Chapter 52 Fifty one

Chapter 52 Fifty one
Nora.

I wished I could just hide away in my room forever after that painfully embarrassing moment with Howard. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't be offended because he was merely speaking his truth, but the humiliation still stung. "Am I not enough?" I couldn't help but ask, searching his eyes for a glimmer of understanding.

Howard's gaze bore into mine, as if he could read me like an open book, which was the unfortunate truth whenever I was with him. "It's not about you, Nora," he replied solemnly, his words echoing in the air. I shook my head, unable to accept that explanation.

Cupping his face in my trembling palms, I implored, "Don't... don't say that," and then leaned in to kiss him. His lips met mine with a fervent response, and for a brief moment, our worries seemed to fade away. But as I drew back and peered into his softened gaze, doubts resurfaced.

"Let me love you," I whispered, my voice trembling with sincerity. "You deserve to be loved in every way." I leaned in again, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. We embraced deeply, but within my heart, an undercurrent of fear pulsed. What if Howard never loved me? What if he chose to leave? What if he found love, but not with me?

Howard's hands traced my waist, and I clung tightly to his neck. "Let's go inside," he urged, his desire evident between each fiery kiss. With little regard for the guards outside or the household staff within earshot, he guided me to his room, our lips never parting.

I tugged him toward the bed, eager to continue, but he suddenly halted, his gaze locked onto mine. "I don't want to hurt you anymore," he confessed, a hint of concern in his eyes.

I smiled, my arms still wrapped around his neck as I pulled him closer. "You're worth it," I assured him, and with that declaration, we succumbed once more to our passionate desires.



I found myself gazing at Howard in his bed while his eyes remained fixed on the ceiling. His concentration was intense, as if he were meticulously planning the activities of the coming day. Eventually, he released a heavy sigh and lowered his gaze to meet mine. No smile graced his lips, but one formed on mine. I had grown accustomed to this unloving side of Howard, especially after his clear declaration that he couldn't love. It should have sent me running, knowing how toxic it was, yet I chose to stay because I couldn't believe that a heart so alive couldn't love. He believed his heart was frozen, but I held onto the hope that I could melt it and mend it into something beautiful.

I wanted to be with Howard, not only because I loved him but because he deserved love after enduring the loss of his mother. He averted his eyes from me and resumed his contemplation of the ceiling.

"It's the festive season," he suddenly remarked, breaking the silence. I nodded, fully aware of the upcoming events that would fill our schedules. I felt a spark of excitement because these events were opportunities for our pack to meet others, strengthen bonds, and potentially unite mates. I recalled fondly how Lizzie and I used to attend these events solely to indulge in every dessert until we were nearly sick. I missed the carefree part of myself. Now, I could only smile, wave, and speak diplomatically, burdened by my roles as Luna, leader, and someday, possibly a mother. The uncertainty lingered, as I wasn't certain if Howard still desired children or if it was just with me that he harbored reservations.

"We should handle the Pack Bond event," he suggested, breaking into my thoughts. I nodded, allowing a smile to grace my lips. "I'll look into that tomorrow," I replied.

He heaved a deep sigh and pulled me closer to him. His face buried in my neck as he inhaled my scent. "Lavender," he whispered, trailing kisses from my neck down to my chest, which elicited a giggle from me.

But then he stopped, his gaze locking onto mine. "What?" I inquired, still grinning. He smirked playfully. "I'm hungry," he declared suddenly.

"We should make pancakes or waffles?" I proposed, enthusiasm bubbling in me. I squealed with delight and jumped out of bed to put on some clothes. The house was now silent, with the staff retired to their rooms. Together, we made our way to the kitchen, and I switched on the lights.

"How do you even make them?" Howard asked, looking rather clueless. "All I remember about my mother's pancakes is flour, vanilla flavor, and the toppings, mostly berries," he added with a smile.

I beamed with happiness and opened the pantry. "Well, tonight's your lucky night because I'm going to teach you how to make pancakes," I announced, gathering the ingredients from both the pantry and the fridge. "I'd like mine with bananas," he requested, to which I readily agreed.

I guided him through the process of creating the batter while sharing a story about my first pancake-making experience. "They were really that bad?" he asked with a smile that felt like a symphony of laughter. I couldn't help but nod, relishing the fact that he enjoyed my story. He chuckled softly and shook his head.

"I've only come into the kitchen to get a drink, that's all," he admitted.

Observing him intently as he mixed the batter, I asked, "So, you can't cook?" He nodded nonchalantly. I watched him carefully as he continued, seemingly focused on preventing any spills. "Do you want to learn how to cook?" I inquired.

He chuckled at the idea. "Of course, if you'll take my place as the Alpha," he replied sarcastically. I rolled my eyes with a smile. "It's not that hard," I challenged, and he paused, giving me an audacious glance. "Really?" he responded. "It's just attending meetings after meetings, then ordering the guards and omegas to do what you want."

His expression turned playful as he approached me, pushing me against the counter and leaning in close. "What are you doing?" he asked with a sly smirk, catching me off guard.

I met his gaze with a smile of my own. "I'm just saying... it's the same thing I do," I remarked teasingly.

He scoffed and moved back. "Tomorrow," he declared. "Tomorrow, you're going to be the Alpha of Direwood for the entire day." My heart leaped with excitement at the prospect. "It's going to be so easy," I declared confidently.

"Oh, I can't wait to see your work tomorrow. It's Wednesday, my busiest day of the week. Good luck with the pack board meeting," he teased, his tone light and amused. I shrugged it off with a grin, feeling an unexpected surge of happiness. "Challenge accepted," I replied.

He turned on the gas stove, and I proceeded to show him the art of making pancakes.

As Howard finally succeeded in making a pancake, a glimmer of pride shone in his eyes. In that fleeting moment, I glimpsed Scott within him. While he may not be Scott's biological father, being his uncle was every bit as meaningful.

"You did it!" I cheered, sharing in his sense of accomplishment. He chuckled modestly, and we went on to complete the batch of pancakes together. I allowed him to take charge of decorating them with whipped cream and his preferred toppings. We settled at the kitchen island and savored our midnight pancakes. It was a simple joy, yet it was all I could ask for, all I could hope for.

My only wish was that we could do this more often, but with Howard, one couldn't predict when he might wake up one day and choose not to speak to me for an entire week. So, I watched him eat with a smile, cherishing these moments.

"These are really good," he commented between bites. "Cooking is easy," he added with pride, causing me to roll my eyes. A challenge suddenly popped into my mind. "How about we switch roles? You cook, and I'll lead the pack," I proposed.

He chuckled, shaking his head, and set his fork down on the plate. "I'd have to be there to watch while you struggle, remember?" He retorted with amusement.

"Please!" I scoffed, dismissing his doubts. "You seem to have a lot to say about this, huh? Quite confident," I remarked, a smirk playing on my lips. "The worst that could happen is the pack asking me to run for the Alpha throne. Not that I'd want to take your position," I added, my chest swelling with pride.

His lips parted in amusement, and he scoffed at my self-assuredness.


I contemplated dressing up in a suit akin to Howard's attire, but the mere thought of it was amusing, and I was sure he'd see right through my attempt to mimic him. So, I opted for my usual floral dress paired with matching one-inch heels. I applied light makeup and stepped out of my room. Despite being accustomed to it, I couldn't shake the nervousness that settled in my stomach at the prospect of sitting before dozens of alphas and men with lofty titles. The thought of addressing them, especially those who were old enough to be my parents, made me even more anxious.

I made my way to Howard's room, finding him dressed in a plain T-shirt and jeans. My brow arched in curiosity, and he simply shrugged. "It's my day off," he nonchalantly stated, eliciting an eye roll from me along with a smile. "Very funny," I retorted, emphasizing the sarcasm in his words. He chuckled and shrugged once more. "Oh, this is going to be fun," he remarked, encircling me with his arms and pulling me closer. "Finally, I'll have time to ride a horse, maybe go for a swim, and play some basketball. I might even catch a nap."

I swallowed hard, though I didn't show him that his proclamation about me becoming alpha for the day had me feeling fearful. I had honestly believed it was a joke this morning when he woke me up early to remind me of my responsibilities.

"Whatever, I have a pack to protect and run," I declared proudly, though his deep laughter rumbled in response. I loved the sound of his laughter; it was a personal turn-on for me.

"We should get going then," he suggested, checking his wristwatch. "You have thirty minutes left to either surrender or face the Elders and Alphas waiting for your attention," he added, and I scoffed.

"Come on," I urged, taking his hand. We descended the stairs, and I couldn't muster an appetite for breakfast. "Becoming the Alpha, huh?" he teased, a habit he picked up due to his typically hectic mornings. 

We exited the house, and the cars were already prepared. I climbed into the car, feeling an unusual excitement as if it were my first time riding with Howard. He pulled me closer in the backseat, planting a kiss on my neck. "Hey," I mumbled, gently restraining his roaming hands. "What are you doing?" I queried as he breathed heavily. He proceeded to kiss my cheeks and then my lips, and I surrendered to the intoxicating moment. A soft moan escaped my lips as I straddled Howard in the car. 

He wrapped his arms around me, drawing me nearer. I felt his hands on my breasts, his touch gentle yet tantalizing, causing more moans to escape my lips. I tried to keep quiet, mindful of the driver, but Howard's touch made it increasingly difficult. Our tongues danced fervently, further igniting our passion. I ran my fingers through his hair, gently nipping at his lower lip.

When the car finally came to a stop, I reluctantly pulled away, eliciting a low growl from Howard. "I didn't ask you to stop kissing me," he complained. I bit my lower lip, smiling, though a quick glance outside revealed that we had arrived and the driver had stepped out. "They can wait," he insisted, pulling me into another passionate kiss. We kissed until my lips felt red and numb. 

"We really have to go now," I insisted, finally managing to disentangle myself from his embrace. He shrugged. "It's not like I have anything to do today," he quipped. I scoffed at his audaciousness. "You tricked me," I playfully accused, giving his chest a light smack. He laughed, and together, we exited the car. I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed at the thought of his guards knowing what had transpired inside the car and why we had taken so long to emerge.

Alex awaited us out front and guided us into Howard's office while explaining the task for the day. "Some Alphas are demanding that we cancel all events for the year because they don't want outsiders in their pack. Others fear inviting outsiders as a security threat," Alex elucidated.

I couldn't help but interject, defending the importance of these annual events. "How? Those events are genuinely crucial; they bring us together. Thousands of werewolves have found their mates at these gatherings," I argued, and Howard placed a supportive hand on my back, which made me smile with pride. 

As we rounded a corner and entered Howard's office, he urged me to sit in his chair, which I did. Alex chuckled, questioning our resolve, "You're really going through with this?" I nonchalantly shrugged, feigning indifference, but beneath the surface, I was panicking, realizing that this might be more challenging than I initially thought. The last thing I wanted was a room full of Alphas engaged in a heated argument.

"We still have twelve minutes; you can back down if you want," Howard teased, and I rolled my eyes, retorting, "Shush! I'm already seated." Howard's mouth curled with amusement, and he rewarded me with an impressive smile. 

Meanwhile, Alex briefed me on what to do during the meeting, while Howard pretended to be clueless. Then, he stood up, and I feared he might leave us.

"Well, you two have fun," Howard said, heading for the door. I couldn't help but blurt out, fearful of being left alone, "You're leaving me?" He pretended not to understand what I meant, replying, "You have a meeting to attend. I'm off to play basketball." I pouted, giving him a sad expression, but he remained unfazed. "Fine! Go. I don't need you," I declared, and he shrugged before exiting the room.

Alex observed me curiously. "You really thought he'd leave? Howard can't miss that board meeting; he's too protective of this pack," he reassured me. However, Howard's unpredictable nature made me hesitate to say anything. I just sighed and settled back into the chair. Just as Alex was about to speak again, a knock on Howard's office door interrupted us. Alex granted permission, and the intruder walked in.

I rose to my feet briskly, a look of astonishment and embarrassment crossing my face. "Miles?" I exclaimed, feeling both shocked and embarrassed because I was supposed to be with him this morning, but I had completely forgotten.

"Hey, am I interrupting something?" Miles asked, casting an inquisitive glance at both Alex and me.

"No, not at all. I'll leave you two alone for a minute," Alex said, exiting the room. Miles looked at me with a mix of emotions and didn't waste any time getting straight to the point. “Miles… I’m sorry… I…”

"You forgot I was being discharged today?" He inquired, clearly annoyed, and rightfully so. I had promised to be by his side when he woke up, but I wasn't. Instead, I was with Howard, the man who had told me he would never love me, yet I stayed by his side.