SIXTY-TWO
**-Ryan’s POV-**
I bite my nails and stare at the white face of my mate. I’ve been pacing since the doctors were done with her and rolled her bed in the room. “Sit down, Ryan. You’re pacing isn’t making her wake up sooner.” Scott says, irritated.
I sigh, but listen and sit down next to Indy’s bed. I put my hands in my face and think about what happened. I think about the worried mindlink I got from Autumn, explaining we needed to come down to the hospital because Indy was bleeding. Apparently Storm was already carrying her to the hospital. Instead of going to the hospital, I followed Indy’s scent and met Strom halfway. I pulled her out of his arms, saying sorry and feeling guilty all of the sudden. I shouldn’t have let her go that afternoon. I felt so hopeless! My wolf smelled her blood and I could feel his anger: our mate is hurt!
“Ryan, there’s nothing we could do. The doctor said it was inevitable, remember?” I hear Scott’s voice, almost if he could read my mind. But who am I kidding? It’s my brother, twin brother to be exactly, and we share two bonds: the family- and mate bond. Of course he’s sensing my emotions, the same way I can ‘read’ his right now. I mean, without looking at him I can already tell his face is as white as Indy’s. I imagine his frown and worried look on his face, his tense jaws. He’s suffering, even more than I am.
“How are we going to tell her the news, Ryan?” Scott’s almost whispering.
I look up and indeed see all the things I imagined a few moments ago. But I see something else too: tears. His eyes are watery and I can tell he cried. “I really have no idea, Scott. Maybe it’s better for you to tell her. You were the father, anyway.”
Saying those words out loud is making my wolf growl in my head. I take a deep breath, immediately feeling sorry. I’m feeling the contradiction in my body: my head and heart are not experiencing the same right now. I’m also a bit jealous of my wolf, being an animal. He’s experiencing more ‘raw’ feelings and is acting from instinct. His mate is pregnant, so he’s ready to be the father of her pup or pups. It doesn’t matter if he maybe is not biologically the baby’s father, his mate is pregnant and that’s all that matters to him. Of course it would be different if the father wasn’t one of us, her mates. But that’s not the case right now.
“I think you should be here too, bro.” Scott answers.
“Why, Scott? My mate was pregnant, but not from my pups. It was technically not possible. You can’t blame me for not being as excited as you are. Or was. I don’t care. I feel sick of worry right now, because of the state Indy’s in at the moment. And the news we have to tell her. She’s strong, but this news is going to break her. We know that.” I’m furious, not understanding why Scott is making a big deal out of this.
“RYAN!” Scott roars. “How can you say this? It’s OUR mate, don’t you EVER forget that! Forget your jealousy and your bruised ego, it’s not about you this time. Look at her. LOOK AT HER!”
I feel his aura bursting and although it isn’t affecting me, I can feel the intensity of his emotions. I look aside and stare, again, into her withe face. It’s because the monitor is showing us a heartbeat, otherwise I would believe she’s dead.
“She has experienced heavy blood loss. We almost lost her, Ryan!” Scott’s really panicking right now.
“She’s going to be fine, Scott. The doctor told us so. She’ll be fine in just a few days' rest.” I reply.
Scott walks up to me and stands still in front of me. “Fine. Leave if you want. You’re the one that can explain to her why you weren’t there when she needed you most. But I can tell you one thing: she maybe will be fine *physically* in a few days, but I’m certain she’s not ‘fine’ emotionally when she finds out that she lost not one, but both of her pups. OUR pups. Yes, they were as much yours as mine, Ryan. Why don’t you want to see that?”
We were both shocked when we heard her soft but broken voice: “....W-what? Are they gone? Both of them?”
---
**-Indy’s POV-**
It’s like I’m being thrown under a bus. Darkness really wants to take over but I have to know. But I know enough, just by looking at their faces. It’s slowly hitting me, the dream, the blood, being carried to the hospital… I close my eyes and feel tears coming up, like a wave that’s ready to break on the beach. My throat is slowly closing and I’ve trouble breathing.
“No.. No, not my babies.” I’m crying, sobbing, hyperventilating. I want to yell, to cry but at the same time I want to hide and let the darkness take over.
“Babe, I’m so sorry! I should’ve been there this afternoon. I shouldn’t have let you go to Autumn and…”
“Ryan, stop! You aren’t helping!”
I hear my mates bicker but I don’t even care. I feel a pain I’ve never experienced before, it’s ripping me apart and it literally feels like my heart has just broken.
“Ryan, get a doctor, she’s not breathing. Babe...Look at me.” I hear Scott’s voice, but I can’t focus on him.
“I’m so sorry, babies. I’m so so sorry!” Is all I can say. I curl myself up into a foetus position and cover my belly in an attempt to protect what’s inside. But I’m to late. I failed. I couldn’t protect them.
I feel my body shaking, I hear my heart rustle in my ears and it’s almost if I’m not even in my own body. Slowly, the darkness is getting in and I give up. “Take me, please..” are the last words I can press through my lips.
---
**-Scott’s POV-**
I watch Indy hyperventilating and there’s nothing I can do. I tried to speak to her, but it’s almost like she isn’t hearing me. The pain on her face is hitting me like a truck and I feel my chest clenching. “I’m so sorry babe, I’m so sorry…” is all I can whisper, while we wait for the doctor to come in.
I hold Indy and I’m overwhelmed by her emotions. I knew she would take it badly, but this? I feel tears coming up and I’m crying for her, for my lovely Indy. She doesn’t deserve this! I try not to think about my own pain, the pain I’ve been hiding all afternoon. I need to be here, for her. For our lovely Indy.
Ryan’s coming back with a doctor and she pushes us out of the room. We watch the doctor and a nurse taking care of Indy. I wrap an arm around Ryan’s shoulders, knowing he’s acting tough but goes through a rollercoaster of emotions too.
After ten minutes, Doctor Brown comes to us and explains: “She was hyperventilating, I guess you told her the news?”
I sigh, “Yes, but not as we planned though. She - uuhh - overheard an argument between Ryan and I. It went downhill from then.”
Doctor Brown touched my underarm, trying to comfort me. “It’s OK. This news can’t be brought ‘softly’. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, Alpha, King.” She looks at us and I nod my head.
“When will she wake up?” I ask the doctor.
“I’m not sure, we gave her something to relax and sleep. I know you want to watch her, but I can assure you she won’t be awake for at least three hours. Take some rest too, eat and take a shower. I’ll call you when anything changes.”
I stare at Ryan and he nods. “That sounds like a plan. Do you know what? I’ll go first and alternate you in an hour or so. It’s nice knowing she’s not alone in the hospital.”
“I agree. See you in a bit.” I nod at Ryan and thank Dr. Brown before I head back in the room.
I take a seat next to Indy and all I can think of is her pain and the loss of our babies. I know, miscarriage is not uncommon. I know it’s somehow a precautionary measure from mother nature. But the doctor also explained there’s probably a bit of bad luck involved too. We think she miscarried the littlest baby but also suffered from a haematoma in the uterus, what explained all the blood. Her uterus tried to push the haematoma and baby out of her belly with contractions, but the doctor couldn’t stop the contractions to save the other one.
I let my head rest on the bed and close my eyes. I probably drifted off for a few minutes when I heard the door open, that must be Ryan! “That’s quick…” I say while I turn around.
But it wasn’t Ryan, I’m staring into the black eyes of Raki.
---
Author's note: *Another update, it took me a few days to write this one to be honest. I know it's a tough one, but I wanted to create awareness around miscarriages. It's often a very unspoken theme, but happens more often than you realize! If this has happened to you too, I want to say: "You're strong, and I'm so sorry you had to go through all that." For a lot of woman, getting or staying pregnant is not a matter of course. Thanks for reading and I can promise the sun is going to shine soon, for Indy and her mates! Love you all, xxB.*
---