Chapter 19 Chapter 19
ALINA
The doctor had been stunned by how quickly I'd recovered. Just hours ago, I'd been weak and pale, barely able to sit up, and now I felt almost normal. The lingering ache in my body had lessened, and I could feel strength returning to my limbs. The doctor told me it was a miracle, but I didn't feel miraculous. I felt restless. I did not know how the hell I was able to heal in such a little time when I did not have a wolf. I always knew I was abnormal. I was an anomaly and there were a lot of strange things about me. This was one of the mysteries surrounding me that I did not seem to understand.
"Your body seems to be healing faster than we expected," the doctor said as he checked my temperature and vitals, his eyes wide with surprise. "But you need to take it slow, for the baby. Start with short walks around the palace to regain your strength and please finish your food whenever it is served to you. I have sent your meal plan to the cooks and even the portions are going to be monitored. You need to do this for your baby."
I nodded, even though a sense of dread immediately dawned on me. The thought of wandering through these halls again, of being reminded of all the memories I'd tried to bury, made my stomach twist. But I knew I had to do it for the baby and for myself. I nodded slowly, agreeing to the doctor's advice, even though every part of me wanted to stay hidden away. I had been dreading the day I was going to see all of the people I saw when I first came to the pack.
Jezebel, the coordinator of the harem. Lydia, the queen of the harem, and Katy, my silent roommate, that acted coldly towards me and ignored me. I wondered what they would think of me now when they saw me. I had power over them, but I would still feel inferior. It was the default mode I was always in. I have been shamed and ridiculed all my life, so I was not exactly the best at standing up for myself.
When the doctor was gone, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the room, my legs feeling strangely light as I made my way down the long hallway. The familiar sights of the palace came flooding back to me, each step stirring up memories of the last time I was here, three months ago. I went downstairs, my hand trailing down the bannister. As I reached the main floor, I saw a crowd of people. I paused when all of their eyes turned to face me, and my heart rate increased.
I immediately recognized them as the women in the harem, dressed in their usual revealing clothes. I remembered when I was made to wear that silk outfit too and I felt a surge of irritation. I had hoped-no, expected—that Kai would have dismissed them if he truly meant what he said about wanting me back as his mate. I caught sight of Lydia and Katy lingering by the corner. The moment they saw me, their expressions darkened, and they began to walk toward me.
My heart quickened but I tried to stand tall, to keep my face calm. I did not want to give them the satisfaction of making me look intimidated even though I really was.
"What do you want?" I asked, crossing my arms on my chest.
"How did you do it?" Lydia sneered, her eyes narrowing. "How did you get him to dismiss you from the harem and give you a personal room in the palace?"
Katy snarled, a dangerous gleam in her eyes. "Yeah, what kind of trick did you pull, Alina? You're no one special." She spat. Those were the longest I have ever heard her speak, and it was too bad that she was insulting me.
"Leave me alone," I said firmly, taking a step back. But Katy grabbed a fistful of my hair, yanking at the grey streak that had always marked me as different. Pain shot through my scalp, and I winced, trying not to cry out.
"Are you a witch?" Lydia hissed, her grip tightening. "I've always thought there was something strange about you. That ugly hair of yours."
I jerked away, my heart racing. "Just leave me alone," I repeated, my voice trembling despite my effort to sound strong. Suddenly, I felt like I was back in my pack. Beck and her friends teased me, hurting me, and disgracing me. I felt tears sting my eyes as I begged for her to leave me alone.
Lydia let go of my hair and stepped back. I raised my eyes to look at them and I saw Kai standing at the end of the hallway, his face dark with anger. He strode over, his posture rigid, his jaw clenched.
"What the hell were you doing to her?" He demanded, eyes blazing and his jaw clenched.
"We were just telling her something. Congratulating her on her pregnancy." Lydia began, her voice low and flirty. I felt an anger claw up my throat but I did not let it show.
"You are never going to talk to her again. Do you hear me?" He snapped, moving closer to me and putting his arm around my waist. I did not want him to let him touch me like that but I let him just for a moment, if only to see the jealous looks on Katy's and Lydia's faces. They exchanged a quick glance, then scurried away, their faces red with frustration.
As soon as they were gone, I pulled away from Kai's touch, stepping back. His dark hair fell over his forehead, and his eyes were filled with concern. We stood there for a beat just staring at each other. When I realised what was going on, I looked away, " Thank you," I mumbled before I turned back to the stairs, deciding that I had had enough for today.
Kai followed me as I began to walk away. "Alina, wait," he called, quickening his pace to catch up to me. "How are you feeling?"
I didn't answer, keeping my eyes fixed straight ahead. I wasn't in the mood to talk, especially not to him. I could still feel the burn of Lydia's fingers on my scalp, and the sting of her words. Fuck them. Fuck all of them. I have never done a thing to annoy someone so why does everyone hate me? Why was I so unlikable even though I try my best to be nice to people? Am I really that hideous looking? Was that why no one could genuinely ever like me- not romantically or even platonic?
"Alina," Kai said again, more insistently. "Why aren't you speaking to me?"
I stopped abruptly, turning to face him. The guts he had to ask me that. There was everything wrong with me right now. If he really wanted me as he said, then he would not have a damn pleasure squad at his disposal. "Why do you think?" I snapped, my frustration spilling over.
"I have not done anything wrong today." His eyes dilated, looking almost innocent.
"You claim you want me back, but you still keep a harem. You're still surrounded by them. How am I supposed to believe you mean anything you say?"
His jaw slacked for a moment before he replied, "I haven't touched any of them since that night three months ago."
I laughed, the sound bitter and sharp. "Do you think I'm a fool, Kai? You think you can just like me and get away with it?"
His mouth opened as if he wanted to say more, but I didn't give him the chance. I turned on my heel and walked quickly upstairs, toward my room, with my heart pounding with anger. I heard his footsteps following behind me, but I didn't slow down.
"Alina, wait," he called, but I ignored him, reaching my door and stepping inside quickly. I slammed the door shut, feeling a surge of satisfaction at the sound.
I leaned against the door, breathing hard, my mind racing. I wanted to scream, to cry, to tear my hair out. Why was the world so cruel to me? I felt his presence at the other side of the door, and my heart squeezed in my chest. I could still feel his touch on my waist, his hand warm and firm, and I hated that part of me didn't hate it. I felt like I even wanted more of it, which was a bad fucking idea.
I pressed my palms against my eyes, trying to block out the thoughts, and the emotions swirling inside me. I couldn't let myself feel anything for him. I couldn't afford to. He was just playing games, trying to manipulate me, and I wouldn't fall for it again. But as I stood there, my heart still racing, I knew it wasn't that simple. I knew that Kai still had a hold on me, a pull that I didn't want to admit, even to myself. I closed my eyes, trying to push it all away, to find some calm in the storm inside me. But even as I did, his face stayed in my mind, and I couldn't help but wonder how good it would feel if indeed, he wanted me and this was not one of his sick twisted games.