Chapter 76 IT HURT AVRIELLE

Chapter 76 IT HURT AVRIELLE
AVRIELLE'S POV

I sat propped up against the headboard of Xavier’s bed, resting my head back against the soft, cool polished grain.

My eyes slowly wandered over the spacious chamber, taking in the dark velvet drapery, the bookshelves, and the faint, lingering scent that belonged entirely to the Alpha.

I consciously forced my thoughts away from the cold, damp cell units down below. I didn't want to think about Adrian.

'He brought his own end upon himself, Avy,' Elle’s voice resonated gently inside my mind, completely calm and unyielding. 'Maybe he didn't deserve to die choking on his own blood in the dark... but he isn't worth a single tear from your eyes.'

I let out a soft, silent breath, agreeing with my wolf a hundred percent.

It was almost surreal to reflect on how I used to view Adrian. I had spent years seeing him as a gentle saint—a soft, noble prince trapped in his terrifying uncle's shadow even when he treated me like trash—until the blood-soaked truth shattered that illusion and revealed the manipulative, treacherous monster he truly was.

He had lied to me, used me, and betrayed his own blood for a crown he didn't have the strength to hold.

My heart felt quiet regarding him, but my mind drifted to the others. I just hoped the rest of the pack members were safe, that Kaiden and Ryan were managing the chaos in the lower courtyard. And Elena... my sweet friend.

I hadn't seen her in two whole days, and a soft knot of worry tightened in my chest, hoping she was hidden safely in the mountain bunkers.

CLICK. The door pushed open quietly.

Xavier stepped into the room. He didn't say a word. He looked utterly drained with his shoulders carrying an invisible, suffocating weight, his hair messy, and his golden eyes clouded with a deep, silent anguish. He walked straight toward the bed, kicked off his boots, and climbed onto the mattress.

Without waiting for an invitation, he wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face into the crook of my neck, pulling my body flush against his. I opened my arms, wrapping them tightly around his shoulders, my fingers gently running through his thick, soft hair, patting his head in a slow, soothing rhythm.

We stayed like that for a long, quiet moment, the gentle rising and falling of our chests syncing up in the room.

"Are you okay?" I whispered softly against his temple.
Xavier gave a single, small nod against my neck, but he didn't speak.

I fell silent, keeping my lips pressed against his hair, giving him the quiet space he desperately needed to gather his shattered thoughts.

Suddenly, after minutes of heavy silence, Xavier’s deep, gravelly voice cut through the room, sounding small and strangely raspy.

"Do you know why I rescued Adrian as a newborn and raised him?"

I paused, my fingers halting their movement in his hair before resuming their gentle stroke. "No..." I murmured softly, offering a quiet, gentle guess. "Definitely because you felt pity for him... and decided to help a helpless baby."

Xavier let out a low, bitter exhale against my skin. "Nice to know you think I'm nice enough for that... but no."

He shifted slightly, leaning his chin against my collarbone, staring blankly at the wall. "I didn't save him out of pity. I saved him because... the first time I saw him, he looked so much like my elder brother. The day I found him, his mother was caught in a burning building during a border skirmish. She gave everything she had, using her absolute last breath to birth him before she died."

"When I got there, she was already gone. Only Adrian lay there on the floor, wrapped in his mother's burnt shirt, barely breathing, making tiny, pathetic sounds. I couldn't bear to see another person lost to a fire. I couldn't watch another child burn... so I took him." His voice trembled slightly, a raw edge cutting through his tone.

I kept my hand resting gently on his head, listening intently as the fearsome Alpha laid his soul bare before me.

"You know..." Xavier continued quietly, a faint, melancholic shadow passing over his handsome face, "I had just become the young Alpha back then. I was only sixteen years old, trying so hard to hide a newborn from my father and not to mention I sucked at taking care of a baby. I didn't know what I was doing."

"I hired private nannies, but Adrian wouldn't stop crying... and eventually, I got busted. My father was furious and he tried everything to send the baby to an orphanage or get another pack family to adopt him."

A faint, tired smile touched the corner of his lips. "I wouldn't let go. I threw the biggest tantrum of my life. I threatened to run away from home and desert the Alpha throne forever if my father didn't accept Adrian into the keep."

My heart softened, a warm pang of ache spreading through my chest. "He let him stay?"

"He let Adrian stay..." Xavier agreed softly, "but he never acknowledged him. He treated him like a ghost. Even though I had to become a parent at sixteen, those were the best days of my teenage years. Seeing his cute laugh... watching him smile... it healed the constant pain and crushing guilt I carried, believing I was the sole reason Jeremy was caught in that fire."

He took a slow, heavy breath, his fingers tightening slightly around my waist. "You wouldn't believe how happy I was when Adrian grew up with a striking, undeniable resemblance to Jeremy. I thought the universe had given me back my brother... just in a younger form."

"Maybe that's why I could never live with him calling me 'Dad.' I couldn't bear it. So I settled for seeing him as my nephew... my dead brother's son... even when I knew deep down he wasn't related to us at all. I just wanted so desperately to believe that Jeremy had left something behind for me to love."

I cradled his cheek with my free hand, my thumb gently tracing his strong jawline.

"When Adrian was about six years old, my father passed on," Xavier murmured, his tone growing darker, heavier. "And I had to take up the full, brutal mantle of an Alpha. I was twenty-one, buried under an impossible workload, with a massive territory to manage and a young nephew to care for. I couldn't keep up."

He swallowed hard, his eyes clouding over. "I was just another weak, naive leader... until an assassination attempt was made on Adrian's life by a rival pack. At that exact moment, seeing him bleeding on the council floor, I realized how weak I truly was. And I swore to the stars I would never allow him to be bullied or threatened again."

His jaw clenched tightly, his teeth grinding together. "I forced myself to learn how to become deadly. I stopped sparing enemies, I stopped using my heart anf most importantly... I pushed Adrian away. I had to distance myself from him, Avrielle, because I couldn't risk losing another person I loved just because they were close or associated with me. So... I got him private tutors, hired the best nannies, and spoiled him with everything he ever asked for."

A bitter, pained laugh escaped his throat. "Maybe I spoiled him a little too much... enough for him to grow arrogant, to rebel against me. And I don't even know if I should be angry at him for rebelling or myself!"

"Do you know how badly it hurt me when I found out on his wedding day that you were my mate?"

My breath caught in my throat, my eyes widening in complete shock. "Wait... you knew back then? But... I didn't see you at the wedding!"

Xavier nodded slowly against my chest. "Because I couldn't bring myself to stand there and watch him kiss the bride. But I was willing... Goddess, I was so willing not to ruin his happiness. I was willing to sacrifice my own soul, to ignore the mating bond, so he could have a peaceful life. And I couldn't ruin yours either, because when Adrian came over to my study to ask if you could be spared from the pack execution, he told me how deeply in love you both were and I saw the way you looked at him."

A cold lump formed in my throat as I looked down at him, realizing the sheer, crushing sacrifice he had carried in silence for months.

"Do you know the unbearable hurt I felt when I had to put him in a cell after he tried to kill you?" Xavier whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "When I had to be the one to plan the execution of the boy I raised, fed, and protected with my own hands?"

"Do you know how much I prayed... how much I stalled time, hoping and begging for you to arrive with proof that he was innocent? Gosh... I wanted him to be innocent so badly, Avrielle, even when I had evidence of thousabds of his crime!"

He pulled his face from my neck, pushing himself up slightly, his broad chest heaving with deep, chaotic breaths. His eyes were wide, bloodshot, and filled with a storm of raw, unadulterated pain.

"I also want to be the Devil of the North, like they call me!" Xavier yelled softly, his voice trembling with a mixture of rage and grief. "Maybe then I wouldn't have let him go scot-free for the one millionth time he betrayed me! For the hurt he caused me... for what he stole from me... for my brother hating me! Maybe if I'd been a little bit heartless and killed him before he could commit suicide... maybe then I'd feel at ease! Because who gave him the damn right to end his own life?! Who?!"

I tilted my head, my eyes softening as I looked at the red, tear-brimmed eyes of the mighty Alpha lying over me.

"Cry, Xavier," I whispered gently, my fingers softly cupping his warm face. "You need it."

Xavier flinched, pulling back slightly, his lip curling into a fierce, defensive scowl. "Only weaklings cry."

I looked straight into his bloodshot eyes, my voice firm, unwavering, and full of deep, absolute love. "Weaklings? Or are you just scared of crying? Only the weak ones are scared, Xavier. The strong ones cry, get it over with, and don't dull the pain inside or carry it around like an iron chain. If you're weak enough to be afraid to cry... then I really don't know how you ever became the Devil Alpha of the North."

Xavier’s eyes flashed with sudden, fierce fire. "I am not weak!" he yelled.

And then, his posture completely collapsed.

He let out a ragged, choking gasp, buried his face squarely into my chest, and wrapped his arms around me with a desperate, crushing strength.

And then, the Devil Alpha of the North began to weep.

Heavy, wracking sobs tore through his broad chest, shaking his entire body as tears soaked through my shirt. He held onto me as if I were the only solid anchor in a storm-tossed sea.

"It hurts, Avrielle..." Xavier sobbed, his voice raw, small, and completely broken against my skin. "It hurts so much... I couldn't protect him... I failed. I failed him..."

I held him tight, wrapping my arms and legs around his trembling frame, pressing my lips into his hair, letting him bleed out the grief he had carried for a lifetime.

"It...hurts..."