Chapter 51 Fifty

Chapter 51 Fifty

Howard.

"Why did he suddenly drop all charges?" I questioned casually, reclining in my father's opulent living room. The reason for my presence here was solely because my father had been incessantly pestering me to meet with him regarding Herman, Miles' father. Herman had been unleashing a torrent of threats upon our pack, forcing me to confront him about the litany of crimes he'd committed. He was conspicuously absent from council board meetings, his pack members were growing increasingly disgruntled with his leadership, and it was abundantly clear that he was unfit to lead.

"He's nothing but a weak, spineless cur," my father snorted derisively, his words eliciting a laugh from me. "That man has singlehandedly decimated the Greenbell pack. He's utterly unsuitable, and we must address this issue. But instead of laying low and attempting to make amends, he's seeking agreements to quell the situation," my father elaborated.

I raised an eyebrow, seeking more details. "And what was your response?" I inquired. My father merely shrugged, a noncommittal gesture that grated on my patience. "I believe we should grant him another chance," he ventured.

My response was immediate and unwavering. "Herman belongs behind bars. I don't trust him, not one bit. He's a troublemaker through and through," I declared resolutely.

"I promised Nora I would investigate and bring him in for questioning," my father began, trying to temper my resolve.

"Howard," he began anew, pouring two glasses of whiskey before approaching me with one in hand. He handed it to me and attempted to divert the conversation. "You should focus on one matter at a time. It's the festive season, start organizing the events that are scheduled and put these matters aside," he urged.

I gazed at my father incredulously, shaking my head. "If you weren't my father, I would have had you detained for questioning by now," I retorted vehemently. "It seems as though you're somehow connected to the dirty work of every pack - Gray, Herman, all of them." My father responded to my accusation with a serene smile, taking a sip of his whiskey. I watched him closely, waiting for an answer.

"When do you intend to release Gray's people? He's growing increasingly agitated. He's compensated the pack for his actions, what more do you want?" I snapped, my anger simmering just below the surface. I couldn't hold back my frustration any longer, slamming my glass of whiskey onto the center table and storming out of the house.

The cool night breeze brushed against my face as I made my way off my father's property and headed to the bar. The bar was my refuge, a place I frequented when I needed to drown out the world or vent my frustrations. Tonight, I had no particular reason to be here, other than the fact that Nora was at the hospital with Miles, a situation that irked me to no end. Though I wasn't in love with Nora, I had vowed to her that I wouldn't cause any more disturbances regarding Miles until he recovered. Despite my resentment, I couldn't contest her decision to be with him.

It gnawed at me to see the unmistakable love in Miles' eyes when he looked at Nora, a love that had initially triggered my reaction. My lack of romantic affection for Nora didn't negate my responsibility to protect her as my wife and the Luna of my pack. I strode into the bar, unfazed by the mixed reactions of the patrons. Some left upon my arrival, while others remained, displaying varying degrees of courage. I paid them no mind; this wasn't my personal establishment, and I couldn't expel anyone without just cause.

I found myself perched at the bar, seeking solace in a drink ordered from the bartender. While waiting for my libation, a presence settled beside me, yet I paid it no heed until it managed to capture my attention. 

"It amazes me that our Alpha can multitask," the stranger remarked, drawing my gaze. His face held an unfamiliar familiarity, like a fleeting memory I couldn't quite grasp. Perhaps I'd crossed paths with him once or twice, but his identity remained elusive. He wore a smile, but I didn't return the gesture; I wasn't one to casually offer smiles to strangers, or even on joyous occasions for that matter.

"Zack... I just moved here about two weeks ago. I'm Alex's cousin," he introduced himself, and with those words, the puzzle pieces fell into place. I remembered the connection—Alex had mentioned his cousin's impending arrival.

"Oh yes, Alex mentioned that," I replied with a casual shrug, clearly not in the mood for prolonged conversation.

"I was in your office a few days ago, applying for a job," he continued, seemingly untroubled by my lapse in memory. That day, my thoughts had been consumed by Nora, and everything else had blurred into the background.

"Ah, my apologies for not recalling that. I trust Alex informed you about the job you secured?" I inquired, taking a sip of the drink that had just materialized before me. Its fiery burn as it coursed down my throat was exactly to my liking.

Zack nodded appreciatively. "Thank you for welcoming me into your pack and providing me with this opportunity. I won't disappoint," he assured me.

"You'd better not," I mumbled, to which he responded with a chuckle.

"Would you mind sharing where you came from again?" I asked, realizing that he had already divulged this information, which had promptly slipped my mind.

"Wisconsin, where I completed college," he replied. I gazed at him, a faint amusement tugging at my lips. "You attended college with humans?" I inquired, still amused by the prospect. I had been homeschooled throughout my life, later opting for open university courses to avoid mingling with humans. While I held no disdain for them, I preferred to steer clear of their chaotic world.

Zack nodded proudly. "They're not as bad as they may appear," he remarked.

"Then why are you here?" I couldn't resist asking.

He shrugged, hesitating before responding. "Did you do something?" I pressed, curiosity getting the better of me.

Zack gave me a distant look before casting his gaze down to his drink. "My roommate became suspicious, so I moved out of our shared apartment. She confronted me and issued threats. I had no choice but to leave," he explained.

"She?" I interjected with a laugh. Zack mustered a wry smile and confirmed, "Yes, she. Anyways, she cornered me, threatened me, and the next thing I knew, I had to vacate. I called Alex, and he assured me that you're a decent guy who'd take me in."

I smiled and nodded in understanding. "Which pack were you part of before?" I inquired.

"Hillfield pack. Ever heard of it? We were attacked, lost everything. Everyone scattered, and..." Zack trailed off, his voice heavy with sorrow.

"Your parents?" I gently probed.

In response, Zack offered a pained smile, the kind that weighed heavily on my heart, conveying a truth that needed no words.

"I'm sorry," I managed to murmur, my sympathy sincere.

We fell into a companionable silence, our glasses clinking softly as we savored our drinks. The quietude, punctuated by the occasional murmur of other patrons, felt oddly comforting, two men at the bar, each immersed in contemplation of their own lives.

When the oppressive silence had stretched on long enough, I turned my gaze to Zack, who was engrossed in his drink. As our eyes met, he regarded me with a quizzical expression.

"What did you mean by 'I can multitask'? You've only been here for less than two weeks," I inquired, somewhat perplexed. From my perspective, I diligently fulfilled my alpha duties, no more and no less.

Zack chuckled, nodding knowingly. "Alex tends to talk a lot," he remarked, a sentiment I couldn't help but concur with. "And I was present when the thing with your wife's brother or cousin happened?" he added, seeming slightly puzzled about Miles' precise relationship to Nora.

"Exactly... I don't even know who the hell he is. All I know is I don't trust him or his father," I replied, my voice laced with a hint of frustration as I downed the remainder of my drink. The complexities of Miles' connection to Nora remained a baffling enigma.

"But she is lucky to have you," Zack remarked, turning his gaze toward me. I averted my eyes, scoffing at the sentiment. If Zack only knew the extent of my mistreatment of Nora, he might have been tempted to punch me in the throat. 

Guilt for my actions had no place in my heart; I scarcely cared about how she felt. At times, I might have acknowledged a hint of harshness in my treatment, but the overwhelming majority of the time, I was indifferent to her emotions.

"The pack is also lucky to have you. You protect your members with every fiber of your being. I haven't seen such an active Alpha in a while, not even in my previous pack. Maybe that's why we were attacked," Zack mused, his voice heavy with regret. His words hung in the air, lingering for a moment as I contemplated them. The attack had occurred two months ago, and all I had done was boast about retaliating. I felt like a weak, impotent alpha for failing to fulfill my promise of protecting my pack. I should have been capable of shielding them from any threat, yet I had faltered in that crucial aspect.

"I know about the attack, don't beat yourself up over it," Zack reassured me, his intentions kind-hearted. However, his words had the opposite effect. I despised it when people saw goodness in me and assumed they could become a part of my life. It was akin to my situation with Nora—she was everywhere, constantly making me feel like I was the best of the best and assuming that I would welcome her into my life. I let out a sigh and rose to my feet, settling our tab.

"Don't be late for work tomorrow. I don't tolerate tardiness," I advised, leaving him behind as I stepped out of the bar. The night air greeted me, and I checked the time—it was only eleven in the evening. I proceeded along the sidewalk, heading in the direction of my residence. 

During my walk, I passed by my other home, the one Scott and Karen had once inhabited. A pang of sorrow stabbed at my chest, causing me to take a deep breath. I tore my gaze away from the now-empty house that had been brimming with memories of Scott and me. 

I still couldn't fathom that I had spent an entire month without seeing him. The realization that the little boy I had once believed was my son was actually my cousins', whom I had resented so much, gnawed at my heart.

I clenched my hands into fists, shoving them into my jeans pockets, struggling to regain my composure. Vulnerability washed over me, a feeling I loathed. It made me feel weak, especially when coupled with solitude. Moments like this made me resent life itself and the idea of being tethered to a loved one. 

Right now, I yearned for company, but the company I craved was conspicuously absent—Nora. It was precisely why I preferred a solitary existence, free from the disappointment of being denied my desires.

As I rounded the corner toward my house, an unexpected sight greeted me. Someone was sitting on the porch of the front house. My furrowed brows relaxed slightly upon recognizing her. She offered a warm smile, but I didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"Hey," she greeted, even though my expression clearly conveyed that I wasn't in the mood for conversation.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. She was supposed to be at the hospital, and despite my happiness at seeing her, I couldn't help but wonder why she was at home instead.

She shrugged her shoulders, her gaze drifting to the side. "There are enough nurses to look after him for the night," she explained.

I managed a small smile and joined her on the porch. Together, we allowed the cold breeze and silence to envelop us. I surveyed the premises, noting the vigilant guards securing the area. I let out a sigh, and Nora's gaze turned to me.

I avoided her eye contact, not wanting to show my vulnerability. Her fingers gently caressed the side of my face, eliciting a reaction from me. I reluctantly met her gaze, trying to appear annoyed, but my face betrayed my true emotions.

"Can I ask you something?" she inquired, her eyes fixed on me. The admiration in her gaze was unmistakable.

"What are we?" she pressed, and I felt my throat go dry. Nora's question caught me off guard, and I hesitated. I didn't have an answer, and I didn't want to admit that I didn't know. What I did know was that I couldn't allow myself to love her.

"Other than being married. What exactly are we, Howard? Please..." her plea left me feeling vulnerable, and I struggled to find the right words.

"Nora..." I began, my words faltering. Her eyes shimmered with hope that I couldn't fulfill.

"Talk to me. Say anything," she implored, her fingers still caressing my cheek. I held her hand to stop her from caressing me further, resenting how her touch affected me. The last thing I wanted was to get entangled in something I couldn't control.

"You need to understand that I'm damaged. I get triggered easily. There are nights when I struggle with things. There are nights when I'm lying in bed and won't talk to anyone. I'll shut you out. I won't be able to trust you for a while, because everyone has always left, cheated, or chosen someone else. I'm a lot, I know this," I confessed, my voice filled with a sense of resignation.

"So before you think I'm always happy, that I'll always be positive, that I'll always be smiling... know the reality before you get involved. Don't enter my life if you can't handle it. Lastly, don't you dare touch my heart if you aren't ready for that," I warned, my gaze unwavering.

I saw fear and confusion in her eyes, but I didn't care. I had finally laid bare the truth to her. I couldn't be what she wanted me to be, and she needed to accept that or make a choice.