Chapter 26: The interview

True to his word, Grant and I have texted since Sunday morning. The man had some great memes and enjoyed the numerous short videos I sent him. It felt like we were doing this a little out of order, but we were slowly getting to know one another as people. Last night, I called him to review the questions and their order for today to ensure we were both ready. His velvety voice did crazy things to my lady bits, and I wished he was with me. When shop talk finished, I blurted out how horny I was, and Grant laughed sexily before asking for another date. I readily agreed, talking until I drifted into sleep. I felt my cheek warm at the thought of going on another adventure. There were so many fun things to do, but I pushed date night ideas out of my head for now.

I double-checked with the film crew and asked if the photographer was ready. Both requested ten more minutes and then they would be good to go. I watched Grant pace back and forth in the interview room as everyone finished setting up. He was making me nervous with all the pacing. I knew something was wrong, but I wasn't sure what. We still needed to thoroughly discuss professional boundaries so we had a healthy balance between professional and personal. I sat in the make-up chair, and the artist added last-minute touch-ups. Grant pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and taking heavy short breaths. Yep, something was seriously wrong. I stood and walked over to him, ignoring the protests from the make-up artist. He only stopped pacing when I stepped directly in front of him.

"Hey, you good?"

Grant scowled, his voice sharp. "Of course. You'll stick to the questions exactly as we discussed last night, right?"

I nodded, "Yes, Grant. I won't let you down this time."

His face gets an odd look, "It's okay. You didn't let me down. I, Ah... It's all good."

"Letty, we are ready to go." Someone calls me.

I glance back at Grant and open my mouth to reassure him, but he gives me that cocky smile, "Ready?"

Grant follows me to the chairs, and that falseness he always uses around other people comes out. My insecurities were at the forefront of my mind making it difficult to concentrate on the interview so I shook my head. Grant wasn’t Ben. He wasn’t putting on a mask to humiliate me or cause conflict there was something else going on. I wouldn’t project my past experiences on this new relationship. Grant had proven multiple times that he was different that there was no ulterior motives to his actions. I glanced at him again and the doubt was screaming at me now. There had to be a reason he was so distant and fake right now. Maybe I didn’t know him that well. I mean how well could you know a person after on a few weeks of spending time together. Sure the sex was amazing, incredible even but sex didn’t involve intimate feelings. It could connect two people on another level but overall you could have sex without really knowing someone.

The insecurities continued to swirl around in my head as someone counted down to begin the show. I closed my eyes for a second remembering the open honesty and communication I’ve had with Grant so far. I couldn’t let these insecurities drown me again. I won’t let it distract me. This interview was too essential, but once it was over, I would confront him. I follow through with the opening statements, introducing Grant, and then I go through the questions one at a time, exactly how the list showed them. The interview continued like this for about half an hour. Every time I took a moment to study Grant, his carefree demeanor didn't match the white knuckles tearing into the arm of the chair or the way his ears looked red at the tip. I wouldn't have noticed these little things if I didn't know Grant. I turned toward the camera, saying my ending lines, and silently waited until I heard 'Cut'.

Once the camera stopped rolling, I turned to where Grant had been, only to find the seat empty. I glanced around and saw him rushing through the recording equipment. I dislodged the sound system from my dress, removing the sweater and leaving just a slim dress. It felt better not having that heat trapping sweater on as I trotted after where I had seen Grant disappear, finding him facing a wall in a dimly lit hallway. He was pulling at his tie with one hand and supporting his weight against the wall with the other. Grant's forehead was pressed firmly on the cool plaster.

I stopped walking and watched as his chest heaved in deep breaths. I could barely see his hand shake as it dropped to his side. I stepped forward, and my heel clicked louder than I intended. Grant's eyes cut to mine, his body suddenly rigid.

“There you are, beautiful.” I teased trying to ease the tension surrounding him, but it had little effect.

Grant inhaled, not relaxing in the slightest, and struggled to put that facade back in place. "Hey... I... Ah... I will be okay in a few minutes if you need me to do anything else."

I watched as his hand visibly trembled. Working in media, I knew these signs. It was very obvious now why there was such a difference in his body language and his easygoing mask. I raised an eyebrow at him, "Stage fright?"

He scoffed and ran his hand through his hair, sticking it up at odd angles, "Yeah. It's pathetic."

"Is this why you walk out of interviews?" I ask.

Grant closes his eyes with shame, nodding slightly. "When I can't practice, I get so panicky that my mind goes blank. I get that fight-or-flight response."

I gently smile, "So you choose flight."

"I can't fight everyone, Letty." He chuckled but it was a sad, stressed sound. Grant pressed his back against the wall, sliding down slightly and scrubbing his face with his hands. "I can skate in front of thousands of people, but being asked questions about my personal life scares the shit out of me."

I stepped my leg over his feet, and I straddled his legs. I loosely grabbed his hands and stared into his whirlpool eyes, "Stage fright is common for people who have been in the public eye for so long. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I release you from your bet obligations as they are completed."

Grant's sad smile made me want to kiss him. As if he could read my mind, Grant captured my lips, pulling me close. I giggled when he nibbled my lower lip and stepped away, "I have to finish up, but I won't head back if you need me."

Grant's smile widened softly, and he reached out to me. We froze when we heard a loud bang. A slight annoyance replaced any other expression on either of our faces as a neurotic-looking man shuffled down the hallway. "Sir, this is where you were! I've been looking all over for you!"