42

What happened after the apartment became a blurry confusion. I remembered the unfamiliar voices, the faces hovering over me, studying me, observing; the white lights that made my eye tear up and hurt. The twins watching me from the closed windows, my father sitting by the bed. There was no day or night, I was constantly consumed by immediate relief and slept without dreams.

The pain was nonexistent, and that was all that mattered to me.

When the white room was replaced by my own room, the pain and discomfort seemed to stick to me like leeches. At first, only my father and the nurse entered my room. They talked to me, telling me things I didn't care to understand or just couldn't. The woman with pale skin and angular eyes fed me and changed my clothes, and no matter how many times I asked for my phone, they just ignored me.

The nurse's presence lessened when I began using the bathroom alone, she only cleaned my wounds and changed the bandages. Sitting on the bed, I reached my hand to the injury, the bandages were wrapped around my head, completely covering my left eye, and my gums still hurt.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice they had entered the room until they stopped in front of me.

Shin was wearing his academy uniform, his wavy hair and several silver rings. It was so good to see him.

"How long?" I asked, breaking our silence.

"2 months," he answered without hesitation, stealing my breath.

2 months to recover from the mess that happened. 2 months without Matias and another 2 months away from Hebi.

"Your father told me you almost lost your eyesight in that eye, broke your nose, and lost 3 teeth, not to mention the concussion. Hataki banned all visitors until you were at least somewhat okay," he explained, leaving me paralyzed.

I breathed slowly, trying not to think about everything that happened, about all the time I was away.

"Did you tell Matias I'm okay?" I finally asked.

Shin tensed his jaw and looked at me as if he didn’t believe my words.

"I just told you all the crap that happened, and your first thought is about the bastard who did this to you?" he criticized, furrowing his dark eyebrows.

"He had no choice!" I retorted, irritated.

"Fuck that!" he spat, forcing himself to stay still. "Fuck that little shit. He ruined your face, left you unconscious in a bed for weeks, and you’re still trying to defend him? What the hell happened to you, Ryuuji?" he asked, holding the weight of my stare. "How can you be with a Lily?" His question was full of venom and rage.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Out of so many guys, why did it have to be him?" he asked, taking a step toward me.

"Is all this anger because he’s a Lily or because of my feelings for him?" I asked, making him step back as if I slapped him.

His eyes narrowed, and I saw him clench his lips tightly, holding back the words that would make him regret it.

"Do you really think I like the fact that he’s a Lily or that I’m a Hebi? We hate all of this with every fiber of our bodies, but the night I left the reform school, we talked, drank together, and fucked without knowing who we were," I told him, remembering our first night, feeling a sweet taste invade my mouth with the beautiful memory. "And that night we met, when we fought like two stupid crazy people, was when we found out what world we belonged to, and you have no idea how much that destroyed me," I confessed, resting my head on the soft pillow, ignoring the hunger that started invading me when the effect of the medicine began to wear off.

Shin remained silent, fists clenched, and a blank stare. I sent him a small smile, reading his intense jealousy and repressed sadness.

"But honestly, my desire was much bigger than all this shit. I wanted him, and I went after him until he said ‘yes.’ You, more than anyone, know my obsessions. If Matias wasn’t mine, he wouldn’t be anyone else’s," I declared, gripping the sheet tightly.

"So, Kaleo..." he murmured, piecing it together.

I avoided his gaze when he touched his own face, remembering what Matias did, why he chose him.

"He doesn't like to share either," I answered softly.

Shin stayed quiet, catching my restless gaze, but he stared at me as if he didn’t recognize me, the boy he had always loved and known since childhood.

"Do you love him?" he asked, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

My lips parted; I knew what he wanted to hear. There was only one answer that could comfort his heart, an answer I couldn’t give. I closed my mouth and continued staring at him, but my decision was answer enough, and it hurt to see another kind of pain consume his face.

"You always said I’d be the only one to have your love," he remembered, forcing a smile.

"I can love two people, Shin," I said softly, hoping he’d understand.

He turned toward the windows and ran his hand through his hair. Long minutes passed with him standing, watching the forest, not knowing what to do.

"It’s okay to be angry with me, I know you’re hurt and disappointed in me," I said, but he refused to look at me. "I know it must hurt, but this will pass, and everything will go back to the way it was," I assured, thinking of our last breakup, how we spent long nights without talking to each other. We were hurt and angry with each other, but everything became temporary. Shin and I loved each other more than anything, we would always come back to each other. "Shin?" I whispered.

Shin ignored me and went toward the door.

"I need my phone," I said, forcing him to stop in the middle of the room. Shin turned with disgust.

"I know you have it, I need it," I declared seriously.

"No," he answered harshly.

"What?"

"No, I’m not giving you your phone back," he said, turning around and leaving the room.

His refusal made my chest burn. Shin had never said no to me, never denied me anything, and I hated every sound that came out of his mouth. I bit my lip, directing my attention to the calm forest. It had been two months since Matias had heard from me.

I needed to do something.