Lost Girl (4)

"He's so big and bad!"

"Look, he's like a monster in a cartoon!"

"I'm scared of him! He could eat me!"

"He made Christopher cry again today, he was really mean."

I heard all the kids' comments while devouring a cheeseburger that I snatched from the lunch of a whiny kid named Christopher.

He was sobbing in the corner while everyone looked at me like a terrible monster.

Well, I can't blame them if they hate me. I also know that from the start I was not meant to be loved. I only live as my dead brother just to see my father can laugh again.

"I'm still hungry," I muttered after finishing two portions of lunch, mine and the crybaby's.

He kept crying and his crying annoyed me. For some reason it reminds me of Lucas who can only whine if something doesn't go his way. People like that must have a very easy life, right?

I walked with a stomach that was starting to get full but with hunger still tormenting me. I need more food and I have to get it somehow.

I walked towards a group of boys who were silent in fear. This is the third day I've been here and I'm starting to get bored because I can't get more food than I need.

"D-don't! You stole my food yesterday! Today I won't let you do it again!" Said the blonde boy whose looks annoyed me.

"Get out of my way!" I said while pulling and pushing him away.

My eyes fell on the backpack worn by the boy whose bicycle I had borrowed the other day. He looked at me flatly and I was pretty sure he brought a delicious lunch today.

"That's enough! Don't bother your friends!" He said while holding back his fear by pretending to be brave enough to face me.

I'm bigger and stronger, of course he won't be able to beat me. So it's useless to stop me.

"I'm hungry! Give me your lunch!"

"Hungry monster, you very greedy pig...!" The blonde boy shouted at me arrogantly even though I had just pushed him to the ground."

"Shut up you ugly monkey!"

"M-monkey? Who's a monkey? I've never been called something like that. I'm going to complain to the teacher!"

He whined and ran like a defeated sumo wrestler, it was really pathetic. Tomorrow I will definitely get the supplies again.

I feel very happy when I eat and all the strange and uncomfortable feelings that I have in my heart disappear when I eat. But that happiness ended after my mother decided to take me to the hospital because she thought I was too fat.

As my mother was worried, the doctor said that I had binge eating disorder which caused me to become obese. Even though the doctor said that it happened due to emotional disorders and stress, my mother didn't think so. She never thought that a child could experience stress because they did nothing but play. She did not try to treat the emotional disorders that occurred to me and preferred to force me to go on an extreme, unnatural diet.

"Just this, mom?" I looked at her with a pitiful face. Today she served me a glass of milk for breakfast without any other food that I was allowed to eat.

Just like the previous days, she just forced me to eat plain yogurt in the morning and prepare a slice of white bread with lettuce.

"You're on a diet, so you can't eat too much!" She said coldly.

"But I'm so hungry! I want to eat bread with ham and cheese!" I started whining. It's been a week since my mother forced me to diet and I wake up every night because of excruciating hunger.

My dad who had just come into the dining room, looked at me who was crying because he couldn't eat properly. I hope hevwill defend me and ask mother to give me food.

"You are very fat, starting this afternoon I will train you in karate to reduce your weight and make you a strong child!" Dad said.

"But I'm so hungry, give me cereal, I want cereal!"

"Why are you so stubborn? Look at you, you're like a pig! Anyway, you can only drink milk for breakfast, the kindergarten bus will come soon!"

Cruel, I feel like my mother is becoming increasingly cruel and my father is not showing any power at all to oppose her. Maybe what he thinks is the same as my mother, I'm too fat and I shouldn't eat anything.

This excruciating feeling lasted for three months and I started losing weight drastically before graduating from kindergarten. How come? I only eat plain yogurt in the morning, bread with lettuce and a little ham in the afternoon and only drink milk at night.

Apart from that, almost every afternoon my father forced me to practice karate with him when my body was very weak.

"You're so weak! You should be able to give a stronger kick!" Dad scolded me because I didn't give kicks like he taught me.

"Dad, I'm hungry. I want to eat!" I asked while holding my stomach which kept making noises.

"Tonight I'll ask your mom to give you some cereal if you can do a good kick!"

"Really? Can I have cereal tonight?"

"Only if you can do it well. But if not, you can only drink a glass of milk!"

"Okay, daddy!"

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