Chapter 45 CHAPTER 45

Chapter 45 CHAPTER 45
My heart hammered at the implications, beating faster when I felt something long and hard poking my stomach.

What. The. Hell.

If he thought I was going to sleep with him just because he defended me today, he had another thing coming.

"If you don't get off me, I'm not kissing you again," I threatened darkly
.
Cross's eyes widened. A soft gasp left him before he collapsed on top of me like a dramatic starfish.

"Get off!"

Forrest groaned. "Give me a second..I'm reeling it back in. I didn't handle it in the shower."

"I didn't do anything for you to get all..all…"

"Horny?" Cross filled in. "You don't have to do much to turn me on." His voice turned softer, more thoughtful. "This must be what happens when you actually like someone."

His chest rose and fell against mine, a silent hum when he spoke. Despite everything, his weight over me felt...comforting. I'd never been this close to a boy before, much less someone built like him. I closed my eyes and let my body relax into his. After what felt like forever, Cross finally pushed himself off, but not before stealing a soft, lingering kiss.

He took the liberty of getting dressed in front of me. I looked down, attempting to give him privacy, but at one point my curiosity won over and I peeked. I saw him in boxers, what difference does it make if I see him getting dressed?

Cross must've been watching me, because the moment I peeked his gaze was waiting for me.

"You can look all you want, babygirl," he encouraged, winking. The corner of his mouth curved impishly. "It's all yours."

I found myself looking away in embarrassment. Fully dressed now, Cross joined me on his bed again. This time he sat in front of me with his legs crossed. I mirrored him, letting our knees touch. His thumb rose to brush my cheeks, still flushed from all teasing. He was smiling like a satisfied cat. No...more like a leopard. His gaze was too feral and dangerous to be likened to a cat.

"Are we doing question for question now?" I asked. I'd been looking forward to this since the day he offered in technology class.

"Yes. We can start light." He leaned in. "First question: why do you barely hang out with girls?"

A knot twisted inside my throat. I hadn't expected that. In the past I'd avoided this topic because it was uncomfortable, but maybe this was good. I wanted Cross and I to get closer.

"I think... because when I was younger, girls were the ones who bullied me. So I started to associate girls with trouble."

"How did they bully you?"

"That's two questions!"

His teeth flashed. "If I ask two in a row you'll get to do the same. I'll tell you when it's your turn. Answer me, Clara."

I huffed at his new set of rules. "In middle school there were some girls..." I fiddled with my fingers. "I didn't have an issue with them until a boy told me he liked me. He happened to be one of their crushes. When they found out the bullying started. I remember them saying 'who does she think she is', 'trying way too hard', 'attention whore', things like that."

Forrest's expression darkened.

"It hurt, but I decided I wasn't going to pay any mind to it. Until their pranks got worse. They ripped my shirt. Cut my skirt. One time they even put a piece of gum on my hair. I ended up having to get a bob cut after that. I hid it from my mom because I was scared. It was relentless until one day I wore the most plain, baggy clothes. I figured if they cut it, there'd still be fabric left. But instead...they ignored me. Suddenly, I wasn't a threat anymore. They stopped paying attention to me."

My voice wavered. "I just..never stopped dressing like that. Baggy clothes felt safe. When I wore them people left me alone."

Cross's hand closed over mine, halting my mindless fidgeting. "What they did to you is horrible. They were jealous because you're beautiful." He lifted our joined hands, pressing a kiss to each of my fingers. "Beautiful, and you hardly even try."

He guided my hands to his face, pressing my palms against his cheeks. He closed his eyes and exhaled like my touch was something he'd been starving for.

"I'm a bad person," he said, voice low.

"Why?"

"Because I hate what those girls did to you." His voice dipped, conflicted. "But I'm glad you wore baggy clothes most of high school. I liked having you to myself. I felt like I found a hidden pearl no one else noticed. Even if the pearl didn't want me."

A giggle slipped out. "Cross, you were a playboy. You did not care about me back then. Stop with the theatrics."

His eyes opened, boring into mine with something more tumultuous. "I always noticed you," he said quietly. "Always."

Before I could respond, he dove into another question. "What made you change your mind? Why the makeover?"

I swallowed. "A couple of things. I was ready for change. But also, Kevin cheating on me made me very insecure," I admitted. "Amy was always the pretty one. The day Kevin asked me out, I thought finally, a boy likes me. So when he cheated on me the first day, it really destroyed my self-esteem."

He kissed my palm. "You know I did that to protect you, right?"

I scoffed, pulling my hands away from his face like it burned. His hands twitched like he wanted to grab them again, but knew better. An old pain I thought I'd buried resurfaced.

"That was a jerk move," I whispered. "You didn't have to humiliate me like that to prove a point."

"How else were you going to believe me? I showed you the dog he was."

"You could've just told me!"

"Tell you?" he laughed darkly, "you fucking dated him in one day. One fucking day while I've been in your life since sophomore year…”

"You weren't good for me either. It's not until recently you stopped being a player."

"I would've stopped for you," he said coldly. "If you just showed any fucking interest I would've stopped."

"You told me you weren't ready for a relationship two weeks ago!" I shot back.

"Because I never thought being with you was possible. Once I realized it was, I got ready for you. I cut everyone off. I would've done the same earlier if you'd given me a chance."

A tense silence hung between us.

"You told me," I started, and damn it, why was there a sting behind my eyes. "that Amy and I were on opposite sides of the spectrum and that's why Kevin cheated on me. How was I supposed to take that?"

Tears blurred my vision again, hot and humiliating. This was supposed to be question for question, but now it felt like all the skeletons were coming out.

Cross cursed and pulled me over his lap, wrapping my legs around him so we were face to face.

"I’m sorry. I'm sorry," he repeated, wiping my tears. His brows pinched together, guilt carved into every line as he searched my tear-streaked face for forgiveness. "You and Amy are different, but I made it sound ugly that day because you said you hated me. I was angry. But that doesn't excuse me from saying that. I'm sorry."

Cross brushed beneath my eyes again. I could imagine how red and puffy my face looked. Groaning, I hid in the curve of his neck. He'd seen me cry enough times today, it was annoying.

"I know I said mean things in the past." I felt his throat constrict as he swallowed thickly. "I think I was resentful that you didn't like me. You were always very affectionate with Theodore, but kept your distance with me. I hated it. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," I mumbled, inhaling the warmth of his skin.

His apology, his arms around me. The sincerity in his voice. It untangled something inside me.

Cross rubbed my back, nose burying into my hair.

"Your turn," he murmured. "You get to ask three questions."

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A/N: Part two of our questions and confessions coming up tomorrow...
I initially wanted to fit it all into this chapter but there's so much to unpack so we're going to do two parts.
Anyways, what do we think eh????
Do we love?
Tell me your thoughts in the comments, I'd love to hear them.