Chapter 7

(***Rylan***)

The look on Aaron’s face after I told him that there would be no repeats of what happened between us tonight made my chest constrict painfully. He looks sad and angry at the same time. The sadness lingered as he searched my face to be sure I meant what I said.

I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I very much enjoyed what happened, but if I am going to try to move on with my life, then things like that can never happen again. No matter how much I want them too, he had his chance. There were plenty of them, in fact, but he pushed me away every time.

I am done hoping he will change his mind.

“So, in the morning, I want you gone. We will see each other at social functions with our friends, but that is all there is between us from here on out.” I almost sound like I mean that too. Almost.

Something shifts in his eyes, but he nods his head. Ok, that was easier than I thought it would be to get him on the same page as I am. Part of me is sad that he is giving up so easily, while the other part is relieved that he isn’t fighting me on this.

“Can I ask you a question?” He asks quietly.

I frown at him but nod my head. What is on his mind? I am almost afraid to hear what he will ask me.

“In all the years we have known each other, there has been a push-pull relationship happening between us. You pull me towards you while I push you away. I know why we have both done those things, yet you haven’t listened to me at all.”

I blink at him and frown. I have listened to him. Haven’t I?

“Do you remember what I said to you at that damn charity auction? I said it to you again in France.”

He told me that he doesn’t feel worthy of me and that he wants to work on himself before he and I can move forward. Then, in France, after I shamelessly propositioned him with sex, he walked away. That hurt more than I thought it would.

“Yes, I remember what you said.”

"Now, do you remember what you told me?” He tilts his head to the side. “That you would wait until I came to you to tell you I was ready to move forward?”

"Yes, but then you walked away from me in France.”

He stands up off his stool, then leaves the kitchen. When he comes back, he has his duffle bag in one hand and his car keys in the other. I thought he was staying here tonight. Why is he leaving?

Wait, this is what I wanted. Isn’t it? Yes, it is, so why do I feel so sad at the thought of him leaving me alone?

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“I thought you wanted to stay here to protect me from Paulson.”

He lets out a laugh, then walks away. I rush out of the kitchen and follow him to the front door. His shoulders are hunched over as he walks down the hall to the door. What the fuck is going on here?

“You know what is funny about all this, whatever it is, between us?” He asks as he opens the door.

“Aaron, I never said you had to leave tonight. All I was doing was setting a boundary between us so no more misunderstandings happened.”

“Yet, one giant misunderstanding has happened. What is funny about all of this is that I wasn’t ready to give you what you wanted, and now that I am, you don’t want it. Goodnight Rylan.”

I watch in stunned silence as he walks out the door and closes it behind him with a soft click. After locking the door, I numbly walked to my bedroom. What the fuck just happened?

I contemplated what happened while I waited for my pizza to be delivered. After tipping the delivery driver well, I grab a slice from the container and shove the box in my refrigerator before heading back to my room. Aaron’s words circle around in my head as I do.

He is ready.

What happened while he was gone to make him ready for a relationship? Is that even something I want from him anymore? I told myself that moving on from Aaron Carter was the best thing to do for my sanity and my heart.

Now here he is giving me those puppy dog eyes and multiple orgasms.

Holy shit, the way he worked me with his tongue makes me squirm as I sit at the end of my bed. He was so gentle with me when we kissed. It was so different from all our past kisses. It seemed like he didn’t want to break me.

Well fuck.

What the heck am I going to do with this revelation? This shifting of our dynamic? Can I trust him with my heart, like I have always wanted to?

That is something I need to think about, but for now, it is time to get some sleep. I stand up to pull the covers down and step on something sharp at the foot of the bed. After jerking my foot up off the floor, I look for whatever it was that I stepped on.

There on the fuzzy green carpet is a diamond-studded tie pin. It must have fallen off when Aaron changed his clothes earlier. I pick it up and watch it sparkle in the light of my room.

Well, now I have something of his that he will either come back to my house to get or I will have to track him down to return it. This could be a good excuse to talk to him about what he said before he left. No, wait, I can just return it to him on Friday during the dinner he is having with everyone.

Yes, that will work. It will also give me time to figure out what I want to do. I am more confused about what I want from him than I have ever been since we met. It scares me because I have been so sure of what I wanted in the past.

I know I told him that I was willing to wait until he was ready, but after he walked away in France, I was hurt by his rejection. Tonight, for the first time since that night, I realized something important, and now I feel like an asshole. I told him that I would wait, but the way I behaved toward him that day put more pressure on him.

I was acting like a clingy stalker.

All I was thinking about was the way he kept turning me away and hurting my feelings. Had I just backed off like I should have, then maybe things would have been different. I want things to be better between us.

Aaron cares about me, and he showed that tonight by coming here after he was released from the police station. He came to me to make sure I was okay and to protect me. The way he held me in the shower made my heart flop in my chest. He held me not just for me but to assure himself that I was fine.

I crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep because I have been a fool for the last several months. One thing is crystal clear to me now: Aaron cares about me more than as a friend, and he is ready to move forward. I just hope what I said tonight doesn’t make him change his mind.

**********

The next morning, as I am getting ready for work, Gayle, the hospital director, calls me to tell me to take the rest of the week off. She informed me that since there was a security camera in the storage room, what happened yesterday was all caught on film. Heath is now in police custody.

I told her that I was fine to come into work, but she held firm and told me that it was not a request but an order. She told me that it came from the board of directors and my brother. If Andrew knows about what happened, then my father knows. He will want me to move back home, like he did when he was told about what Paulson did.

That will never happen.

Living with my father, Julio Perez, and stepmother, Eva, was never fun. That was the worst year of my life, and it was only because it was ordered by the family court judge. It was for me to have a chance to bond with my father and older brother.

My father turned a blind eye to Eva’s attitude towards me, and Andrew was my protector. My stepmother is your typical stepmother. It's so cliche, I know.

Though, in some ways, I understand her. My father cheated on her with my mother, and I was the result of that affair. What woman would want a constant reminder of her husband’s infidelity living in her home? I wouldn't, that is for sure.

However, I was innocent of my parents' crimes, yet I paid for them every time I was around her. She was cruel with her words, and on more than one occasion, she slapped me for standing up for myself. I was so happy to be allowed to move back in with my mother.

Speaking of my mother, it is like thinking of her made her call me. I look down at my phone with a frown. I walk into my living room after dropping my work bag by the front door, then answer the phone as I sit on the couch.

Memories of what happened on this couch last night flash through my head as my mother’s voice fills my ear.

“Rylan, how are you this morning?” Her southern accent is always a reminder of the lady she wanted me to be, but I just am not.

“I‘m fine, mom.”

“You sound stressed out. Is your job giving you stress? Maybe you should take some time off and come visit us.”

I close my eyes and let my head fall onto the back of the couch. A visit to South Carolina is not what I need. That will just cause me more stress because she will insist on trying to set me up with all the single men she knows.

For my mother, the very fact that I am still single and have no children is a travesty. I put my career in the Army over having children, and that has always been a point of contention between us. According to her, I should have gotten married right after I left the military.

I tend to not take relationship advice from my hypocritical mother. To her, marriage is an important part of life, and once I find a man I want to marry, I will remain faithful to only him. It is funny to me that she cheated on her husband with a married man, yet she spouts that faithfulness in a marriage is key.

I agree with that sentiment, but not from her.

“Mom, I am fine. My job is everything I could want in a job. Yes, there is stress to go with that, but that is what happens when you are the head of a very prestigious program.”

She scoffs, then goes quiet for a moment. My mother never approved of my choice to join the Army, my choice to become a surgeon after leaving my unit, nor did she approve of me then taking those skills to become a physical therapist in my current job.

“How are you settling into your new house? I still do not understand why you moved out of the old one.” She asks to change the subject.

I haven’t told her that Paulson is out there on the run. That would make her worry and demand that I move closer to her. I already got that from my father when Andrew opened his big mouth.

My parents love me in their own ways, but I often feel like my mother only wants what she thinks is best for her, not for me. It would be best for her if I were living in South Carolina, married to a doctor or a lawyer, with two kids and a dog. For her, that is the ideal life goal that every woman should have.

I like my independence. The ability to come and go as I please. There is no man to answer to.

She hates it.

“The move wasn’t really needed, but I like this place here. My neighbors are quiet, the security guards at the gate are nice, and I have all the space I need.”

"If that is good, then you wouldn’t mind hosting your sister for a few weeks while she and her husband work on their issues.”

Ah, the real reason she called. My sister, Rosalie, and her husband are having marital problems. She caught him sexting and sending nudes to one of his coworkers. In my opinion, I think she should leave his cheating ass.

“Why does she want to come here to work on their issues? Wouldn’t being there with Grant be better for them?”

“She just needs a little break from all the fighting.”

“Or a divorce.”

“Rylan! Running from her marriage by getting a divorce is not the way to solve her problems.”

Yet cheating on your husband is. I don’t say it, but that is what she did to her first husband. They had problems, and she got drunk at a bar and started an affair with a married man. Neither of them were innocent in that situation, but at least my father had the guts to admit his part in it all.

She has never owned up to her part of it.

“Look, I work long hours, and I can’t be here to entertain her all the time.”

“That isn’t what she needs, Rylan. All she needs is a quiet place to stay so she can process what happened and decide what she wants to do next. You have a guest room, so what better place for Rosalie to stay than with her older sister?”

I sigh softly. I love my sister, but I don’t really like her all that much. However, I will admit that this time away from Grant could do Rosalie some good. Maybe we can actually find common ground while she is here.

“Fine. When will she be coming out here?”

“She will be there Wednesday.”

“What if I had said no? Did it occur to you to ask first before she bought a plane ticket?” Now I am angry, and I let it be heard in my voice.

“Family helps family. We don’t say no. Have your sister call me when she gets there.” With that said, my mother hangs up.

Fantastic.