CHAPTER 42: FIRST OF MANY

**ARIA** 

My bones continue to ache, but not as bad as before. It's a little more manageable than before.

In the early morning light, Anna brings me a new set of clothes and informs me that I can take a shower if I need one. There's an adjoining bathroom which is almost as large as the bedroom, with marble countertops and floor. 

"Do you need help?" Anna asks me as I try to get off the bed. 

I barely have the energy to stand up and walk to it, even after so many hours of resting and sleeping. Apparently, the mistlock needs to leave my system so my wolf can return and I can heal. 

It still hasn't. 

"No, I'll be fine." I tell her while struggling to get up. 

The moment I do, I feel light-headed and I'm about to drop to the floor again before I catch myself on the side of the table nearby and hold myself steady with a hand pressed against my face as I try to balance myself on the other.

"Careful," She steps forward, holding out a hand to help. "Let me help you. The Alpha wouldn't like it if you got more bruises from the fall instead of healing. Come." I have no other choice but to let her aid me.

Alpha. Lucian. I can still feel him even when he's not here. His things. His rules. His staff helping me because he wouldn't like it if I got hurt. 

I don't want to be here longer than I should be, but escape seems so tiring. 

I allow Anna to guide me, and she does, she takes me into the bathroom and runs the shower before stepping out. 

"If you need anything, I'm right outside." I hear her. 

I strip off my clothes while holding onto the wall. The mirror is large, it's hard to miss the gash in my arm. It's ugly and deep, but thankfully, it's not bleeding.

My head pounds as I try to push my thoughts away and step into the shower.

The hot water hits me, washing over my body, and it immediately eases me. 

I needed this. 

Once I'm done, I change and leave the bathroom clothed. Outside, Anna is still waiting for me, and when she finds me alright, she smiles and gets me back to the bed. 

"Do you want something to eat?" She asks. "Or something to drink? I can make you tea or anything you wish for."

"No, I'm fine." I tell her. 

It's frustrating. Almost like torture. Not being able to feel my wolf, and the longer she's gone, the longer I can feel the agony building in my chest.

"Anna," I say, before she can head out the door again.

"Yes, dear?" She responds.

"Can I call someone?"

"Of course, you may." she quickly agrees. "I'll get you the phone from downstairs right away."

She is gone for less than two minutes before she comes back to me again, handing me a phone.

"It's all yours," she tells me. "You can use it for however long you wish. Just give it to me once you're done."

I thank her before dialling a number that is familiar to my memory. 

"Henry?" I say, my voice coming out a little weak.

"Aria! Hey, I was worried." Henry speaks. "Darius told me that you're—you've been sick since yesterday. What happened?"

My free hand goes against my forehead. 

Darius knew that Lucian was bringing me here? 

Uh, of course he did. 

"I'm doing better. I did get a little sick, but I'll be back in a bit. Don't worry," I ease him. "Are you fine?" 

"Yes, I was heading to the training grounds. But I'm glad to know that you're okay. You know you could've called yesterday. I had been so worried."

"Yesterday I was...too exhausted," I admit.

"Okay, then." I hear his smile.

I smile too.

"I'll talk to you soon," I say.

"You bet. Rest well."

I end the call, feeling better, a little lighter and relieved.

He is safe. He wasn't dragged in. He doesn't know. That's what's most important to me. He didn't suffer for what I did. And hopefully, he never does.

"Thank you, Anna," I say, the words flat as I hand over the phone back to her. That's all I needed it for. "Can you tell Lucian that I need to go home?" 

Her expression quickly turns to one of surprise.

"The Alpha has given strict instructions, dear. You are to rest here until he deems it safe for you to leave. He'll be back shortly, I'm sure." 

Deems it safe. The words curl in my stomach. He decides. He controls. 

"Please, just talk to him. I can't stay here."

Anna gives me a simple nod before leaving the door and shutting the door on her way out. I lean back against the headboard of the bed, just breathing in and out. 

Every time I close my eyes, something horrid appears, and it stays until I fall asleep. 

It's hours later when Lucian comes back to the room, and when he does, I'm awake and prepared to talk to him.

I need to get out of here. I need to get home, to where it's familiar, to where it's my place.

He sits down at the very side of the bed, and the way his gaze lands on me is so soft and warm that I don't even have the heart to stay mad at him anymore.

"You're looking better," he observes, and his hand comes to my forehead. His fingers slide to my temple, and then he pushes back the hair from my face. "I heard you were up this morning. Did you shower?"

"Yeah."

"How are you feeling?"

"A lot better. A lot, lot better," I tell him, trying to smile. "And I need to go home." I try to make him understand. "Please. I can't stay here."

"You'll have to." Lucian says.

"But why? I feel alright. I'm healing." I argue. I can feel it, and he can too.

"I know, and that's good." He nods. "I just want to ensure that you're okay before I can send you anywhere."

"I'm okay. I swear. Nothing else is wrong." My fingers grasp the sheet covering the bottom half of me.

He is still hesitant, I can tell.

"You don't need to worry. You're safe here."

"I feel like a prisoner." 

"You're not a prisoner." He says, "You're here to recover, and once I feel you're safe to move around, you can leave."

"Yes, I am! I feel exactly like that. You decide when I eat, when I sleep, when I take those disgusting pills, and when I'm fit enough. It's like I can't think on my own. I can't choose on my own. Exactly in the same way you told Darius to take me to that safe house when I told you I was perfectly fine—"

I don't finish the sentence. He moves abruptly, faster than I can see. His mouth is on mine, and my words die.

His hand cups my jaw, firm but gentle, and my breath catches in my throat when he presses against my lips.

It's a shock. The kiss.