Chapter 20

SATURDAY, AUGUST 17, 2024, AT 1:30 PM.

I’m seriously thinking about how Ashton turned my life upside down in less than three weeks. Because, honestly, my detachment kept me from emotional and mental problems, but now, I’m about to hold hands and pretend I’m in love with him.

Just imagining it makes my stomach twist, and a storm begins to brew in my head as I struggle to convince myself that I made the best decision. In my situation, it was the most logical one, right?

Millionaire. Career success. Dating. Engagement. Marriage. What the hell!

These words loop in my mind, making me dizzy.

I stare at my open carry-on bag on Harper’s bed, tearing dead skin from the inside of my cheeks.

In a few days, I’ll be packing to live with someone I can’t stand. I’ll spend eight long months trying to hold back my nerves. It’s exhausting to think and organize myself so I don’t end up having the worst days of my life because if we spend most of the time fighting, allied with the past, I’ll definitely lose my mind.

In fact, I know Ashton very well. His promise to make my life hell wasn’t something he said lightly. If he said he’ll bother me, he will.

It’s not that I don’t understand, on the contrary, I know that accepting Jared’s proposal is the trigger for Ashton. It brings painful memories of his past. No matter how much time passes, someone he loved used him, and even though he’s forgiven, overcoming it is another story.

I’m sure the betrayal is deeply rooted in his heart, growing branches, and taking it out only through sex is like proving to himself that he can control what he feels. It’s as if he’s saying that, despite being used, he won. But I can’t let him win. Because of him, I got fired and lost the only connection I had with a promising career. I can endure some resentment if I’m being rewarded.

I read Leo Bandit’s file. The guy is famous for the parties he throws, and Ava wanted to prepare me. I checked the guest list, and it’s filled with celebrities. From Penni Lancaster to the basketball player who beat up Ashton the other day, Sawyer something. His ex-wife is also among the guests, Ebony Bandit.

The party will be held at a house by the beach in Miami. Since early this morning, fan pages on Twitter have been covering the celebrities landing in Florida.

From what I’ve seen, every year, his birthday turns into an event. Lots of things go down, including, and mostly, drugs. I had no doubt about that. I just hope I won’t have to play the older, responsible sister and run after the guys, stopping them from making a mess.

I throw the dress I picked for tonight into my suitcase, along with my personal hygiene items and makeup. My phone rings underneath the piles of clothes on the bed. I push the pieces aside, rummaging through them, following the ringtone until I find it pressed under a few party dresses.

I grab the phone and see Mackenzie’s name.

“Hey?”

“Hey? Aren’t we best friends?”

“Hmm, yes, we are.” I laugh, walking around the room and putting back the clothes I won’t take with me in the closet. “What’s with the weird tone?”

“Bryan told me Ashton invited you to a party today.”

That damn gossip-monger.

“Well, yes. What’s the big deal?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” The screeching on the line shows she’s genuinely upset.

There’s a point between me and Mackenzie; I’ll always be there for her. No matter what the problem is, if she needs help digging a hole and hiding a body, I’ll be the one bringing the shovel and all the chemical components to speed up decomposition. But I’m not the one who shares every personal detail. That’s because I like to keep my choices to myself, without someone judging or protesting every decision I make.

During my adolescence, my parents were controlling and stoic with me. I grew up so insecure about myself and my personality that I found myself wrapped up by human claws, sunk so deep into my flesh that I couldn’t imagine having the freedom I have today. I take full advantage of it and hate it when someone judges my decisions as if they’re in my shoes.

“Because it’s nothing major!” I respond exactly as Avalon instructed me. “It’s just a party.”

We want to take things slow. We won’t expose that we’re in a relationship to the press right away, although I’m sure Ashton doesn’t care about following the guidelines the team gives. He’ll definitely act as he sees fit, and if today’s the day he wants to tell the whole world we’re ‘dating,’ he’ll do it without any problem.

Arrogant and impulsive, as always, but I won’t analyze every step he wants to take. After all, he’s the one with his reputation in total shambles.

“You haven’t talked to him properly in a long time, Gravity. Don’t come at me with that talk.”

I gasp, hanging all the dresses on hangers and organizing them in the closet.

“And if I tell you it might be...” I bite the corner of my lower lip, inhaling the scent of fabric softener from the clothes. “But it could just be that we’ve understood each other?”

I don’t like keeping secrets from her, but it wouldn’t be the first time, and probably won’t be the last.

“Did you know he and Delilah have been fighting for years? And that he’s never admitted to being wrong?”

Yes, I would never get back with Ashton, and he would never apologize for what happened because, to him, there’s nothing wrong with what he did. So Mackenzie has a strong argument on her side.

“But there’s a difference between me and Delilah.”

Mackenzie laughs.

“What’s that?”

“He can sleep with me.”

“Wow. So you and he are really sleeping together again?”

“You forgave Bryan for lying about Delilah. Why is it weird that I forgave Paris and Nicola?”

“Because, first, Ashton slept with her. And second, he disappeared and didn’t feel obligated to explain himself or apologize. Bryan didn’t kiss Delilah, and he apologized.” My friend sighs. It’s a defeated sigh, as if she doesn’t want to accept it. “Do you like him?”

I almost choke on my own tongue when I hear the question. What a joke.

“For you to have forgiven him like that, you must like him. I’ve always wondered about your past. I’ve made assumptions that you dated one of the guys or, I don’t know, you’re running away from something. One day, will you tell me if I’m right?”

“There’s nothing to tell.” My smile is a mask, so I’m glad Mackenzie can’t see it. “I mean, of course, I’ve dated before, but there’s nothing to tell.”

“It’s just that you always talked about me and Bryan as if you had the same experience.”

“My advice is based on facts, and the fact is that you and Bryan could’ve worked things out if you weren’t so proud! And I just didn’t want to see you hurting yourself again and again because of him.”

This time, it’s Mackenzie who laughs.

“Yeah, you and Ashton are both proud. Anyway, I just called to make sure. Delilah and I spent a long time debating why, suddenly, you two got close. Can you believe Delilah said Ashton convinced you to fake a relationship to clean up his bad image with the press?” Her laugh reaches a pitch that makes me pull the phone away from my ear and stare at the screen, frowning. Now I understand why Delilah used to be his best friend. “But I told her you would never agree! Can you imagine? I’ve known you for so long, and I’m sure if that were the case, you would tell me.”

My throat tightens. A strange discomfort and entirely new ache grows in the back of my eyes. I press them with my fingers until I clear my vision and finish tidying up the mess, as well as the suitcase, with the phone pressed between my cheek and shoulder.

“Did Bryan invite you to the party?”

“He invited all of us.”

“But?”

Because there’s always a “but.”

“Delilah is finishing her book and doesn’t want to leave the house. Effy has a date...”

“Effy has a date?!” I widen my eyes at my reflection in the mirror, hands on my hips. “Why didn’t I know about this?”

“She doesn’t want to spread it around. But the guy is a cutie!” she exclaims, letting out excited giggles. “He’s a doctor, works at San Rosé. Dr. Beckham Malik.”

“How? Where? But, most importantly, why?”

I sit on the bed, dumbfounded, folding my legs under my butt to listen. Glad the focus has shifted.

“Angel is his family friend. The first time Beck showed up at the Font News building, he couldn’t take his eyes off Effy. Okay, he’s twelve years older, but he really seems to like her.”