Elliot rests his hand on his chin as he listens.
"She has the purest heart of anyone I've ever met." I drop my head. "She puts everyone else's needs before her own, especially mine." I smile sadly. "She's a pediatric nurse."
"Nathan," Elliot says quietly. "Why is your attraction to her so abhorrent to you?"
My eyes meet his. "Because she is everything to me. I can't lose her." My heart constricts in my chest. "Just the thought of not having her by my side is…"
"Why do you think you would lose her?"
"We're not… it's never been like that between us." I frown. "She doesn't think of me like that and…"
"And what?'
"I'm a lot to handle… sexually."
"How so?"
"I like it rough. My appetite is insatiable. And I'm…" My voice trails off.
"You're what?"
"Large."
He frowns as he listens intently.
"She's very…" I frown as I search for the right word. "Fragile."
"You don't think the two of you would be sexually compatible?"
"No, and if we ever crossed that line and it didn't work out, we could never go back to where we are."
"You're happy where you are now?"
I smile softly. "Waking up next to her is the best part of my day."
"I see." Elliot begins to scribble on his paper.
"So… how do I turn this off? It can't happen again."
"I don't think I can help you, Nathan."
"Why not?" My eyes search his.
"Because I'm of the opinion that you may be in love with Eliza."
"What?" I snap. "That's ridiculous."
"Is it?"
I stare at him as my pulse begins to sound in my ears.
"Could it be possible, Nathan, that your body is just catching up with your heart?"
"No." The room begins to spin.
"That maybe it's taken this long for you to allow yourself to feel again?"
"You're wrong," I snap, angered that this fucker has wasted my time. "I'm just horny."
"So, why not go and sleep with someone else tonight? If it's that easily fixed, go and take what you want."
Fury begins to bubble deep inside of me. "You don't know me." I sneer.
"How long has it been since you've had sex with someone, Nathan?"
He hits a nerve, and I swallow the lump in my throat. "A few months."
"Why do you think that is?"
I hate this fucking guy.
Our eyes are locked, and anger hangs in the air between us.
"Would you feel like you're betraying Eliza if you were intimate with someone else? If you gave your body to someone else and not her?"
My nostrils flair as tears threaten to fall.
I drop my head, rattled.
Fuck.
Eliza
I wake slowly to the sun peering through the side of the drapes. My head is snuggled into Nathan's broad chest while he's on his back. His fingers are mindlessly running through my hair. He's obviously been awake for a while.
I inhale deeply and pull out of his arms to stretch.
"Morning," he whispers in a gravelly voice.
I smile sleepily. "Hi." I look around for my phone. "What time is it? Where's the alarm?"
"It didn't go off yet. You forgot to close the drapes last night."
I wince against the morning sun. "You mean you forgot to close the drapes. Since when has it been my job?"
"Well, if we were at my house, it would be my job, but since this is your house…" He shrugs.
I roll my eyes and climb out of bed. "Just do us both a favour and don't speak today, okay?"
He chuckles, rolls onto his side to face me, and leans up onto his elbow. His eyes slowly drop down to my bare legs. They linger for a moment on my thighs, and then as if remembering where he is, they snap back up to my face.
I'm wearing panties and a camisole. I'm also braless with everything hanging out but that's nothing new. This is my usual sleeping attire so I put my hands on my hips. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
"Did you just check me out?"
"No." He frowns as if disgusted. "Are you kidding?" He climbs out of bed in a rush. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He demands. "Why would you even say that?" He storms into the bathroom and slams the door.
I begin to make the bed. Jeez, I was joking. Why's he so touchy today?
I flick the kettle on and dress into my gym gear of black work-out pants and a black tank top. I put my hair into a high ponytail. I attend the 5:30 a. m. spin class every morning while Nathan goes back to his house and gets ready for work. He does his early rounds at the hospital before he starts his day. It's a comfortable little routine we have. I go to the gym in the morning while he works, and then he goes to the gym straight after work in the evening while I sort dinner.
Moments later, he re-emerges from the bathroom.
"Your coffee is on the counter," I call as I tidy up the cushions and throw them back onto the couch.
Why am I so messy at night?
"Thanks." He picks up his travel mug.
"Are you going to do the online grocery order today?" I ask as I get his leftovers for lunch out of the fridge and pass them to him. We have a deal. He pays for the groceries and I do the cooking.
"Yeah." He peers into the side of the Tupperware container. "What's on the menu today?"
"Lasagne."
His brows rise in surprise. He worked late last night and skipped dinner with me. "You had lasagne last night without me?" He puts his hand over his heart as if wounded. "How could you?"
"Uh-huh, you missed out big time. It was one of my best."
"Did you give me extra today?"
"I did."
He smiles down at me. "What would I do without you?"
"Starve, I expect."
He kisses my cheek. "See you tonight." He picks up his keys. "Email me the shopping list."
"I already did, and don't purposely forget the chocolate like you did last week. I'll just make you go find it at 10:00 p. m. again."
"Whatever." He disappears out of the door.
I smile as the door closes behind him, and then I remember where I have to go now. I exhale heavily. Ugh, spin class. It never gets more appealing. Every day it's a drag.
One of these days I'm going to wake up fit and hot, and I'll never have to go again.
Until then, though, it's off to the gym I go.