Chapter 22 Chapter 22: Just an Old Mug
Catherine’s P.O.V
That night, I quietly made my way to the second guest room, thinking it would be better to just sleep alone. My mind was still spinning from everything that had happened, from the tension with Lydia to the impossible mess of emotions I felt about Xavier. I barely got the door open when I heard his voice behind me.
“Cathy, wait.”
I froze and turned around. Xavier was leaning against the doorway, looking unusually serious.
“I… I don’t think you should sleep there,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”
“Because… It's going to be incredibly awkward if Caroline sees us sleeping in different rooms. She’ll tell my mom, and… it’ll just create misunderstandings.” His voice was low, almost pleading, but there was a strange firmness underneath it.
I shook my head, trying to keep my voice steady. “Xavier… my mind is a mess. I just can’t… I can’t bring myself to share your bed right now.”
He took a step closer, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Cathy… you’re overthinking this. You’re stretching this beyond what it needs to be. It’s just one incident.”
I felt heat rush to my face, and my chest tightened. “One incident? You think it’s just one incident? You don’t get it! I…”
“I do get it!” he snapped, cutting me off. “I just think you’re making it harder than it has to be!”
That was it. Something in me broke, the frustration, the helplessness, the anger I had been holding back. I stormed toward the door.
“You don’t get anything, Xavier!” I yelled, my voice shaking. “Just… just leave me alone!”
I slammed the door in his face, the echo of it bouncing off the walls. I leaned against it for a long moment, trying to steady my breathing, trying not to cry. But in the end, I couldn’t take it anymore.
And that’s how, I once again found myself curled up in the guest bed, spending the night questioning how my life had suddenly turned upside down in a matter of moments.
The next morning, I was dragging myself through the motions of getting ready. I had decided to go to the supermarket, thinking the errands would give me some distraction, some semblance of normalcy.
I had made a list earlier this week, to hand over to the servants to get, but now, I thought it would be better if I was the one who went out. It would be nice to get some fresh air, clear my head while I strolled through the aisles.
I walked into the kitchen, ready to grab a coffee before I left. And then I froze.
Xavier was standing there, pouring coffee for Caroline, leaning just a little too close to her, smiling at her in that way that made my stomach twist. He laughed at something she said, brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, and the sweetness in his tone made my chest ache.
“Here you go, Caroline,” he said, handing her the mug. “I remembered how you liked it. Cream, no sugar.”
She giggled. “You always do remember, don’t you?”
I could feel my jaw tighten as I stood frozen, staring at them. My heart wanted to scream, my mind wanted to rationalize, but the hurt was immediate and raw.
I just stood there watching them, the way he glanced at Caroline, smiling that way…it felt like a punch straight to my gut. I wanted to run, to leave, to escape the room, the house, everything. But I couldn’t. I had to stand there, silently watching him play the part I couldn’t reconcile with the Xavier I thought I knew.
Caroline moved her hand, resting gently on her stomach while Xavier hovered close, his eyes following the movement.
I frowned, stepping a little closer, feeling a knot of unease form in my stomach. “Is… caffeine okay for a pregnant woman?” I asked, my voice carrying more sharpness than I intended, but I couldn’t help myself. My eyes darted between them, and I realized they both almost jumped apart at the same time, caught off guard.
Then something clicked. Caroline was holding it…my favorite coffee mug. My heart sank a little. I took a slow step forward.
“Where did you get that mug?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, though there was an unmistakable edge of hurt in it.
Xavier shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Caroline before answering. “I… I gave it to her,” he said finally, running a hand through his hair. “She said she loved the floral design. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
Caroline looked at me, her expression earnest, almost apologetic. “Cathy, really, thank you for your concern. I only drink one cup of coffee a day, and it’s fine. I… I didn’t know the mug mattered so much to you. I just liked the design,” she said softly, her words gentle but steady, as if she wanted me to understand she didn’t mean to upset me.
I stared at the two of them, my chest tightening with a mix of emotions…surprise, confusion, and a twinge of something I didn’t want to admit. “I… I just… that mug…” I trailed off, unsure how to put it into words. My voice caught, betraying a vulnerability I wasn’t proud of.
Caroline reached out, almost instinctively, though she didn’t take another step closer. “Cathy, I didn’t mean to overstep. I just… liked it, and I didn’t know it belonged to you.” Her eyes searched mine, sincere, and for a moment, I stood like a statue, not knowing what to do.
Xavier exhaled, running a hand over his face. “Cathy… she’s not trying to replace anything. She didn’t know. Please, don’t be upset with her over something so small.” His voice was quiet, almost pleading, but there was a tension there I couldn’t ignore…like he was holding back more than just irritation.
I let out a shaky laugh, trying to break the tension, but it sounded hollow even to me. “It’s fine,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… just an old mug.”
I sighed and shook my head, trying to muster a calm I didn’t feel. “I’ll just get coffee later,” I told them, forcing a smile that probably didn’t reach my eyes.
“I actually need to head out for a bit anyway.” My voice sounded steadier than I felt, and I kept my hands busy adjusting the strap of my bag as I spoke, turning and heading towards the door. “So I’ll grab coffee on the way.”
That’s when Xavier’s voice pulled me back. “Cathy?” he called from across the room, and I turned to see him holding a folded piece of paper, his expression a mixture of urgency and…something else I couldn’t quite place.
“Since you’re heading out, you can, uh…you can grab a few things for Caroline.”
I raised an eyebrow, a little surprised. “Things for Caroline?” I echoed, tilting my head as I stepped closer. “Like…what kind of things?”
He handed me the list, and I took it, feeling the paper tremble slightly in my hands. “Just…stuff to make her feel more comfortable,” he said quietly, avoiding my eyes. “You know, small things. Favorite snacks, maybe a blanket or something soft. She’s…she’s adjusting to a new environment, and I think it would help.”
I glanced at the list, reading the scrawled items, and then looked back at him. “Xavier…I…” I started, but he cut me off with a shake of his head.
“I know it’s sudden,” he said quickly, almost defensively. “But, I mean…she’s our surrogate, and I…look, I just want to do this right. You’re going out anyway, so…could you? Please?” His voice wavered slightly, and I realized he was feeling embarrassed. There was guilt there, too, I could feel it radiating off him, like he blamed himself for not being able to make things easier.
But I couldn’t even describe how my stomach tightened in knots at just the thought of how he had been with Caroline just moments ago. Something about this didn't feel right, and the feeling kept intensifying each day.
He stared at me, swallowing hard, and for a moment, neither of us said anything.
“Okay,” I finally said, giving him a small, reassuring smile even though it felt hollow. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Oh, that’s great,” he muttered, letting out a shaky laugh. “Thanks, Cathy. Really. It…means a lot. To Caroline, I mean.”
I nodded and turned toward the door, list in hand, feeling like I was sinking deeper and deeper into this sinkhole without knowing what exactly was happening.