Chapter Fifteen — Just Disappointed, Not Heartbroken

Irene’s POV:

I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss with Will last night. It was everything I always thought a kiss should feel like and was completely different from what it felt like with Mark or any other person I ever made out with. It felt like love, like we were really in love, and I hated that because he was a friend and having a relationship with him is dangerous because if we ever happen to break up I would lose my relationship with him as a friend and a lover, and asides that I just got out of a relationship so maybe I actually really needed to chill and slow down. I decided to fight off any thought of Will that comes to my head. Maybe he doesn’t even feel the same way and I was only imagining things. There’s no way I would risk our relationship as friends ending. Not now or ever.

I was hoping he wouldn’t talk about it but then he did, he apologized for kissing me and somehow I felt hurt. I wish he wasn’t sorry, I wish he enjoyed it as much as I did and he felt something intense during the kiss, but I was kind of expecting this too. I mean, he’s way out of my league.

I somehow managed to get thoughts of the kiss off my mind till he called me and said he had something important to talk about. A part of me said I should avoid him in every way possible but another part was hoping he wanted to talk about the kiss so I decided to go see him at his office. What's the worst that could happen? I actually got faced with the worst that could happen. I was being so delusional thinking we could have something together. A strange lady was making out with him in his office.

“You can leave,” he said to me.

“Why? Baby, feel free to talk about whatever; you know I will be working with you next week and you really don’t have to hide anything from me,” she used her thumb to smudge his cheek. They must be really close. I knew the kiss we had was an obvious mistake.

“Uhm, I was in the middle of something very important with my boss I only came to give this to you” I moved closer and pointed the documents I was holding to him which got swiped out of my hand by the annoying lady. I had taken the documents with me so if we were having a personal moment or someone sees me going in I could have an excuse about wanting to give him the document he requested for. It turned out to be a live saving idea.

I turned back immediately and walked out.

Somehow I don’t feel heartbroken. I’m just disappointed but that doesn’t mean I will stop being friends with Will. He is a cool person and I am not going to let just one meaningless kiss we had, spoil our relationship as friends.

I got back to my office to see a note from my boss.

'See me,' it read.

I guess she must have called while I was at Will’s office. Such wrong timing! I let out a sigh as I made my way to her office.

“Good morning” I smiled.

“Good morning Irene” she replied “Great Friday wear” she made a face that showed she wasn’t pleased with it.

“Uhm, someone spilled a drink on my shirt and this was all I had left to wear” I said. Now I remember I left my clothes over at Will’s house. How did I forget?

“Oh, I don’t have a problem with that or what you’re wearing. I’m just not a fan of the designer” she looked at the joggers one more time.

“Congratulations on the deal. I knew you could pull it off, you have really great potentials and that’s why you will be working really hard with me” she pointed towards a hamper.

I gave a confusing look trying to understand what she was saying.

“It’s for you” she said.

“Oh, Wow. Thank you so much” I replied.

“You’re welcome Irene. Kindly work on the documents I sent to your mail and send it to me before you leave the office"

“Okay Ma’am” I replied. “Thanks for this” I raised the hamper up. I always prayed to have a good Boss, I know how frustrating some of these people can be. I’m glad I got one.

“Oh” she giggled and gestured her hand saying it’s nothing.

I met Mark in the elevator I entered. I thought about not entering and turning back but it didn’t make much sense. He should be the one running and not me, because I didn’t do anything wrong to him.

I was happy he didn’t say a word to me till he did.

“I miss you"

I tried holding back the rage I was feeling the moment he uttered that word. I was having a good day until now.

“Did you hear me?” he added.

I wanted to just disappear out of the elevator. Why hasn’t it gotten to my floor yet, oh right it has to go up to his floor first. I guess I am stuck with him.

The elevator got to his floor but he didn’t step out and the moment it got to my floor he cancelled it sending us to the last floor.

“What is your problem Mark? Haven’t you tried your best in ruining my life? Can’t you just leave me alone?” I shouted.

“Look, I’m sorry about everything. I know I hurt you and I’m really sorry about that. You were just really perfect and always there that I stopped seeing how lucky I was to have you, now that you’re gone I realize I lost something good and I want that back in my life, I want you and your love and…” his sentence was interrupted and I will be forever grateful to the person that joined us in the lift. She happened to be going to the same floor with me, hearing Mark talk was irritating enough.

As soon as it reached my floor, I stepped out. He was about to follow me, but I shot him a deadly don’t-you-dare glare and this made him stay back.

I couldn’t believe he had the guts to tell me all that. Did he think I was that cheap or that foolish to agree to this again, after the terrible pain he put me through? I tried shaking the thought out of my head and focused on the work I had to submit before closing time. I would be skipping lunch because I didn’t feel hungry and I really wouldn't want to see Mark again—or Will and his girlfriend.

The day went by fast as usual. It was closing hours and I have spent 20 minutes trying to get a ride but there’s nothing. I guess I would be staying here for another minute or hour.

I was surfing the net while waiting to get a ride when I heard my name, I looked to see Davis.

“Why are you still here?” he asked.

“It’s always hard for me to get an uber during closing hours,” I shook my head and sighed.

“I could drop you off, if you don’t mind."

“Uhm, Okay. Thanks” I replied and grabbed my bag and the hamper pack.

“So when do you plan on getting yourself a Car” he said as he opened the door for me to go in.

“I don’t know. When I save up enough to get one” I replied.

“Oh, I know someone who’s a car dealer. You could get the car already and pay in installments"

“Oh, Okay. I will hit you up when I am ready. Thanks” I smiled.

*****

Now that I am alone at home with less work to do I find myself thinking a lot about the Kiss I had with Will. I’ve cautioned myself severally in my head to stop but somehow I find myself thinking about the kiss again. I have tried convincing myself that this has nothing to do with liking him. Maybe I’m just obsessed with the kiss, it’s nothing serious. I would have to avoid him for a while till I know I’m over this thing I’m feeling. There’s no way I would ruin another person’s relationship when I know what it feels like to have the person you love leave you for another.

I let out a sigh after my third serving of jollof pasta and sauced chicken. I’ve been craving it for a while now but I haven’t had time to prepare it till now. Now I was so filled up I could barely sit. I guess this was never a heartbreak symptom but the real me is quite gluttony.

I was doing the dishes when the doorbell rang.

“Coming!” I shouted and reached for the kitchen towel to dry my hands.

I opened the door to see Will. Why did he have to show up when I had just made up my mind to stay away from him. I didn’t ask him to come in and just stayed by the door.

“Well, since you don’t want to invite me in, I guess I have to invite myself in.” He pushed through and walked in, leaving me by the door.

“Will,” I let out a sigh.

“I know you’re Mad at me Irene but I can explain,” he said softly.

“Look, I know she’s your girlfriend and there’s really nothing to talk about” I replied as I closed the door.

“There is and that’s why I am here. But before I do any explaining I would like to ask if you felt anything when we kissed” he asked.

This question was easy but still very hard for me to give an answer to. I wanted to scream ‘Yes’ at the top of my voice but I had a feeling wherever it leads to isn’t going to be good. For a second I stared at him intently and I could feel my heart heat up and my body wanting him even more.

“No. I didn’t” I laughed “Will, come on. That was obviously just a kiss, we were lost in the moment. It’s nothing serious and it doesn’t stop our friendship in any way” I assured him.

He scoffed. “Oh, better. I really don’t want you catching feelings over a mere kiss when I have a fiancé."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest as soon as he uttered those words ‘mere kiss’ and ‘fiancé.’ So they had been dating for so long and yet he was out kissing me. I was angry but I couldn’t ever let him see that I was. So I laughed like it was nothing.

“Come on, I’m not that type of girl and you’re quite terrible at kissing so I’m good,” I replied.

He paused and didn’t say anything and then changed the subject.

“What’s that nice smell? Did you order takeout?” he asked.

“No, it's home-made food. I prepared jollof pasta and sauced chicken. I've been craving it for a while now."

“Oh, great. I guess I didn’t come here in vain after all,” he said.

What could he possibly mean by coming here in vain?

“Wait, what explaining were you going to do?” I asked.

“Oh, uhm.” He brushed his hands through his hair. “That the lady you met today wasn’t just my girlfriend but my fiancé but…never mind. It doesn’t matter at this point,” he replied.

I actually had a lot of questions to ask but I don’t think I am ready to let whatever little feelings I have for him grow. And he had a fiancé? I still can’t let myself take that in. I guess we are better off as friends anyway.

“Okay…so, you’re up for some jollof pasta and sauced chicken?” I asked.

“Of course and some Netflix,” he answered.

We spent the next hours eating and laughing out loud to the comedy movie I selected and it reminded me of how much I appreciated our relationship as friends. I wouldn’t want to lose that for anything in this world.

“Goodnight Will,” I said as he stepped out.

“Goodnight,” he replied and smiled.