Chapter 158 Waiting room
Sage's POV
I refused to let go of Jaxon's hand as they wheeled him through the emergency room doors. The paramedics had stopped trying to make me release him somewhere around the second corner.
"We need to get him into surgery now!" one of the doctors shouted as we burst through the double doors.
The emergency room was chaotic. Doctors and nurses were running in every direction, voices overlapping as they shouted orders and vital signs. Somewhere behind us, I could hear another gurney being rushed through the doors.
"Female, twenty-three, blunt force trauma—"
"Male, forties, multiple GSWs—"
"Get me a chest tube kit, now!"
I focused on Jaxon's face, trying to block out everything else. His eyes were closed and his skin was the color of old paper. Blood soaked through the bandages wrapped around his stomach, spreading dark and wet across the white sheets.
"Systolic pressure dropping," one of the paramedics called out. "Eighty over forty and falling."
"OR three is prepped and waiting," a nurse said, appearing beside the gurney. "Trauma surgeon is scrubbing in."
They wheeled Jaxon down a long corridor lined with fluorescent lights that made everything look harsh and too bright. Doctors surrounded the gurney, their hands moving quickly, checking monitors and adjusting IV lines. They threw around medical terms I did not understand but the urgency in their voices told me everything I needed to know.
My brother was dying.
"BP dropping, seventy over thirty!"
"Push another unit of O-neg!"
"We're losing him, we need to move faster!"
We reached a set of doors marked "Surgical Suite - Authorized Personnel Only" and a nurse finally stepped in front of me, her hand gentle but firm on my arm.
"I'm sorry, but you can't go any further," she said. "The surgical team needs room to work."
"No, I need to stay with him—" I tried to push past her but another nurse joined the first, creating a barrier I could not cross.
"We'll take good care of him," the second nurse promised. "But you need to wait out here."
They wheeled Jaxon through the doors and I watched them disappear, still trying to pull free even though I knew it was useless. The doors swung shut with a soft click that sounded too final.
I stood there staring at those closed doors, my hand still outstretched toward where Jaxon had been. Blood covered my palms, my arms and the front of my ruined wedding dress.
"Sage."
Diego's voice came from behind me. I had forgotten he was also there.
I turned and saw him standing a few feet away, his clothes splattered with blood and dirt. His face was calm but his eyes were worried as he watched me.
"Come on," he said gently. "Let's get you somewhere you can sit down."
He guided me to a waiting room that was less chaotic than the emergency room we just came from. The room was calm but I could feel the tension radiating from the people seated there.
Diego helped me into one of the chairs and then disappeared. I sat there with my hands in my lap, staring at the blood under my fingernails and knees.
Diego came back a few minutes later with two paper cups of coffee. He pressed one into my hands and I wrapped my fingers around it, grateful for the warmth even though I had no intention of drinking it.
"Thank you," I managed to say.
He sat down beside me and we waited in silence.
Elena arrived maybe an hour later, still in her tactical gear but without any guns. She spoke briefly with Diego in Spanish before turning to me.
"The police want statements," she said. "And there are federal agents outside asking questions about what happened tonight."
"I can handle them," Diego told her. "Keep them away from Sage until we know about Jaxon."
Elena nodded and left, her phone already pressed to her ear.
Time passed in a strange blur as minutes felt like hours. I drank the coffee at some point without really tasting it. Diego brought me another cup and I held that one too, watching it go cold in my hands.
I kept looking around the room wondering if I would see Ryder. Tommy must also be in surgery too. I waited for him to appear, to come find me, to check if Jaxon was okay.
But he never came.
I told myself he had his own crisis to deal with. Tommy had been shot too. Ryder had every right to be focused on his own brother. I understood that.
But the silence from him still felt like abandonment. Like I was dealing with this alone even though we were in the same building, maybe just a few hallways apart.
Diego stayed beside me the entire time. He did not try to make conversation or tell me everything would be okay. He just sat there, steady and present, and somehow that was exactly what I needed.
Other people came and went. Elena checked in periodically with updates about the police and the feds. Some of Diego's men stood guard outside the waiting room even though guns were not allowed in the hospital. A few Steel Wolves brothers showed up, asking about Jaxon, offering to stay.
But Ryder did not come. And he did not call.
The clock on the wall said it had been four hours since they took Jaxon into surgery. Four hours of staring at those closed doors and waiting for news.
I thought about whether Ryder was in that other waiting room. I wondered if he was thinking about me. I wondered if he was worried about Jaxon and if it had even crossed his mind to check on us.
The silence hurt more than I wanted to admit.
Diego shifted in his chair beside me, adjusting his position so he could see down the hallway. "Do you want me to find Ryder? Let him know what's happening?"
I shook my head. "If he wanted to be here, he would be."
Diego did not argue with that.
More time passed. Five hours. Six. The coffee cups piled up on the small table beside me, all of them cold and untouched except for the first one.
I watched nurses walk past in their scrubs. Doctors moved between rooms, checking charts and talking in low voices. Some even came to talk to people in the waiting room, giving them updates on their loved ones surgery.
Every time the surgical suite doors opened, my heart jumped. But it was always someone else, heading in or out for some other patient.
Not Jaxon. Never Jaxon.
I started making deals with God or the universe or whoever might be listening. If Jaxon lives, I will do anything. I will marry Diego. I will leave Millbrook. I will give up everything, just please let my brother live.
Diego's phone rang and he stepped away to answer it, speaking in rapid Spanish I was too tired to try to translate.
I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. The fluorescent lights were too bright even through my eyelids.
Footsteps approached and I opened my eyes, hoping for Ryder.
But it was a doctor in surgical attire, walking toward me with an expression I could not read.