45

45
I was kinda hoping she’d tighten her grip, you know? That maybe—just maybe—she’d prove me wrong. That instead of letting go of my hand, she’d hold it tighter. Anchor me. Show me that everything she said just moments ago wasn’t just words.

But no.

The moment she heard something that didn’t go her way, her first instinct was to let go.

I felt the emptiness in that instant—the way her fingers uncurled from mine like it didn’t mean anything. Like I didn’t mean anything.

And I thought… I thought she loved me. That’s what she said. Just minutes ago, in the same breath she used to break my heart all over again.

I mean, how can I trust her now? If this is how she handles hard conversations—if the first sign of discomfort sends her pulling away—then what about the next time? What happens when something worse comes along?

She won’t stay.

And that’s what scares me.

I took a deep breath, my voice trembling but steady enough to speak.

“I know you didn’t expect to hear things like that from me. Maybe you still think of me as a kid—someone who’ll crawl back the second you say sorry. But I’m not that girl, Emma.”

Her eyes flickered at that, but she stayed quiet.

“I may be younger, minor or whatever, but I feel things. I have feelings. And I… I love you too. I do.”

My voice cracked on that last part, but I didn’t care. It was the truth.

“If we weren’t in this situation, I’d be jumping with joy right now—because you feel the same way. But instead… I’m here, trying to stop myself from falling apart. Because you lied to me, or at the very least, kept something huge from me. And worse, you left me behind.”

My throat burned as the words tumbled out. But they had to be said.

I paused, gathering myself, trying to piece together the storm of thoughts. I thought of the conversation I had with Kate the other day—how I said I would fight for Emma, no matter what. How determined I sounded when I said it.

But now?

Now, I realize something else.

Even if you love someone deeply, painfully, desperately… sometimes, if they break your heart badly enough, something shifts. Something changes. You start learning how to guard your heart. How to rein it in. You still love them—but it’s different now.

Just like this.

I understood what she explained. I really did. I believe her. But when I think about those forty-eight hours—those two days of silence and heartbreak—it changes things inside me. It changes me.

I became strong.

“Jen.”

“Em.”

We said each other’s names at the same time, and for a second, it almost made me smile.

“You go,” I told her.

She took a deep breath and reached for my hand again. Her touch was gentle, uncertain.

Automatically, I looked at it. At our hands.

It hurt. That simple contact hurt in ways I couldn’t explain. Maybe because I missed it. Maybe because I didn’t trust it anymore.

“I… I don’t know what else to say,” she said quietly. “I don’t know how to make this right. Or if I even can. I just… I’m sorry, Jen. And I hope—please—I hope you don’t shut me out. I made a mistake. I know that. But if you give me another chance… I swear, I won’t make the same mistake again.”

I looked into her eyes—hazel, glassy, desperate. Never in a million years did I imagine I’d see Emma asking me for another chance. I always thought it would be the other way around.

And for a moment, I almost said yes. But then… a part of me hesitated. A small, scared part.

“I want to, Em… I really do. But—”

“No. No but,” she cut in quickly, eyes wide. “God, I hate buts.”

I let out a small laugh. Not because it was funny, but because somehow she still managed to sound like herself. That familiar, stubborn, wild Emma.

“I’m just saying… maybe not today, okay?” I said softly. “You’ve got a lot going on. It’s pretty clear you still haven’t figured out what you’re doing about your engagement. And I don’t want to be dragged into something messy. If you’d told me from the start, I would’ve stayed. I’d have fought with you.”

I paused again, voice breaking.

“But you didn’t. You left me to drown in my own pain. And I’m still hurting, Em. So I think… what I need—what we need—is a break. A break from us.”

She looked stunned, like the words physically hit her. But this time, she didn’t let go of my hand. She just sat there, looking at me with those aching eyes.

I wanted to reach out and wipe the tears I saw forming. I wanted to tell her I’d wait for her. That she was worth waiting for.

But I didn’t.

And I was proud of that, in a strange, aching way. Because this was Emma. My girl neighbor. The one I was head over heels for.

Still, I held back.

I had grown.

“Are you… are you sure?” she asked, voice cracking.

“Em…” I placed my other hand over hers, holding her gently. “Just until you figure things out. When you’re ready, I’m just a doorstep away.”

She sniffled, bowing her head. And instinctively, I slid closer and wrapped my arms around her.

As soon as I did, my eyes shut tight and I breathed her in.

God, I missed her.

She melted into the hug, pressing herself tightly against me. I felt her body—warm, trembling, alive.

And then—soft lips brushed against my shoulder.

Small kisses. Featherlight.

Then more—hotter. Lingering. Her mouth on my neck, her breath making my skin rise.

Kisses turned to teasing little bites.

My eyes squeezed shut as a wave of heat swept through me.

Her lips traced my jawline—my sweet spot—and she knew it. Her tongue danced there, slow and deliberate, and I couldn’t stop the sound that escaped me.

I moaned her name, and I knew she felt it, because I felt her lips curl into a smile.

“Oh god, Emma…”

And then she kissed me. Hard. Deep.

Her lips devoured mine like she was starving. Her hands roamed my sides, slipping beneath my dress. Her fingers grazed bare skin, sending sparks up my spine.

I knew it was too late to stop.

And I didn’t want to.

She pulled back just long enough to lift my dress over my head. I looked at her, breathless. The hunger in her eyes—the way she stared at my body—it made me burn.

Before she could kiss me again, I cupped her face, staring into her eyes.

“Jen, please don’t say anything,” she whispered. “Let me love you tonight… please.”

I didn’t say a word. Just nodded.

Her hands covered mine, and she kissed me again. This time slower, deeper. Every movement was deliberate. Intimate. Worshipful.

I let go.

Let my hands explore her body, her curves. Even with her shirt on, I cupped one of her breasts, my other hand tangled in her hair.

She gasped into my mouth.

And then she pushed me gently back onto the couch. Her body moved between mine as she straddled me. My hands slipped to her hips, then lower, to the smooth skin of her thighs.

She moaned.

I peeled her shirt off, slowly, wanting to savor this. Our lips met again—briefly—before I kissed down her neck to her bare shoulder.

My hands unclasped her bra while she worked on mine. And when our bare skin touched—when her breasts pressed against mine—it was electric.

I gasped.

I was already wet.

My hands roamed her chest, massaging, teasing. Then my mouth found her nipple, and I sucked gently, then harder—just the way I knew she liked.

She moaned louder.

She stood just long enough to remove her jeans, leaving her panties on.

Then she straddled me again.

Her hands braced against the couch, and I took her in—my lips returning to her chest while my fingers slipped beneath the fabric of her panties.

She was soaked.

I circled her clit, slowly, watching her reactions. The way she arched. The way she whimpered.

She grabbed my wrist, guiding my hand deeper.

She wanted me inside her.

I slid one finger in, feeling her tighten around me, then pulled out and pushed in again. Her hips moved with mine in perfect rhythm. Her moans grew louder.

I added another finger.

She was so close. Her entire body trembled. Her breaths came in gasps. And then, with one final cry of my name, she collapsed against me.

Her body was warm and slick, her heartbeat erratic.

My fingers stayed inside her, just to feel her one second longer—but Emma pulled away gently.

She looked down at me, eyes dark with lust, lips swollen, cheeks flushed.

And then she said it:

“It’s your turn, babe. Lie back.”
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