Chapter 68 Teach Me

Chapter 68 Teach Me
Rachel Jennings.

I wanted to say that all this was a lie, that Jayden and I had nothing, that I always liked only him and that I would never feel anything for Jayden. The only problem is that I'm not so sure anymore if that's true. Everything seems to be getting more complicated, and I feel like I'm neck-deep in quicksand. The more I moved and fought against my feelings, the more I sank, and to be honest, I was tired of fighting.

Today I almost confessed my feelings to Jayden, and despite being upset with him at the moment, I couldn't help but think of all the good things he did for me. In part, I knew I couldn't blame Jayden for what happened with that girl. I turned him down several times, and maybe if I were in his place, I would act the same way. When I realize that I'm justifying Jayden's actions, I shrink back. How intense is my feeling for Jayden? To the point of justifying his mistakes? My mother used to do that. Every attitude, betrayal, and aggressive behavior was always justifiable in her loving eyes, and I shudder at the thought.

"How can you go back to him after what you saw?" He asked, squeezing his already small eyes, and his words drew a sigh from me.

How could I explain what was happening without sounding ridiculous?

"It's not what you're thinking," I affirmed, and he stared at me attentively before leaning in, and the moment his citrusy scent enveloped me, I froze.

"Then explain it to me, Rachel! Explain to me because I'm about to lose my mind. How can he touch you after what he did? He doesn't deserve you! How can he betray you with that plain girl? In fact, how can he even consider looking at someone else when he has you?" He asked, annoyed, and the closer he got, the more hypnotized I became. "If you were mine," he paused and sighed, cupping my face in his hands, and I couldn't think straight anymore.

"I wouldn't look at anyone else, I'd be too busy kissing those rosy lips that have haunted my thoughts," his eyes lingered on my lips fixedly, and there was no more control.

My hands caressed his that held my face, and I stood on tiptoe, seeking the kiss I had always dreamed of. He kissed the tip of my nose and removed my glasses, our eyes met, and his thumb caressed my cheek. He leaned in, and I closed my eyes, feeling his kisses on my eyelids, one by one. He brushed our noses, and although the wait was agonizing, when I was rewarded with his lips, they were even more delicious than I could ever imagine.

Our tongues massaged, danced, and seemed to pirouette in the sky from our mouths like in a well-rehearsed ballet. It was our first kiss, but everything fit so well that I felt as if we had done this our entire lives and maybe even in past lives before this. I recognized this taste, I recognized that touch, and when his arms embraced me, lifting my body even higher, I knew I would do whatever it takes to have more of him.

I would pretend a thousand relationships, learn whatever is necessary, assume any personality he desires in an attempt for him to one day desire me as desperately as I desire him now. I didn't care about breath, time, or space. I didn't care if we were in a university room or in a bedroom where we wouldn't be interrupted. At that moment, I was his in a way that I didn't know if I could be someone else's.

Jasper has an almost supernatural power over me, and when our lips reluctantly parted, I pulled his lower lip gently with my teeth. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to take a part of him with me to believe that it really happened, and he smiled as if he could read my thoughts, making me involuntarily return the smile. This kiss gave meaning to all the effort I had made, and now in his arms, all I could think was that it was worth it.

"Don't go back to him!" Jasper pleaded, pressing our foreheads together, and I shook my head.

"I won't," I affirmed, and he seemed to relax.

When he was about to kiss me again, I heard a knock on the door, and I saw Jayden there through the glass door. He had a sour expression, but that was almost a habit for him. Jasper looked at me, and I smiled, taking my glasses from his hand and adjusting them on my face.

"I have to go!" I explained, and he seemed to analyze me.

"With him?" Jasper asked, pointing to the door, and I nodded, smiling.

"He helps out at an animal shelter where I volunteer," I explained, and when I looked at the door, Jayden was there with his watch on his wrist pressed against the glass to remind us that we were late.

"Are you sure that's all?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Yes, he moved on, and I'll move on too," I asserted, but I remembered what Lexie said, so I continued. "When the time is right. I still need some time alone before wanting to be in a relationship again," I concluded, and he seemed to ponder my words. I needed to gain some time. If we start something now, he will realize that I have no experience whatsoever and will dismiss me as he did with Lexie.

"I understand, and don't worry, things don't have to be so serious," he affirmed, and I smiled.

"Thank you, well, I'll be going!" I informed him and left a kiss on his cheek before leaving.

Jayden and I walked side by side, and when I least expected it, Jayden's voice surprised me.

"Okay, you can celebrate now!" He asserted, and I turned to look at him, startled.

"What?" I asked, confused, and he gave a weak smile.

"I don't think even if I won the lottery, I'd be as happy as you are now," he chuckled, rolling his eyes and sighing. "It's good to see you smiling, even if the reason isn't me. So, go ahead and celebrate! Besides, I won't try anything with you anymore. It's clear we're much better off as friends," he explained, but he didn't look at me.

"Are you sure?" I asked, worried, and he shrugged before smiling.

"Well, if I kissed someone else today, I guess I can't be mad if you did the same," he joked, and I lightly slapped his arm before finally jumping with joy.

"I kissed Jasper! I really kissed Jasper!" I asserted, smiling, unable to believe that it really happened.

"Make a sign with that phrase and carry it around!" He teased, and soon we were getting into his car.

"Maybe I'll do more than that," I said when my mind started to buzz, and he looked at me curiously as he buckled his seatbelt.

"What, then?" He asked, curious, and started the car.

"I think Lexie's right," I reflected, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Now, that would be a novelty. What is she right about?" He asked and started the car.

"I think we need to have sex. Jayden, can you teach me?" I asked, and the nervousness caused him to step on the accelerator, and when the car lurched forward, he hit the brakes, making the tires screech on the asphalt. The scare made my heart race, but despite the jolt caused by the sudden stop, we were fine, but he looked at me incredulously. Should we take this further?