Chapter 18—Sebastian
I was on the plane with the guys. Usually, we would be laughing and cheering about our weekend in Vegas. But this time we all had something different on our minds. I had Emma sitting two seats behind me with Sophia, who the previous day had come up to our room and said that she’d managed to change the flights so that we could all go back together. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. I wanted to spend time with Emma. Not them. Mason was next to me and he was quiet as a mouse.
My best friend was screwing my sister and it should have bothered me. There was a code, and a line had been crossed, but now just didn’t feel like the time to discuss it. I had gone from wanting to be on my own to being with Emma and finally realizing how lonely I’d been all the time.
Sure, I had people round me. I sometimes called my mom every hour to make sure she was okay until eventually she turned her phone off.
I felt lost. One minute I had been with Emma surrendering myself to her and the next we were discussing my physical wellbeing. A topic that I hadn’t mentioned out loud, although I thought about it every single day. I had taken her and told her my fears and for a guy like me, that’s fucking deep. Too damn deep. And I wondered for the first time, if that schoolboy crush that I’d had on her had developed into something else, something that I never knew I was capable of, and that was love. There was a connection between us; it couldn’t have been just because we were horny. It must have been something more. I knew it.
“Hey, dude. We look as if we went to a funeral, not Vegas,” Mason said as he tapped me on the leg. We were up in the air when he finally spoke and the seatbelt sign had gone off. All I was doing was trying to see what was going on behind me. I was trying to figure out why the girls were so quiet.
I nodded, unable to speak. I had so much fucking fear running through my spine; before it was just about playing. Now I had something else on my mind: Emma.
I sighed. “I feel as if I’m on my way to a funeral home.”
Mason shook his head. “That’s a bit dramatic. When did you get so sensitive?”
“Maybe when I had been out of the game for more than one season.”
“And I’ve never been out on a season? I’ve played each and every game? Like Kent, Paul or even Oliver? You’re the only one that’s missed out on games during the season? You’ve forgotten about Paul; he was out all of last year. I didn’t hear him crying or you for that matter. Now it’s you it’s all serious. Everyone should be crying themselves to sleep.” His words were loud and clear.
I didn’t know what to say; he was right. Shit, I knew it, but I didn’t want to believe that I had been so selfish up until now. I had to keep a clear head. I’d made a promise to Emma, one that I intended to keep the moment we got back.
“I told Emma that I would go for an examination as soon as we get back.”
He sighed with relief. “At least someone got some sense into you.”
She had, but I didn’t even want to tell her what else she had given me.
“So, you guys are…you know?” he waved his hand up and down, trying to figure out what was going on between us. That was the problem. Emma and I had been woken up by the guys thumping on the hotel room door like children. We hadn’t had a chance to talk. We missed out the most important thing: what we were going to do when we got back home.
I shook my head. “Dunno, man. What about you and my sis?”
He shook his head. “Dunno, man. I wish women were as easy as football.”
That I could relate to; it was all about the game plan on the field, but when it came to relationships life got a lot more complicated.
I high-fived him and said, “I know what you mean. I really wish they were.”
We laughed and Kent blurted out, “They’re as complicated as you want them to be.”
Mason and I looked at each other.
We both put our headphones on and I put on a movie that I had no intention of watching, because I knew that within a few seconds I would be catching up on my sleep. Women were complicated and spending a whole weekend in Vegas had tired me out.