There had been few moments in my life that seemed justified, a glimpse of a normal life. This was one of them and I knew without a doubt, they were undeserved.
But I would fight to keep them.
Even if I'd sold my soul to the devil. Willow
"And I will die to keep you safe."
I'd heard the words, his solemn vow just seconds before I'd fallen asleep. They still terrified me, a reminder that what I thought I understood about life had been completely wrong. However, there was no turning back the clock, no righting the wrongs. And today, I was given a gift of being responsible for taking care of a beautiful little boy.
I'd always wanted children, had planned on at least four, but that wasn't to be. Angelo had taken that ability from me years before on one drunken night. The scars weren't only inside my body. They would never leave my mind.
How could I love someone like Aleksei, a man I'd called a brutal monster? Because hidden behind all the bravado and macho actions, there was a tender and very loving father. Merely watching him with Dimitri was breathtaking, a moment that couldn't be faked. They say you can tell the measure of a man by the way he handles children and animals.
I knew in my heart he was a good man.
Then why was I petrified?
Sometime in the middle of the night he'd brought me to his bed, holding me until the wee hours of the morning. I knew he had business to attend to, saving his kingdom as well as his father. I only wished I could help more, providing any kind of information, but nothing came to mind that would add any additional insight or knowledge about my brother's full plans.
I had a difficult time believing my parents were of Russian descent, but there was so little that I remembered. I twisted on the bed, staring at the clock. He'd awakened me long enough this morning for a single kiss as well as letting me know the plane was leaving at ten. I had no time to waste. At least he was riding with me to the airport.
The light rapping on the door gave me a smile. Seeing the almost sheepish look on Aleksei's face was endearing. In his hand was a steaming cup of coffee, another gesture that seemed so out of place for the brooding Russian.
Although he was no longer brooding.
The thought gave me such a huge smile. I sat up, tucking the sheets under my arms.
He eased onto the bed, handing me the coffee then yanking down the bedding. "I own you. Never cover up unless absolutely necessary."
"I'll try and remember that."
"I have one more question for you."
The warmth of the cup was inviting, but his cold stare gave me a solid chill. "Okay."
"Do you believe your brother is lying about any other aspect of your personal life?"
I thought about the question, unsure of where this was going. "He wasn't lying about what happened to Angelo, or from what I know, about the trust established for my education. I'm not certain what you're getting at."
He nodded before fingering my hair. "I guess it really doesn't matter. Where you're going you will be safe. No one knows about the house I purchased and only a few of my men know you exist, let alone you're leaving with Dimitri. I do want you to know that I'll do what I can to keep Peter alive, but I can't promise you anything any longer."
"You do what you have to do. He means nothing to me any longer."
"Family is still family, whether blood is involved or not. I know that's very important to you. As I said, I'll do what I can."
There was another moment of sadness laced in his comments as well as a resignation that I'd heard before. He was under extreme duress, fighting people that seemed to have the upper hand. "Aleksei, you are a man of honor. Remember that."
He moved toward the door, his entire body tense. "I'm beginning to question that more every day. When you're ready, we'll leave for the airport. By the way, you are welcome to use my shower." The grin on his face was far too seductive.
"Can't you join me?" I shifted, allowing the sheet to fall further as I leaned forward.
Growling, he moved back toward the bed, sitting on the edge. "Such a little temptress. You're one very bad girl."
"I thought you appreciated my naughty vixen side."
"You have no idea." He took the cup from my hand, gripping my neck as he leaned over, his rough tongue swirling around my nipple.
"Mmm..." I gripped his arm, wanting nothing more than to stay in bed, enjoying another round of delicious sex. What I truly wanted was to forget about what he was facing, the danger that simply refused to leave.
He brushed his lips across my chest to my other hardened bud, taking his time sucking and biting. When he eased back, he exhaled, allowing his hot breath to cascade across my skin.
Instantly, I was aroused, even more so than the night before.
"I wish I could. I have certain... business arrangements to make." Once again, he retreated from the bed, this time, his shoulders slumping as he made his way toward the door. When he tilted his head, his expression was one of longing.
"I understand."
The closing of the door seemed like such an ending, although I held on to everything he'd said the night before, words and sentiments that I longed to believe.
There was no time for remorse, no calming my nerves. I had to do this for him.
His bathroom was nothing special, as if the room was merely meant for guests; however, seeing his toiletries and the soft terry robe hanging on the back of the door, I somehow felt closer to him.
I glanced into the mirror, rubbing my hand across my neck. His hold the night before had been completely dominating, but I'd experienced no fear of what he was going to do. My trust of him was... surprising. There was no other word.
The hot water almost instantly steamed up the bathroom and as I slid under the showerhead, the water was a delicious and very soothing moment. I knew I couldn't remain in the fantasy we'd both created, but maybe we'd be able to create additional memories.