Chapter 8

(***Aaron***)

Taking a cold shower was the first thing I did when I got home last night. It didn’t work the way I wanted it to because images of Rylan’s naked body kept dancing through my head. The way she looked with her skin flushed with the pleasure I was giving her. The way her mouth opened, but no sound came out as she fisted her hands in my hair.

For the first time in years, I took my cock in hand and masturbated to those images. I felt like I did that night when I walked away from her at that bar. Frustrated and foolish. I was stroking myself when I could have been fucking her.

I know I shouldn’t have left the way I did last night, but after she said what happened was a mistake and wouldn’t happen again, I got a little frustrated. Not at her, but at myself. She is right about it being a mistake, but not in the way she meant it. It was too soon after what happened to her earlier in the day.

It was also too soon for me. I let things go too far, but my goodness, it was worth it. Next time, I will make sure we are both ready, and I will make sure it lasts all night. Now all I need to do is make sure that she and I are finally on the same page.

The dinner meeting with my family will be an important step. I am anxious to hear what my parents have to say about all of it. So far, I have been able to keep most of my issues hidden from them. They have seen some of the scars on my body, but only Quinn has really seen those on my soul.

My brother understands, and it is a struggle we will both live with for the rest of our lives. I am happy that his life is now stable and he has the family he always wanted. Now it is my chance to chase that same dream.

Maybe not the big ass house and kids running around everywhere, but the beautiful wife and happy life. That is something I have not let myself think too much about over the years. If I am being honest with myself, it is something I never really thought I wanted.

Seeing Quinn happy with Annora, expecting another baby, and building the life of their dreams has kind of made me start thinking of a possible future for me. The only woman I can see myself with in the future is Rylan. I have a feeling that it may be an uphill battle to make that happen now.

"Well, there you are. I wasn’t sure that you would be in today.”

Quinn’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I look at my watch and realize that I have been lost in my thoughts for the last hour. I shake my head, then look up at him.

“Thanks for the bailout last night. I kind of lost it on that guy.” I shrug my shoulders as he sits down.

“No problem. The hospital has a shitstorm on its hands right now because of it, but thankfully, what happened in that storage room was caught on camera. Heath will be going to jail. He is also insisting on pressing assault charges against you.”

That I figured. I nearly killed the man. His face was a bloody mess when I stopped punching him,

“I already called Vincent, and he will be here later today to talk to you.” Quinn tells me.

“Thanks. I was going to call him, but now I have one less thing to worry about.”

“I also talked to Gayle on my way in, and the board agreed that Rylan should take the rest of the week off. She said she would call her after we ended our call.”

Oh. Well, that is a great idea, and I bet she is pissed.

“That is probably for the best. She didn’t have the best night. A few days off could do her some good.”

Quinn raises an eyebrow at me after I say this.

“I went to her place instead of going home after you bailed me out. She wasn’t doing well.”

“I would imagine the entire incident is reminding her of Paulson and the fact that he is running free right now.”

“She has a gun taped to the underside of her kitchen counter. I can only imagine how many more she has hidden around her house. Not to mention all the knives she probably has hidden around the house as well.”

Quinn lets out a low whistle, then nods his head. “Think she would agree to stay at my place? Annie would be happy to have her.”

I shake my head. “I may have gone about things wrong last night with her. I told her that either I was staying there with her or she was coming home with me. I ended up going home alone.”

That was only after what I did to her on the couch, but there is no way I am telling Quin about that right now.

“She is pretty independent. I do like that she is in a gated community with roaming security patrols.” Quinn said as he stood up. “I am going to the hospital for Annie’s checkup. We may get to find out the gender of the baby today.”

He looks so excited that I can’t help but smile at him.

“What are you hoping for? Boy or girl?”

“A girl, but at this point, as long as he or she is healthy, I am all good.”

"Well, get out of here then. Tell Annie that I said hello and that I will see you both on Friday. You are coming over, right?”

Quinn nods his head. “I will be there while you talk to your parents.”

“Thank you.”

“Always.” With that, he nods again and walks out of my office.

Thankfully, the rest of my day is filled with meetings and phone calls, so I don’t have time to dwell on my nonexistent relationship status with Rylan. By the time I leave the office, I am mentally exhausted. I decided to head straight home instead of going clubbing like I normally would.

There was a large crate waiting for me by the gate. I smile when I see who the sender is. I leave it there, then go into the house to get changed out of my suit and into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I make a turkey sandwich and then make my way back to the garage to grab a dolly to go get the crate.

After bringing it into the garage and grabbing a crowbar out of my tool cabinet, I get to work opening the crate. Twenty minutes later, the floor around the crate is covered in packing peanuts and foam barriers. I prop the painting of myself up against the side of the crate.

I pull out my phone to snap a picture of the painting and then send it to Charlie. I don’t wait for her response because of the time zone difference. With nothing left to do, I grab the painting and carry it into the house.

I take it upstairs to my storage room, cover it with a sheet, then head to my bathroom to take a much-needed shower. By the time I lay down in bed, I fall asleep fairly quickly, only to wake up a few hours later covered in sweat and my heart racing.

Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I feel tears slip down my cheeks. I had one of the three nightmares that always plagued my dreams. The mother and daughter that I tried to save that got caught in the crossfire.

No matter how hard I tried, that day is forever etched in my soul. All the things I could have and should have done differently. The sound of my ragged breathing echoes through my room as I sit in the middle of my bed with my knees drawn up to my chest.

I have no idea how long I sat like that, but finally I threw the covers off me and got out of bed. Sleep is not going to happen again tonight, so I might as well do something, anything other than sit there and dwell on things I can never change.

After taking a shower, I change into one of my clubbing suits, grab my keys off the kitchen table, and then head to the garage. An hour later, I am sitting in my VIP booth at my favorite club, The Viper. The loud music is just what I need to drown out my dark thoughts.

Soon I let the little redhead that snuck into my booth while I was in the restroom lead me out onto the dance floor. Her lithe body pressed provocatively against mine as we danced would normally have me aching to take her to a private room so we could do another type of dancing.

Surprisingly, she was doing nothing for me. All I kept seeing as I danced was the sweat on Rylan’s face as she moaned my name. I could hear her moans in my head to the beat of the music.

When my dance partner tried to drag me up the stairs to the private rooms, I peeled my hand out of hers and left her there with her mouth hanging open in shock as I walked away from her and out of the club.

My first thought was to drive straight to Rylan’s house to maybe work out some of the tension between us. I changed my mind when I was halfway there. Space is what we both need after what happened between us last night. So, I turn my car around and head back home.

I pull into my driveway and am very surprised to see my parents leaning against their car waiting for me. They are three days early. They both look exhausted.

“What are you guys doing here so early? I thought you weren’t coming in until Friday morning.” I ask as I get out of the car.

“Quinn called us this afternoon and said that he and Annora had a surprise for us. They told her parents already but wanted to wait until they saw us on Friday to tell us. So, we came early. Your mother figured it would be nice to have more time with you guys.” My father says this as I walk over to them.

The surprise must be related to the gender of Quinn and Annora’s baby. That will make my mother want to spend most of her time at their place with Annora. I am alright with that since I am not really ready to talk to them about my issues.

"Well, then let's get inside so you two can get some sleep.”

I pray as I walk them inside that the nightmares don’t come back tonight. That is the last thing I need to happen. It would be the first time either of my parents got to witness the aftermath of one of my episodes after a nightmare.

Also, since they are here early, I might as well move dinner up to tomorrow night instead of Friday. I will call Quinn and Rylan in the morning to ask them if they can both come over then. Maybe this will work out better than I planned because the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can start the healing process with Dr. West.

"Goodnight, mom and dad,” I called to them as I headed to my room.

Once in my room, I change the sheets, then climb into bed for the second time tonight. It is close to two in the morning, and I know that I may not get a lot of sleep, but I need to try. If everyone is available tomorrow night, I will need all the sleep I can get for the emotional roller coaster to come.

Hopefully, they will handle what I have to tell them better than I think they will. I am worried about my mother’s reaction far more than I am about my father’s. I think he already knows about some of what I deal with because Quinn went through similar things.

With luck, tomorrow won’t be as dramatic as I imagine.

**********

The smell of bacon wakes me up the next morning, and I remember that my mother is here. I glance over at the clock on my bedside table and see that it is now eight in the morning. Breakfast with my parents is a good way to start the day.

I shower, then get dressed in a pair of old faded jeans and a black t-shirt. My hair has grown out just above my ears, and I think it is time for a haircut. That is for another day, so I just brush it and then finger-comb some gel through it to give it that windy, tousled look.

I can hear my parents talking as I walk down the hall towards the kitchen. My mom is asking if my dad has any idea what I want to tell them on Friday. I can imagine how curious and worried they are, and I know I could just tell them now, but I want to wait until later tonight.

I need Quinn there with me for moral support. I need Rylan there, so she knows I am serious about getting the help I need. With the two of them there, I will be able to face my parents.

“Good morning, you two,” I say loudly as I enter the kitchen.

Mom turns to look at me, then points at a plate on the kitchen island. It is piled high with bacon, sausage, and fat, fluffy pancakes. She has been busy this morning, and I will eat it all to make her happy.

I take a seat at the counter, then grab the syrup. “What time did you get up? Did you even sleep last night?” I ask her.

“We got enough sleep. Now eat up, because after breakfast you are taking me to the market. I can tell you are single just by looking in your fridge.”

That makes me laugh, but I do as she says.

Two hours later, I was helping my mother unload groceries. She insisted on cooking dinner tonight instead of having it catered. Then she made it a point to stock my kitchen full of food for me, at my expense, of course. According to her, it was her way of making sure I had enough food to eat.

Now I will have to start cooking food for myself rather than ordering delivery. Not that it is a big deal. Thanks to my mother, I know how to cook. She started teaching me how to cook when I was a kid and added Quinn to the mix when he became an almost permanent fixture in our home.

Ladies love a man who can cook.

Maybe I can use that to my advantage with Rylan?