Chapter 17: Raine

I have hiked more in the last few days than I have in the last month. I need to clear my head. I'm trying to decide how much to tell them. What can they handle? What do they absolutely need to know? Should we even go through with this? What if them knowing these things puts them directly in danger? My head is going to explode. I can hardly sleep. It’s just been from pure exhaustion that I have slept at all. We have to do this thing and put me out of my misery already.

I'm on my way back home when I decide that enough is enough. I'm going to just suck it up and do this. Mom and I have been talking about it for days. She’s ready. I’m the one who’s not. I go into the house and head to the office where I know Mom is working. “Hey, you have a minute?” She stops typing and turns toward me, giving me her full attention. “Of course, baby.” I pace back and forth for a minute. She waits patiently. “So, I think I'm ready.” She smiles. “Good. Me too. It will be fine Raine. Jonah loves us. I'm sure that they can accept this situation and handle it properly. They aren’t going to change their minds about us just because things get more complicated. They are good people.” “I know. I'm just scared. Even grandpa doesn’t know everything”, I remind her. “His first reaction was to run to the police. What if Jonah decides to do just that?” She thinks for a second and then assures me. “If we tell them not to, they won’t. They respect our decisions Son.” Then its decided. “I will ask Jade to see when her and Jonah can come over. I want to do it here,” I tell her. She nods and I head to my room.

I call Jade and let her know that we want to talk to them tomorrow night if possible. She sounds relieved and tells me they will be over around six. Now I just have to survive one more night of stress and this will be over. Or at least the secrets will be over. The next step is their reaction. And then I will wait and see if they decide to stay in our lives after they know what a mess we are.

24 hours later we are waiting for them to arrive. Mom made a dinner that I’m not sure I will be able to eat. My hands are clammy. I can’t sit still. The doorbell rings and I just about jump out of my skin. Mom answers and welcomes them in. We sit down around the table. Me next to Jade and Mom next to Jonah as always. There is definitely an uncomfortable feeling in the room. Words unsaid. We are skirting around the real reason they are here. We make conversation. But it feels strained. We need to just get on with it. No one is addressing the elephant in the room. My plate is still half full. I notice everyone else’s is too. “So, guys, if we aren’t really going to eat, can we just get started?” I ask suddenly. All eyes pop up to mine. “Um, sure. I can’t really eat anyway,” Jonah admits.

We head over to the living room and sit down. “I think my Mom should start with her part of the story since it’s hers to tell. I wasn’t born yet when this all started. Then I will tell more details about me. After you guys can ask us questions about whatever you still want to know.” Mom takes a deep breath. Her hands are clenched tightly in her lap. Jonah puts his hand on her neck and rubs it a little. “It’s okay Hope. Take as long as you need. We aren’t going anywhere.” She looks at him and seems to gain some inner strength from him. And then she begins the story of our lives.

“I was fifteen when I met Raine’s biological father. I was in love with him. He was a musician. Tall guy with black hair and blue eyes just like Raine. He was eighteen and had just got a recording contract about a week before I found out I was pregnant. He was going to move to Los Angeles. I didn’t want to hold him back. We lived in Seattle Washington. I decided that It would only complicate things if I told him about the baby. I wanted him to live his dream. I would just be starting my junior year of high school. I didn’t even have a driver’s license yet. We would just be a burden. So, I told him my Father didn’t like him and that we had to break up. He was very upset. He said he wanted to be with me and that he could always get another recording contract once I was finished with high school. It was tempting. He was a good man. But I was young and foolish. I told him I didn’t love him and that he should just go. It broke my heart. But he eventually left, and I never told him about the baby.”

She already has tears in her eyes. This is going to be a hard night. Jonah is now holding her hand. She continues. “My Father was a very wealthy man. My Mother had died when I was young, and I was raised by a nanny. I never felt that closeness to someone like I would have with a mother. I imagined this baby would be my chance to have a real family. Someone who loved me unconditionally. There was no way I would give this baby up. I was scared to tell my Father. But I knew I had to. It took me another month to get up the courage. By that time, Raine’s Father was in Los Angeles. He tried to contact me numerous times. But I never took the calls. I thought I would give in and beg him to come back if I spoke to him. He didn’t need this right now. His career was just starting.

“When I finally told my Father about the baby, he was livid. He wanted to kill Raine’s Father. Then, he wanted me to get an abortion. I would never, ever consider doing that. Then he decided I would put the baby up for adoption. I just couldn’t imagine giving up my precious baby. So, I made a stupid impulsive decision. I took all the money I had and got on a bus to the furthest place it would take me.”

Mom takes a sip of the green tea I gave her, which is shaking in her hands. I know this is the start of the bad part. No one else speaks. They are listening intently. Jade and Jonah look a little nervous. But they are handling it well so far. She begins again. “When the bus stopped in Tennessee, I got off and went into the truck stop for some food. There I met a man named Ezekiel. He was a lot older than me. Somehow, we started talking. Or he started talking to me. He told me that he had a great big ranch where I could get a job and live for free. He said it was beautiful and there were plenty of other girls my age around that I could hang out with. I told him that I was pregnant. This seemed to please him even more. I took that as I good sign, and I stupidly got in his big truck and went to this so-called ranch of his.”

“When we arrived at his place, I soon realized that I wasn’t going to get a job. But that I was his captive. There were 4 other girls there already. The place was surrounded by a huge electric fence. It was so out in the middle of nowhere, that the fence hardly mattered. But it was definitely a deterrent, for us. Most of the place was underground. I was put in a room alone with no windows and it was locked from the outside. I had a bed and that’s all. If I wanted to eat and go to the bathroom, then I had to work for it. There were various jobs I could choose from each day. I could work on construction of the compound or caring for the animals or working in the fields. We had to grow all our own food. We could never leave.”

Jonah and Jade are starting to get an enraged look on their faces. But they are still holding back quite a bit. Jade is gripping the couch cushion and rocking forward and back just a little. I see just the lightest dampness in her eyes. But no tears yet thankfully. Mom continues pressing forward. “I realized that there were a couple of reasons he was so pleased that I was pregnant. He made it clear he needed more money to complete his compound. And we were his fist disciples, albeit unwilling ones. His plan was to ask for a ransom for our safe return. He thought I would be more valuable since I was pregnant. But his other motive was of course increasing the size of his flock. And the other benefit would eventually be more slave labor. In reality, two of the girls were runaways from foster homes and he couldn’t get anything for them. He was enraged at that. They were always treated the most severely. One girl was raised by a single mom, and she had no money. The last girl’s parents did give him the amount he asked for. They hadn’t involved the police, as he had warned. And somehow, he got away with it. Her parents never found her. Then there came me. I was the newest and he was getting smarter. He researched who I was before deciding the amount he asked for me. It was four times the amount of the other girl. My Father actually paid it. But he got the police involved. They had a tracking device on the money. But Ezekiel had gotten smarter. He found it before ever returning to the compound and put it on some big rig headed the opposite direction. I actually had a few hours of hope when I heard helicopters passing over the compound late that night. But they never found us. I learned later that they checked everywhere within a three-hour drive of the money drop. Because he had received the most money for me, I was told that I would become his first wife.” Jonah’s face turned red at this point. Jade took in a startled gasp.

“He wanted to wait until the baby was born and was at least a couple months old before the ceremony. So, this gave me about a six-month reprieve. I had every intention of escaping before it happened. But sadly, it didn’t work out that way. He had the place secured like Fort Knox. And with the money from my Father, he was able to do everything he dreamed of. Cameras everywhere. Security systems galore. I didn’t stand a chance. Especially when I got as big as a house. I was 16 years old when Raine arrived in all of his nine-pound glory. It was the best day of my life. I had my precious boy. It had rained all that day. Hence his name. I looked into those beautiful blue eyes and fell in love. Never had I felt so overwhelmed with emotion. I vowed I would protect him with my life and that one day we would get out of there together.”

Mom took a short break to get herself together. She was crying at this point. But some of them were good tears. The relief of actually having escaped is clear. Jonah held her and rocked her gently back and forth. He smoothed her hair lovingly. I could tell Jade wanted to be holding me as well. But that wasn’t possible yet. Maybe when we were alone later. I know there is a lot more to still tell. I hope Jade can handle it. That I can handle telling it. I have never actually told my story before. Mom is the one who talked to Grandpa about everything.

Soon she was ready to start again. “A couple months later we were unofficially married. I belonged to him. I was his property. That’s what he said at the ceremony. I was devastated. But at least I had my Raine. The beatings started shortly thereafter. He was a very violent man. None of the girls avoided his wrath. I got it less than some of the others because of the baby. And I was safe while I was pregnant. But he still worked my fingers to the bone. And I won’t go into any of the details regarding what the marriage entailed. It was horrible. I was relieved a few years later when he married one of the other girls as well. This gave me a bit of a reprieve. Eventually, he married all of us. Nothing legal of course. By the time we left, he had found 3 more girls. He didn’t try the ransom trick with any of them. It was too risky he realized. And he had enough money already. By the time we got away, there were a total of 8 wives and 14 children. Raine being quite a bit older than the others. Miraculously, I was never pregnant with any of his children. They were all little blondies like him. Raine stood out as different with his black hair. He was the biggest and strongest. And for quite a while, he was the only boy. Ezekiel made it very clear that Raine would not be living with us forever. But that he was a very good laborer and would be used until he was bigger than Zeek. Raine never talked back. He knew that any misstep he took would be taken out on me. He protected me fiercely. Even as a young boy. I was so thankful that my boy did not have any of Ezekiel’s blood in him. Raine had a beautiful heart.

He was also extremely smart with a love of learning. We had schoolbooks. Math and science particularly. Nothing that would tell the children how the outside world worked. They were taught only what Zeek thought they needed to know. Each mother was responsible for teaching their own child daily in addition to her other chores. Our own children were also allowed to stay in our small little room with one bed until they were 8. I was devastated when Raine was taken away. But when we had those 8 years together alone at night, I taught him everything I knew about the world. I wanted him to know what it was like outside of our prison. He knew never to speak of any of it to the other children. We had no electronics at all. No connection to the outside world. Not even a phone. Only Ezekiel had an old cell phone that we were not to touch under any circumstances. It was locked in a safe if we spent time in his bedroom.” Mom took a deep breath and seemed to have decided she was finished for tonight.

I think it was enough for now. I didn’t want to go any further tonight. It was all too overwhelming. Mom had said a few things that I hadn’t known until now. I never had the details about my biological Father before. I didn’t know why they weren’t together or that he was a musician. It was very nice to learn that he didn’t leave because he didn’t want me. He hadn’t even known about me. I think Mom probably felt guilty about this. I wonder how different my life could have been. But there is nothing good that will come of these thoughts. What’s done is done. No going back. No what ifs. We all agreed we would talk more tomorrow. It was Saturday. We would have all day since Jonah didn’t have to work. And I think we all needed a good rest.

Mom said she wanted a little bit of time alone with Jonah before they left. So, Jade and I headed out to our hammock. Yes, it’s our hammock now. I picked her up and laid us down, side by side. I didn’t say anything. I could hear the hum of some bugs flying overhead. And her breathing. It was a little rough like she was ready to cry. I know she has been holding back. She just laid her head in the crook of my arm and put her little hand over my heart. “I'm so sorry Raine” she whispered in a cracking voice. “I love you so much.” I kissed her on the forehead and told her, “I love you too Jade. Please don’t be sad for me. I'm here now. That’s all that matters.” She simply nodded. We stayed there silently for a long time. She didn’t fall asleep like I expected. I think her mind was running too fast like mine. After maybe an hour we heard the sliding glass door open, so we hopped out of the hammock and headed inside. Then they were gone.