Chapter 20 Because he's not me
Nico POV
My hand inched over her jaw, down her neck. Her skin was soft beneath my fingertips, like silk. And when I felt the vein in her neck pulse to the rhythm of her heart against my palm, a lightning bolt of extreme, dangerous desire shot down my spine causing my cock to ache like a motherfucker. It was like my body had a will of its own, defying my mind around every fucking turn when it came to this woman.
Down, and down my hand inched, my eyes already focused on the destination. Supple, round, slightly more than a palm-full sized breast with a pretty pink nipple begging to be tugged, squeezed and pinched.
"Are you wondering how many times your brother sucked them?"
My eyes shot up to meet hers which were cold and hard as she stared at my face.
"The first time I stood in front of him naked, he stared at my breasts the exact same way you are now."
My heart stammered, and my lungs deflated as a rush of air escaped me.
"He told me that I had the most beautiful breasts he had ever seen. And that night, he sucked them both until they were swollen and red."
As if she managed to ignite a goddamn inferno beneath her skin, I pulled my hand away from her like touching her had burned my palm.
"What are you doing?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what kind of game she was trying to play.
She lifted her chin, newfound confidence beaming from her eyes. "I'm just telling you the story. The story of Nikolai and lila, best friends...even better lovers."
"I know what you're trying to do."
She smiled, her lips pale and dry. "And what is it that I'm trying to do?"
I shifted, bringing my cheek right up against hers, placing my lips by her ear. "You think that placing images of my brother fucking you would stop images of me fucking you from entering my mind."
A rush of air moved across my neck as she sucked in a breath, and I inched forward. "That's right, little pet. My mind is filled with images of me fucking you right now. And let me assure you, knowing that my brother fucked you does not stop my cock from getting hard when I look at you bound by chains with your tits hanging out. But let me ask you this, lila. Did he fuck you like you wanted to be fucked? Did my brother feed your deepest...darkest...most forbidden desires?"
The only sound was that of her heavy breathing, her hot breath coating my skin. With a quick sideway glance my gaze swept toward Damon and his friends, all still laughing and enjoying copious amounts of alcohol.
I grabbed her hip and my fingers speared her flesh. "I knew my brother better than anyone else, and I know for a fact he didn't have it in him to give you what you crave."
"What do you think it is that I crave?" Her lips were so close, I felt it brush against my cheeks.
Slow, leisurely strokes, I moved my hand up the side of her body pushing the tattered fabric of the rag back. The closer I moved my fingers to her breasts, the deeper she started to breathe, the more my cock started to ache.
"You crave something you've never had. I bet you fantasize about it, feeling pain at the exact same time an orgasm rips through your body." My fingertip started to slowly circle her nipple, and I pushed my lips harder against her ear. "How many times have you touched yourself, played with your own pussy, fantasizing about what society deems taboo?"
"Don't"
"I know my brother never gave you that. Do you want to know how I know?"
"How?" she whispered, and I sucked her earlobe between my lips before letting it go with a pop.
"Because he's not me."
Lila POV
I have never hated my body before and I never needed to but right now, I loathed my traitorous body, cursed every damn part of me that responded to him, his touch, every promise hidden within his words.
He was a bastard filthy, twisted son of a bitch who kidnapped women, holding them against their will. He was a man without conscience, a psycho who didn’t think twice about cutting off fingers and gifting them to his prisoners.
Yet his touch somehow managed to burn me from the inside out, causing my body to betray me in the worst possible way. The wetness currently pooled between my legs was the twisted evidence of my own depravity.
How could my body want him?
How could the mere prospect of him giving me pain melted together with pleasure make me want him?
Was it because he looked so much like Nikolai, the man I thought I loved once? Was it the similarities between them that started to pull me toward him? Or was I really as fucked up as most people in my family had suspected all these years?
Everything Nico said was true. Nikolai was a good lover, but there were nights I craved more, where I wished he would treat me more like a sex toy than a damn porcelain doll.
There were times when he fucked me from behind when I wished he would pull my hair and wrap his hand around my throat, to squeeze while pushing me to the very edge of what my body could take. I wanted him to tie me up, to make my body his playground, and to not hold anything back.
Some mornings I would stare at my naked body in the mirror, wishing I could see the bruised evidence of how thoroughly he had used me. I wanted him to paint my body with his pleasure, branding me, marking me as his. But he never did.
It was a part of me I suppressed every day, a part of me I didn’t want to acknowledge. Like Nico had said earlier, it was all things society had dubbed as taboo, twisted and completely unacceptable.
And now, during the most fucked up time in my life, stuck in this horrific situation, the man who held me prisoner managed to make all those cravings and desires come back up to the surface.
Nico turned around and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with all the other men. For some reason I found it horrifying, being there without him.
When Damon approached me earlier, swearing at me, degrading me, threatening me, Nico stepped up and put a stop to it. Not that I think he was in any way concerned about my safety, but rather it being more a way of showing little brother who was in charge.
But still…I was secretly grateful. The entire time Damon had his hands on me I was wound so tight that my entire body went rigid, my wrists twisting in the cuffs, the metal slicing through my skin.