suspiciously. She chuckled and said, "Evelyn, I know that your bet to get into St. Nicholas University with Ethan was just a joke. Don't pressure yourself." There she goes again. I pursed my lips together.
Leah always seemed friendly on the outside. Yet, she knew just how to send people off the edge. Just as she said that the crowd of girls started mocking me.
"I hate people like that. The nerve of her to mess with someone else's relationship! To think she'd say something like getting into St. Nicholas University just to get Ethan's attention."
"With her results? It's a miracle if she can even get into St. Anderson University, not to mention St. Nicholas University."
"Tomorrow's the second trial exam. I can't wait for you to make a fool of yourself!"
In my previous life, I would've gotten upset over these words. I would've kept silent in fear of Ethan thinking I was picking on Leah. But now, it just seemed childish.
I stared at Leah and taunted, "Leah. I'm getting into St. Nicholas University. I'm done with Ethan, so quit playing tricks on me. Get your lackeys away from me, and we'll stay out of each other's way." Leah was stunned.
"Evelyn Wiley! What is the meaning of this?" one of the girls nearby shouted angrily.
"I said what I said." I shrugged and said, "I'm just earnestly wishing Leah and Ethan a happy future."
The two of them in my past life were going to abandon their morals and get back together anyway, so I might as well wish them well this time. I refused to be a part of their play this time.
Just as I said that, a bunch of people came in. Leading them was Ethan himself. Their expressions were weird. Clearly, they had overheard what I said.
Leah blushed slightly and said, "Ethan, Evelyn's just kidding."
Ethan's cold gaze turned to me. I could tell he was unhappy. But so what? I didn't care. We met eyes for a moment, and I went back to reading. Ethan's face darkened as he said menacingly, "Do you all not need to study?"
The crowd went silent and dispersed. Then, Ethan walked over slowly. His uniform's sleeve brushed past my desk as he sat down behind me.
Even as a teen, he had a commanding presence. I grasped my pen tightly. I was still feeling a bit unsteady.
Back then, I fought for the seat in front of Ethan. I wanted to get closer to him by asking for his help with my studies. Though he had a cold attitude, he didn't push me away.
I thought he was treating me differently, so I fell for him even further. In hindsight, Ethan must've been fed up with my pestering. He must've answered me because he had no choice.
I inhaled deeply and forced myself to continue doing my practice questions.
Thankfully, Ethan's family had many children. In my three years as a housewife, I helped them with homework often to please my in-laws. If not, I wouldn't have known how to do any of these questions upon rebirth.
A whole afternoon went by. I finished three sets of questions, and I regained my flow from back then. However, there were still a few questions I just couldn't solve.
Instinctively, I held my papers and turned to look at Ethan's dark eyes. I was silent. The air was tense.
Ethan's brow shifted. His expression was still cold. He picked up a pen and reached for the papers.
I quickly retracted my hand and handed it to his deskmate, Anthony Jackson. "Anthony, could you help take a look at these questions?"
The tension in the air lifted. Anthony pushed his glasses up in a daze. He asked silently, "You sure you're asking the right person?"
I pretended to be oblivious. "Sure am."
Anthony glanced at Ethan but hesitated to speak. Rather, the other boys who came to look for Ethan were bewildered. They spoke for him. "Evelyn, you're not asking Ethan?"
I smiled politely. "Grayson's helped me a lot. I don't want to trouble him anymore."
They were silent. Yes, I had just referred to him as Grayson. So what? The atmosphere was tense once again as if the temperature had dropped. "Come on. I'll treat you to ice cream after you explain it to me," I rushed Anthony.
Upon hearing that, he picked up the papers nervously.
With a clack, Ethan pursed his lips and dropped his pen on the table. He got up and left the classroom.