Chapter 31 : Feel And Learn...

Part 4

***Adrian...***

Swirling the dark liquor, I bring the bottle to my lips and tip it back. The bourbon burns down my throat, causing my eyes to flare with moisture.

*Fuck*. A smile pulls on my lips as I recall the last time I'd had a good drink. *Of course, I drank because of her only. No surprise I remember that.*

I raise my head and check the clock hanging over the stage, circumferenced with red and purple lights that swirl around, mixing, scattering, creating a halo around the raised platform. Reading the hands, I come to the conclusion that she's made her decision. She's not here yet, but the time I gave her is almost over. Only a few minutes before the midnight strikes and the hands chime to notify.

I replace the bottle with my phone as I get up from the chair that I had dragged to the corner and sat down. Opening my contacts, I pull up Geroge's phone number to call him and tell him to prep the plane for a long journey. If I'm going to drop her then I may as well pick up Bert on my way back. He won't have to wait till next week. I've already made up my mind that I won't host the gathering. Not this year, not ever.

As I walk to the edge of the stage without stumbling once, a displeased frown pulls down my brows. *I need more liquor in my system.* I can't remain sober with her in the same house when there's no one to stop me from doing what I want.

Running my free hand through my damp hair, I stare at the ticking hands of the clock as I wait for my pilot to pick up the call. Just as the clock chimes midnight, two things happen simultaneously. One, George picks up the call and greets me in his English accent. Two, a knock sounds at the double doors standing wide open.

I freeze on the spot, wondering if I had imagined the sound in my desperation. But I'm forced to turn to the side when the knock sounds again, followed by a strong feminine voice.

“I'm not late, am I?”

I end the call and switch off my phone. Toss it aside. My other hand drops from my hair to grab the back of the chair near the front table. With effort I keep myself upright and stare in astonishment and utter relief, unlike anything I've ever experienced before.

Pearl stands inside the threshold, hands behind her back, shifting on her feet ever so slightly as she tries to maintain eye contact from underneath her long lashes. My gaze drops to her fragile, yet flawless body, swimming in my oversized satin shirt. I wonder if she has followed all the instructions and worn the underwear I'd asked her to...

Fighting for my voice through the waves of relief coursing over me, I clear my throat and do my best to smooth out the huskiness to reassure her. “No. You're not late. In fact, You're right on the dot. I'm impressed.” I force myself to shut up before I can babble out something even more stupid.

Hearing the unexpectedly light comment, her tense expressions soften into a tentative smile, the sight of which makes my heart flip inside my chest and do some more strange things, amping up my blood.

Removing my hand from the chair, I straighten up and catch her brows knitting together as she takes a step forward then hesitates. *What now?* I stiffen in alarm. Take a few more steps inside before you stop. I urge her silently while fighting off my instincts to grab her before she changes her mind.

Who knows what compelled her to come down here. And who cares. At least, she's here. She must have wanted to be here just as much as I want her to be here.

I won't allow her to change her mind now.

“What's the matter?” I ask, feigning indifference as I inhale deeply to calm down my pounding heart.

I think I am ready to admit that I'm afraid. *Terrified*, actually. I don't think I'll handle her departure from my life again. *Haven't I risked it enough times already?* I don't think I'll be able to bear it this time.

I wait for her to respond with held breath. Damn, she really knows how to create suspense. I should ask her to teach me that if she still wants to leave. It'll give her a reason to stay. *You're one utterly pathetic bastard, Black.* I want to laugh at myself.

She breaks the tension at last. “You're wearing black again.” Following her eyes, I glance down at my clothes.

“That's it?” I insinuate, dumbfounded. *This is why she took such a long pause.* “Are you fucking with me?”

She appears surprised by my sudden outburst. “I was just observing.”

My hands ball into fists as I grapple for some control to keep from losing it over her again. Propping up my fists on my hips, I shake my hand, laughing with no humour as I try not to glare and send her scrambling before I can secure the doors.

To lighten the mood and ease the tension, I admit, “You never cease to surprise me with your unpredictability, Pearl. There's not been a single time when I could have judged your thoughts appropriately. Anyhow, I'm glad you're paying attention.”

Her hands drop. Her spine straightens. And I see the realisation in her dark eyes that she's not getting under my skin anytime soon.

“Why am I here?” She asks, her voice thick with uncertainty, eyes darting between my face and the stage. “What is this place?”

“You're here…” I amble up to her and skirt around her enticing body, smiling slightly as I hear her inhale quickly. I finish my sentence as I shut the double doors, “...because I want you here. Got it?”

She nods, rather shakily. I let it pass, pacifying myself with the fact that she didn't bolt when I approached her and got so dangerously close. *She wants to be here. She wants what I want.* My temper cools with the realisation and my heartbeat slows.

She lets out a surprised shriek when I move closer and snake my arms around her waist, relishing in the silkiness of hair as I nuzzle into her neck. Her breathing shallows, body shivers when my left hand wanders up her body to fondle her breast through the shirt. Her intoxicating scent penetrates my senses as my right hand roams down to feel her between her thighs.

With satisfaction at the feel of the thin material, I cup her through her frail panty, smirking as I listen to her gasping for air, spine arching against my chest.

In a bold move, she reaches over her head and hooks her hands behind my neck. Arching further so that her ass can rub against my cock. I hiss through my teeth at her fervent pace. Sense her urgency to get this over with as she goes out of my control within my arms, her body growing restless with every second.

“Shit!” I chuckle, struggling to keep my head straight as I tear away from her. Her arms drop away from my neck as I grab her waist and twist her back to face me.

Lifting her up, I walk to the stage and set her on the edge. Her thighs fall away without commanding and I squeeze myself between her legs, weaving my fingers through her hair to keep her head in place.

Bringing my lips inches away from hers, I plant a few petal soft kisses around her mouth, relishing in her moans of desire and something dark. Something unsettling that makes me go crazy with lust. The pain she causes me by her nails, digging into the flesh of my torso, desperately trying to pull me in closer, only fuels my need to hear her scream for me and only for me.

“What's on your mind, Pearl?” I breathe harshly against her lips.

Her dark eyes connect and lock with mine. I see the ongoing conflict in her eyes, but for some reason she chooses to relax, as a sly, almost lazy smile stretches her lips wide. Seeking hands run up my back. Sharp nails rake down my back, making me shudder. *Fuck! What is she doing?*

Biting her plump lips, she widens her doe eyes, trying to play coy. “You, Master. You're on my mind. Now, I want you inside me. Please…” She draws out her request, her eyes darkening further as her breathing escalates, not only from want and desire, but something far more darkly interesting and hypnotising. “I know you want to be inside me too.”

“You know nothing about what I want, Esclave. Stop pretending.” I grit out, my voice trembling from restraints as my gaze hardens.

Her smile falters, giving away her true emotions. But she recovers quickly, broadening her smile as she pushes.

“Is that so?” That fucking coy look again. “Then show me what you want.”

I glare directly into her eyes, and she meets my eyes head on, thinking that I won't be able to see her. She's strangely unaware of the fact that I can see right through her. She's paper thin for me right now, an occurrence that has both stunned and excited me.

But I don't want to play any games tonight, pretend to be someone that I'm not.

And I can't allow her to hide from me anymore.

“Unbutton my shirt.” I command her, testing her limits.

Her fingers get to work without a moment's hesitation. I shut my eyes. *No, no, no. Why is she being so compliant!?*

I utter the next command in a low, deep voice. “Take it off now.”

Again, she does as she's told, showing neither any weakness, nor any fight.

As soon as my wet shirt hits the floor, I back away from her, unable to tolerate her excited smile that can't be any more fake than what it is right now.

“What's on your mind, Esclave? What are you trying to prove here?” I ask in a calm, steady voice, reigning in my desire for her to deal with this brand new problem.

“What do you mean?” She laughs nervously, refusing to drop the fake smile, and her troubled eyes fail to maintain eye contact as she talks. “I told you what I want. Make me feel, show me what you want and like. I'm not trying to prove anything here.”

“But I think you are. We both know you're here for a reason. Although I'm finding it hard to believe that you're here because you want to. It's like you've come here to prove something. To yourself or me? I don't know.” I watch her expression closely as I vocalise my thoughts. “Or are you trying to reassure yourself by trying to take control of the situation? Are you feeling unsafe? Scared about what I might do to you?”

She frowns in response, smoothly covering up her shock at the accuracy of my statement and suggestions. When she refuses to affirm or even to look at me, I sigh and close the distance between us.

Tipping her chin up with my index finger, I force her to meet my gaze, as I try to keep my voice as soft and controlled as I can. “If fear is driving you to act like this, I understand. You don't know what to expect. But if you really want to make this work, if you really want to stay with me, then you have to risk putting your trust in me. There's no way around it, Pearl.”

She continues to look at me, earnest eyes glistening with tears that she refuses to shed. Turning her face away from me, she whispers, “I'm so sorry, Adrian. I can't do this. I'm not what you think I am. I'm broken. I've been broken for a long time. And even if we try this, I'm bound to mess it up and push you away. That's what I do and what I'm good at.”

Her words hurt. *Shit*, they hurt like a son of a bitch. But I don't take my eyes off of her. I just… I can't. I'm not ready to give up without trying. I don't know what it is, why I need her in my life, all for myself, *so bad.* But I do want her. *I fucking crave her.*

“So you can't try willingly?” I ask her in a cool, flat tone, fed up of smooth talking and trying to consider her emotions.

“I told you I can't.” She sobs softly, wiping her nose with the long sleeve of my shirt.

“That's alright,” I amend calmly then back away, eyeing the lit stage and background as my mind starts plotting and piecing together old scenarios that used to impress the women that visited my club for every session. “I have another approach.”

She lifts her head to look at me, confusion written across her flushed face. I try not to let her vulnerability get to me, but it almost messes up my restraints when she asks me in her small and lost voice, “Another approach? What's that?”

“Another approach to help you make up your mind.” I nod my head towards the set up on top of the stage. “I want you to get up and stand with your hands on your side in the centre of the stage.”

“But I just told you that I—”

I cut her off. “I want you to do it now. I'll join you in a minute.”

I don't wait for her to comply and turn my back to her. Making my way to the door, I cut to the right and reach the digital panel jutting out from the wall in the darkest corner of the room.

I punch in the code and select the theme option as soon as the home screen appears. Scrolling down to the end of the list, I choose my favourite one. Relocking the panel screen, I watch it as it retreats inside the wall and wait for the satisfying sound of the click, that signifies the input and accumulation of given needs and instructions.

I can't wait to see how she will react to the wonder of technology she's about to witness. It's been way too long since I last used one of these features for any sessions. Hopefully, when I'll turn around, Pearl will be ready and waiting for me as I told her. Because if she is not where I want her, there's going to be trouble. Not for me though.

I'm done trying to ease her into everything.

*It's time for her to feel and learn.*