Chapter 32

FAITH

The fact of having finally let this strike pass which was really useless does me really good, I can be in the arms of my darling, kiss him and touch his beautiful muscles, I feel so good in his arms

Me: you must be really tired after all those hospital stays

Chris: no no it's going great

Me laughing: stop wanting to be your superhero in front of me, the face you have and the size of your dark circles tell me just the opposite

Chris kissing my neck: don't worry about me sweetheart

I climb on top of him, I give him kisses on his neck, I go back down on his chest and towards his pelvis, he holds me back and brings me back to kiss me like I've dreamed of during all this tending.

Me: turn around

Chris: but why?

Me: lay on your stomach

He executes, I go back to his back and I start by slowly massaging his shoulders one after the other with my available hands, I go to his arms, I come back to his shoulders before coming back to his back, I start again again these movements several times before kissing his neck several times, he draws me to him, kisses me and takes me in his arms, at one point I feel his breathing which becomes regular again I guess he begins to sleep

I stay lying next to him for a while so as not to wake him up, when I move he catches up with me and serves me even more so I stay lying next to him in his arms and I end up sleeping too.

I don't know how long we slept but it's Chris who wakes me up, at one point I feel him tense up and hug me very hard which really hurts me

Me: aeeeeee

Chris: I'm sorry, I'm really sorry

Me: but what's wrong?

Chris: no don't worry it's ok

Me: please don't tell me it's okay, you're sweating there

Chris standing up and running his hands through his hair: I've been having nightmares for a while

Me stroking her hand: what kind of nightmare my heart?

Chris: When I learned that she aborted our baby, I started having dreams of crying babies, or sometimes I find myself in a garden with lots of babies calling me daddy save me afterwards everything I understood that it was my guilt for not having been able to prevent her from having an abortion that made me have these dreams so at one point it stopped, but when you ended up in the hospital my nightmares have resumed so I avoid sleeping so as not to have nightmares

Me: sweetheart you don't have to feel guilty, this time if our baby is alive he will be here soon

I take her hand which I place on my belly

Me: he's alive, and I promise you I don't blame you, you're in no way guilty of who's ok?

Chris nodding yes: I hurt you didn't I?

Me smiling: don't worry it's ok, I thought I had to start by running

Chris: come here, in my arms

Me getting up: no no you knew too much, you should go in the shower, I have no desire to find myself in your arms right now

Chris: well thank you, I see how much Madam loves me, but I will catch you

He gets up and approaches me, I get up and run out of the room, I hear him laughing out loud in the room, I'm glad he doesn't dwell on his nightmares, his I really feel sorry for him, I didn't think he had gone through so much, often when you see rich people you say to yourself that they are too lucky, that they must have the good life, we wants to be in their place, to have what they have, sometimes also have the desires but what we don't know or don't want to admit is that they also have their share of problems because some either the amount of material goods you have, life is never always rosy, they always have our share of problems in store for us

I went down to the kitchen and asked mama kadi which room Leïla was in, and went to see her when she woke up but I found her in the living room in front of the TV with mamma kadi

Leila

When I arrive Christopher asks Mama Kadi to put me in a room, she helps me up and settle down, I go to take a bath and go to bed, it's hunger that wakes me up, I get up to wash my face and I go down to the kitchen where Mama Kadi serves me food, when I'm done we sit in the living room where we start a long discussion, she gives me lots of advice, this lady is God who sent it to me, we were in the middle of a discussion when faith arrives

Faith: well, aren't you sleeping?

Me turning around: yes yes but well the hunger to wake me up

Faith laughing: you and your belly

Me: where is my pain, kpo tassime ma dounou sia "which means in French let me eat sia"

We start laughing, she sits next to me before talking to mama kadi

Faith: mom thank you very much for the advice

Mama Kadi: I hope it's going well

Faith: It went better than I thought it would, God bless you

Mama kadi: Ameen God bless you too my children

Both of us at the same time: Ameen mama

Me laughing: finally you stopped playing mulehead, you were doing all the clever stuff there but you had drooled every time you laid eyes on the guy

Faith laughing: ah leave me, how about we have a girls' night out?

Me: I'm in on the condition that Mama Kadi also spends the evening with us

Faith turning to her: please, we're not going to do anything crazy, we're just going to eat and chat

Mama kadi: ok

We spend the whole evening together, we had a great time, I had a few glasses of wine which helped me to relax, mum kadi accompanied me by having a drink that she does not even finish, faith couldn't take it because of his condition but I was really into it, at least like that when I go upstairs I'll sleep straight away without thinking about things that make you sad

When we finish we say good night and we separate, faith goes up to her room with a tray for Christopher who didn't want to eat, mum kadi goes back to her room I go straight up to my room and where I fall straight into sleep