Chapter 28 WANT ME.
\~~~DAMIEN.
Her words hit me like a blow to the chest.
For a second, just one, couldn’t breathe.
Serena was warm against me, too warm. Her body fit against mine in a way that felt far too natural, and far too dangerous. Her lips were swollen and red from crying, from drinking, from kissing me, and her eyes… God, her eyes were dark and unfocused, but still full of want.
Raw, reckless want.
My hands pressed into the mattress on either side of her shoulders as I held myself up, every muscle in my body tight.
This was wrong, so wrong. Every shade of wrong, in fact.
And yet…
Her fingers slid up my chest slowly clumsily, like she was memorising me. She traced the hard lines beneath my shirt, her touch light but deliberate. When her hand reached my collar, she tugged slightly, dragging me closer.
“Serena,” I said again, my voice rough now. “You are not thinking straight.”
She laughed softly, her breath warm against my mouth. “I know exactly what I am thinking.”
Her fingers moved higher, brushing my jaw, then my beard. She touched it like she was curious, like she had been wanting to do this for a long time. Her thumb dragged slowly along my lower lip, and my control cracked just a little.
Fuck.
I shut my eyes briefly, forcing myself to breathe slowly and carefully.
“You are drunk,” I said firmly. “You don’t mean this.”
She shook her head, strands of hair falling into her face. “I do. I really do.”
Then she leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to my jaw.
Not my lips, my jaw and it was worse
My body reacted even before my mind could stop it, heat rushing through me, sharp and unwelcome and I clenched my teeth, my hands curling into fists.
She felt it. Of course she did.
Her lips curved into a slow smile. “See?” she whispered. “You want me too.”
I opened my eyes and looked at her properly then.
She was beautiful. There was no denying that. Her cheeks were flushed, her lashes clumped slightly from tears, her lips parted like she was waiting for me to claim them. She looked vulnerable and bold at the same time, a dangerous combination.
Every instinct in me screamed to give in.
To take her mouth, to pin her down properly and to show her just how much control I was capable of losing.
Her hand slid to my chest again, her palm flattening there, and her fingers splaying out like she belonged.
I caught her wrist gently but firmly.
“Stop,” I said.
She frowned, confusion flickering across her face. “Why?”
“Because you don’t know what you’re asking for.”
She leaned closer anyway, forehead brushing mine. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”
That nearly broke me.
I swallowed hard. “That is exactly where you are wrong.”
Her fingers slipped free of my grip and moved again, this time to my neck, her nails scraping lightly over my skin and my breath hitched despite myself.
“Ryan said you’d throw me away,” she murmured again, her voice quieter now. “Like I am nothing.”
My jaw tightened.
“That is not not true.”
“But what if it is?” she asked, eyes searching my face. “What if I am just… convenient?”
I hated that word on her lips.
She shifted her hips slightly, and the contact was enough to make my vision blur. I groaned under my breath, turning my head away from her before I did something irreversible.
“You are twisting things,” I said. “You are hurt. And drunk. And you’re letting that bastard get into your head.”
Her hand cupped my cheek, forcing me to look back at her. “Then prove him wrong.”
The way she said it soft, pleading, and daring nearly ended me.
She leaned in again, brushing her lips against mine, not a kiss this time, just a promise of one and my entire body went rigid.
I could smell her, feel her and feel how easily this could tip into something we couldn’t undo.
I grabbed her wrists and pinned them gently above her head, holding her still.
Her eyes widened slightly, her breath catching.
“Don’t,” I warned, voice low and dangerous. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” she whispered.
“Like you are offering yourself.”
She swallowed. “But I am.”
That was it.
I pulled back abruptly, rolling off her and sitting on the edge of the bed, running a hand down my face.
‘Control, Damien. Get a fucking grip.
I stood up, pacing once, then turned back to her.
She looked smaller now, confusion and disappointment written all over her face.
I knelt in front of her, lowering my voice. “Listen to me carefully.”
She blinked at me.
“I would never do this to you,” I said. “Not like this. Not when you are wasted and not thinking clearly.”
Her lips trembled. “So you don’t want me?”
I cupped her face, forcing her to look at me. “That is not what I said.”
“Then what are you saying?”
I leaned in close, my voice dropping. “I am saying when you’re sober, if you look me in the eye and say this again… I won’t stop myself.”
Her breath hitched.
“I will make you wish you never said it,” I continued quietly. “But tonight? Tonight, you are going to sleep.”
I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, pulling back before it became something else.
“Now lie down, Moonlight.”
She stared at me for a long moment, then her eyes slowly drifted shut as exhaustion finally won.
I stood there for a while after she fell asleep, staring at her, my body still tight with restraint.
God help me.
Because when she is sober…
She better not do this.
Oh, she better not.
Because, fuck, I don't know if I’ll be able to walk away.