Chapter 58 I swear Dancia, I thought it was you
Suddenly, he felt a movement on his face. Something soft, it wasn't the tears constantly washing his face. It was rather wiping his tears. A soft hand was wiping his tears. It can't be Danica so who could it be? He turned swiftly and his gaze met hers. No, she must be dreaming. It's practically impossible.
Danica continued to wipe the tears from his face without uttering a word. She realized that Loney's was looking everywhere without having eye contact with her. She recalled vividly what she saw a few hours ago. It seemed like a nightmare but it was real. Her mind was in a mess. Her emotions in a lake. Yet, her heart ached to see him cry like that.
"I swear Danica, I thought it was you. I texted you about two hours before I set off that I was coming home and when I got to the garage, I texted you again that I had arrived so I thought you were the one in the kitchen." Loney's words were soaked in heavy tears. He had cried so much, his voice sounded husky and breathless. Danica recalled the last message she woke up to. But she didn't recall one he sent on his way. Even though she knew her sister was evil, she had to prove to herself that Loney was innocent.
"You phone," she stretched out her hand and said. Loney stared at her for the first time. He couldn't imagine what she was thinking about. Regardless, he gave her his phone. She went through his messages. There was a message before the last one she saw and there was indeed a response from her phone. A response she didn't send.
Now she was more convinced that Daniella was the brain behind everything. Loney was just a victim. What hurts more was seeing how broken Loney was because of her sister. She feared he might not be able to heal and it ached her heart. After all, she heard a few things while she was sleeping and she had woken up long enough to see him cry all this while. It must hurt him greatly.
"I believe you. It's not your fault." She fought the tears that threatened to fall. She wanted to stay strong for him. She gave the phone back to him but her expression was unreadable. She lifted herself to a sitting position and tapped on the side of the bed next to her but Loney refused to lift himself from the rug. Instead, he moved a bit closer still on his knees and buried his head in her thighs. Danica felt the warm tears wet her clothes and sprang to her thighs. She was so heartbroken, not for what she witnessed but for what he was going through and she didn't know how to help him. How could her sister do this?
"You believe me?" Loney couldn't believe his ears and besides, Danica was calm. Much too calm for his liking, it scared him. He expected her to be angry. To yell but none was forthcoming. She began running her fingers through his hair. Loney stiffened. He wished he could read her mind. This was his first time being in a relationship but he also knew that women nag, yell and curse when they are angry but Danica's ways were too different and terrifying.
Danica saw his confusion and understood what might be going on in his mind. "Yes. I know that you won't hurt me deliberately."
Loney cocked his brow. His eyes were bloody red and swollen from shedding so many tears. "So you forgive me?" he asked her. His voice was almost a whisper. It was too good to be true.
"There's nothing to forgive but yes, if it makes you happy." Danica's response was curt. Loney lifted his head and his eyes met hers. There were so many emotions he couldn't explain. No, something was off and it scared Loney. "Wait, are you planning revenge or something? You don't have to be diplomatic about it. Whatever you want to do, do it now please, don't hold it in."
Danica did not answer his question instantly. Rather, she said, "my Pastor preached a sermon one day. It was an interactive session and somebody popped a question. She asked if anyone could forgive a cheating spouse. Some said yes, others said no. My Pastor realized that those saying yes were people who weren't married or hadn't been in a relationship."
"Then, he asked me. Would I forgive? I said yes without thinking. Then he asked if I have ever been in that position. I said no. And he said, then you are not in the position to contribute to this discussion."
"I was hurt. Every opinion matters but he wanted experienced opinions and now I understand why. When I saw what I saw, my heart shattered to pieces. I felt betrayed by love and I thought I would never love again or be able to forgive. I woke up from a dream. It wasn't really a dream but my subconscious mind replaying that sermon. I realized that it hurt more when I found it hard to forgive."
"I was in pain but I recalled those words. Forgiveness is hard but it heals. I've been awake for a while, merged in my own thoughts, and heard the things you said."
"My eyes have been opened for some time. I saw your eyes closed and the endless tears. So tell me. What happened? I want to confirm everything I heard and did you choke my sister?" Her last words were like fire and Loney didn't know how to answer that but he did.
"I won't lie to you Danica, she would have died in my hand and I won't regret it." Danica realized that there wasn't remorse in his eyes when he said those words. If he hated her sister that much, then he couldn't have done what he did right? Silence descended as Loney yelped. Then he facepalmed. Danica wanted to save him from the confession but just as she was about to speak, he continued, so she didn't stop him.
"I thought you saw the last text message which was why you came to the kitchen to get my food. Besides, she was wearing your clothes and she smelt like you. I know that I don't have the right to defend myself. I have known you for some time and I should have known. I noticed a few signs but thought it was due to the excitement of seeing me that made you behave that way. I'm not asking for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it. I'm just asking you not to leave me." Loney stared at her for the first time but lowered his gaze within seconds.
His action hurt Danica. She could see how difficult it was for him to forgive himself. "But I still forgive you anyway," she muttered. Yet, Loney didn't believe her. Perhaps, she was faking it.
"Wait. You are planning to take revenge on me. You are pranking me."
"Never. You didn't know and I should have been smarter when she asked to wear my dress. I didn't see the message you sent that you had set off. Perhaps she saw it and planned the whole thing. Don't worry. I know what to do," she assured Loney but the latter didn't believe her. He knew how weak she was when it came to her sister.
"When you lied to me about your sister, I didn't even give you a chance to explain. I was mean to you and was ready to let you go because you lied to me. I only decided to listen to your side of the story because of the seed in your womb. I don't forgive so easily. So why would you forgive me just like that?" The truth was too hard for Loney to withstand. It was like torture to his veins. Danica was different.
She lived in her own world with a peculiar understanding of things. She had a soft heart, moulded by the word of God. Deep down, she knew she would have still forgiven Loney even if he was guilty for as long as he confessed his mistakes and asked for forgiveness. She always believed that the quicker she forgave others their sins, the quicker her God will forgive hers as well.
Her lips stretched into a smile. It was genuine. "Because it would hurt me more if I refuse to forgive. I can't live in bitterness and who knows when I will depart from this world? What if I sleep and never wake up? I can't enter heaven with bitterness in my heart so I let it go."
Her ways were too strange for Loney and even though he believed her, he still could not forgive himself. He loved her too much to put her through this. However, even though he knew his next statement would hurt her, it was better said now than never.
"I hope you also understand that she can't live with us anymore. We can't live in fear because of her. She has to go." This time, he wasn't asking her. He was putting a direct message across. Danica could endure her sister torturing her but she couldn't stand it when it came to Loney. Still, her response amazed Loney. "It's fine. You can send her away."
Loney froze. Then he gazed at her. This time, it was longer than before. He understood how much she loved her sister and expected her to argue. Perhaps, try to defend her sister. "Are you sure?"
"I almost lost you Loney and it was because of her. I should have let her go when you proposed it the first time." Loney was speechless. Danica wasn't leaving him but Daniella was. It was such a great relief. He hugged her thighs tightly.
Danica pulled him to sit on the bed. He wanted to hold her but he couldn't. He felt too dirty. Even when Danica tried to pull him closer, he pulled away. "Thank you for forgiving me but I don't deserve you."
Tears welled up in Danica's eyes and it hurt Loney more. "I hold nothing against you and you will hurt me more if you draw back from me." Pregnancy hormones may have made her so emotional. She forgave so she could move on but Loney's guilt only worsened everything.
"You just saw me in a despicable state with your sister and you still want me to touch you? You should feel disgusted." Loney's words were filled with so much remorse.
"But I don't. You are human and it's just human to make mistakes. Only God is perfect."
"But some mistakes are too costly." Loney's words gave her the understanding that he had to punish himself if she refused to punish him. Forgiveness was too good for him and he didn't think that he deserved it.
"Loney, you have to forgive yourself. Let it go. Forgive my sister and let her go. Let the pain go. Let the hurt go." She held his hand and placed it on her stomach. "This life needs you."
Loney pressed himself onto her and buried his head in her neck. He was crying so much, Danica had to forcefully kiss him to prove to him that she forgave him. She placed soft kisses on his face, tasting the salty liquid wetting his face. She pressed her lips on his, he allowed her access as their tongue danced together. He saw the difference. The difference that should have saved him from Daniella.
Danica's kiss wasn't rushed and there was an inkling to it. It felt so pure and so sweet. It wasn't desperate and neither was it lustful. He couldn't loom in it as his sins kept knocking on his door. He pulled away gently but Danica didn't try to force him. They both needed a break. "Let me go and cook."
She was about to get up when Loney grabbed her hand. "No, let Mabel do it." He needed her by his side. He needed her warmth. She was different but that was what made her special. He was so drawn to her that he was ready to give her anything including his life.