Chapter 10
The cool morning air rushing over his face and running through his hair was invigorating;he was a little disappointed that the ride hadn’t taken longer as he looked for a spot to chain his bike.“Or maybe it’s your nerves,Chicken Shit,”he muttered to himself and engaging the lock.
“Are you nervous that you’re talking to yourself or are you nervous that you might answer?”
Nolan let out a startled yip and leapt back from the building.He looked up to the first-story window directly above where he was standing and saw Toni drinking coffee and holding a newspaper.“You scared the shit out of me!”
Toni laughed.“Sorry.I’ve been entertaining myself with your antics for the last few minutes.”
“What antics?”
“Well,you were just weaving your way down the road,looking around with this big goofy smile on your face going,like,twenty miles an hour.You come screeching up to my building,like,whipping your bike chain out as you leapt off.You seriously looked like some action hero or something.”
“I did not,”Nolan said with a pout.
“I was all,‘Jason Bourne,comin’in hot’.”Toni chuckled.Nolan crossed his arms over his chest and screwed up his face in an annoyed scowl.“Sorry,I was just fucking with you.Come on up.I’ll buzz you in.”
Nolan climbed the half flight of stairs up to the front door and was buzzed in as promised.He had met her outside many times but this was the first time he’d ever been in Toni’s apartment.It was small,just one large space and a tiny bedroom and bath off to one side.The walls were covered in pages of watercolor paper,intricately painted and tacked up at seemingly random.“Whoa!Are these yours?I didn’t know you were a painter.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,so I’m not surprised.I’m assuming you have something to talk about?”
Nolan frowned and scanned Toni’s face for a clue as to what she was feeling.Her well-guarded emotions were still locked away tight behind her stony expression.“I don’t want it to be like this,Toni.”
“Well,I do.Coffee?”
Nolan nodded and took an empty seat at her table.The coffee was strong and hot.That coupled with the cool early-morning breeze coming through her open window caused Nolan to close his eyes and sigh deeply.“Ah.This is better.Thanks.”
“No problem.So,how did you and your two new girlfriends get along?”
Nolan shivered.“Not at all.When did you leave?”
“Pretty much the second they grabbed a handful of your junk.I did not need to see that.”
“Who were they anyway?”
“My freshman year,I thought I’d rush a sorority.They were also in the pledge class.”
“I can’t picture you as a sorority girl.”
“Yeah.”Toni sighed.She took a drink of her coffee before opening a pack of cigarettes and offering Nolan one,which he politely declined.After she lit her cigarette,she blew a plume of smoke out the window and continued.“Well,neither could I.There are some pretty awesome organizations out there,but this one was a bad choice.Most of these girls were hard partying and way more into hooking up than I’ll ever be.Just not my scene.”
“Why do they call you Perm?I don’t get it.”
“Toni?Toni Home Perm?”
“I’m not familiar.”
“Well,good.It’s a stupid nickname and I hate it and they know it.So you didn’t hook up with them?”
“Oh,God no.”
“Good.”
“But something worse happened.”
“There’s nothing worse than that.”
“So,Cam’s dad showed up at the party.”
“He did?Was he that super hot DILF with that flirty half smile?”
“DILF?”
“Dad I’d Like to Fuck?”
Nolan laughed.“I’ve never heard that one.Yeah,I’d say that was him.Were there any other dads there?”
“Not that I saw,”Toni said.“I nearly knocked him over on my way out the door.”
“Were you going that fast?”Nolan asked.
“Well,yeah.”Toni blushed.
Nolan studied that uncharacteristic chink in Toni’s armor before going on to tell her the entire messy story of Cam’s accusation and its aftermath.Nolan considered the fact that Toni lit another cigarette immediately after finishing with the first as a sign she was really interested in his tale.
“So,that’sit,”she finally said once he had finished.She got up from the table and returned with her notebook and pen and began writing.“How do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know.Pretty shitty,really.I mean,I’m really pissed at Cam.That was a major dick move on top of all the general dickiness he’s been displaying lately.”
Toni nodded.“Go on.”
“And as far as the whole Rick thing goes,I don’t know.He’s amazing,Toni.He’s everything I think is great about a human being rolled into one person.I’ve only spent a short amount of time with him,but I want to spend as much as I can.Even still.Even after what Cam said.”
Toni,still writing,asked,“Do you think what Cam said was true?”
“That he wants to,you know,eff me?”
Toni laughed loudly and abruptly.An elderly woman passing by on the street below looked up before shaking her head in annoyance and continuing on about her business.“Eff you?”She giggled for another few seconds.
“I’m glad my pain amuses you.”
“It’s not that.It just sounded really funny.Of all times to use,like,church camp words,talking about your best friend’s dad wanting to get all freaky-deaky with your man parts is not the time.”
Nolan blushed and got up to refill his coffee cup.He leaned against the counter and took a sip.“Did he seem gay to you?”
“What?”Toni asked.
“Did Rick seem gay to you?”
“I’m not really sure what seeming gay is,but in the three-point-two seconds I was around him,no.No gayer than anyone else,anyway.Tell me more about this‘seeming gay’business.”
“I don’t know.I just couldn’t tell he was gay.”
“What he wasn’t wearing a pink shirt and talking with a lisp?”
Nolan studied the surface of his coffee.“I guess something like that.”
“Fuck a duck,dude.If that’s what we’re working with here,I don’t know…”
“Look,”Nolan said setting down his cup.“You’re really pissing me off here.I grew up in a small town.If there were gay dudes around,I didn’t know it.I come to school and there’s lots of gay guys,but they’re proud of being gay and aren’t trying to hide it.”
“And you’re assuming Rick is not proud of being gay because he doesn’t act like you think a gay person should act?And is he trying to hide it?”
“Maybe.I just never considered that gay people can be just people too.Like,you and me.”
Toni rolled the tip of her pen across her lips in thought as she watched Nolan fidget nervously.She bent her head forward and began writing once more.
“I don’t think you should be a psychologist,”Nolan said.
“And why’s that?”Toni didn’t look up from her notes.
“You’d make a better interrogator for the Nazis.”
“Well,cupcake,that’s not a very good paying gig these days.Now,how can I get in touch with Cam?”