Chapter Thirteen

Adler POV:

Ledela knocked on the chemistry lab’s door before sneaking inside where I hid. The lights were out, only beakers and empty lab seats surrounded me.

I’d never been more embarrassed in my life. Huxley tossed me underneath the bus in front of the entire lunch A and they hadn’t even caught onto us yet.

Sighing, I hid my head into my knees and began to cry.

Ledela hurried toward me with a Sprite and crackers that she hid in her locker. We both skipped gym, add it to my other sins for the day, because I couldn’t be bothered with it.

Our lab rooms were rarely used, but the doors were normally unlocked, so the janitor didn’t have to open them both.

“Thank you,” I whispered, wiping my face. “I checked my Facebook, it’s a mad house.”

Ledela opened her Facebook and began to scroll. So many guys had written on my wall and called me every ugly name they could conjure up from Hell.

“Oh, no he didn’t,” she hissed, starting to type out a response.

I pushed her hand down. “Don’t even attempt it, Ledela. There is no way you can write them all back. I’ll flag it. Maybe they’ll have pity on me and take them down.”

“Ah, Baby Girl,” she said sliding beside me, and encouraging my head to her shoulder.

“I don’t know why I did that at lunch today. Huxley just blurted it out as if it wasn’t going to ruin my reputation, and half of the school would hate me for it. Especially Liam. He’s gonna know I only texted him because of that stupid website. He’ll never forgive me, and I’m never going to forgive Huxley. I can’t believe he did this.”

Ledela patted my head. Our roles reversed for once.

“Have you tried to text Liam?” she asked.

“No, I’m too scared.”

“What about Huxley?”

I held my knees closer to me. “I don’t know what to say to him, Led. He kissed my brains out—I mean, I’ve only ever kissed Liam and him, but—”

Ledela searched my reaction. “You liked Huxley’s better?”

My sigh came out with a hiccup. “Yeah, I mean, I felt like flying afterward. The way he held me, touched me, even the way he tasted felt like sin wrapped in a big present on Christmas morning. I briefly thought he might like me when all this stuff started but then I thought, who the hell would like me?”

Ledela shoved my shoulder. “Adler Poops Ray—” I shoved her, and she laughed—“dammit you’re a catch.”

“I’m shy. Huxley said it today in front of everyone. I never go after what I want because I’m afraid. I wish I had your spirit.”

“Adler, do you know how many times you’ve talked me out of doing something stupid? It’s one thing to be brave, but sometimes it’s good to think about your actions. You’re beautiful and kind. Huxley sees that.”

I wiped beneath my eye. “You don’t know that.”

“Actually,” she said. “I do.”

She held up a finger while digging through her overly stuffed backpack for something. She pulled out a few sheets of wrinkled paper and handed them to me. “I went back inside and grabbed them. This is what Jacee and Señor Seth delivered to Huxley today. They weren’t trying to figure out who did the website together. Savanah told me—”

“Of course she did,” I laughed.

“—that Heather noticed Huxley writing about a girl during English class. She couldn’t figure out who it was, so she had Jacee do some digging on her end since she is Mrs. Rita’s assistant seventh period. She had Señor Seth help her find the contest Mrs. Rita sent the paper into and hacked the website. Apparently, Huxley’s firewall was one hell of a wall, because Seth couldn’t get through it to trace y’all. Hence, his meltdown.”

The paper in my hand felt foreign and gave me goose bumps. To see how Huxley saw me would feel weird. I tucked it into my back pocket. “I’ll look at it when I get home.”

With the wall as my support, I stood up, and straightened my ponytail. “I texted Dad, he called the office, and said I could go home. I need to be alone for a little while.”

Ledela stood up with me and gave me a hug. “I love you, Adler. Call me if you need anything. No more website on my blog either. I’m sorry I pressured you into it.”

“No,” I said. “It’s my fault for taking Huxley’s dare.”

“What are you going to do now?” she asked.

“I don’t know.”

When I left the school parking lot, I noticed Huxley’s truck wasn’t in its usual spot. Most likely, Principal Burkhart suspended him for getting into another fight. I heard it wasn’t pretty.

Instead of going home with Mrs. Shana and Huxley, I drove around Dallas for a while, wasting gas and grabbing an ice cream to lift my spirit, which didn’t help.

By the time five o clock hit, I pulled into the driveway where Dad sat on the front porch step waiting on me.

He stood up as I walked toward him. “Come on, Adler. Let’s go get some mozzarella sticks and chili dogs.”

Dad drove us to our favorite restaurant downtown and we sat at a window booth.

He ordered without asking me, keeping his eyes on his interlaced fingers for a while. I felt my nerves eating me alive on the inside. Dad never got mad—not really—besides at Huxley and Liam fighting in the yard.

He looked concerned today.

“Huxley told me the entire story about today at school.”

Heat bloomed underneath my cheeks.

Dad searched my eyes with his darks ones. “Adler, you’ve always been such a good girl. After your momma left, I didn’t know what I was doing. I prayed every night that you would turn out good, and not like her. You did,” he said. “So, to have made it seventeen-years without a major dramafest has been a blessing. I know about the website, and Liam. I’m sorry if the kids are going to be mean but you’re strong.”

Huxley didn’t tell him about the kiss. I felt relieved. For Mrs. Shana and Dad to trust me, always made me feel safe and good. I didn’t want them afraid to leave us alone together, even if I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss.

Why did it have to feel so good? Couldn’t we go back to just being brother and sister? As badly as I wanted it, I knew it couldn’t, because Huxley’s kiss made me feel alive.

I pushed my straw further into my strawberry milkshake and took it out to lick the side like a kid.

“I know,” I said with a whisper.

“Do you?” he asked, tipping my chin up with his fingers. “You are kind, Baby Girl. You don’t have to be mean back to them. Ignore them. This will pass. As soon as Ledela starts another dance battle during lunch.”

I burst out laughing. “How did you know about that?”

“Taj saw it on her video blog and sent it over. She laughed for thirty minutes straight about it with Shana on the phone the other night.”

“She’s crazy,” I said. “But that’s why I love her.”

Dad nodded. “Yeah, and you’re kind and thoughtful, that’s why we all love you. Huxley is suspended for a few days, and Shana suggested he stay home from the game on Friday as well. His Coach fought for him, but Shana said no. He needs to learn that fighting isn’t the answer. Just because you can beat someone up, doesn’t mean you need to do it.” Dad flexed his muscles. “Example number uno.”

I laughed. “Right, because people try to fight you all the time. That sucks for Huxley. Do you care if I still go to the game?”

He eyed me. “For Liam?”

“I don’t know if that is going to work out after today.”

“Maybe you should stay home too, for your brother’s sake.”

I really didn’t mind. Liam would probably ignore me anyway and it would only hurt me deeper. “Okay, Dad.”

Our server brought over our food, and I let my emotions eat my entire meal. When we got back home, Liam’s pickup sat in the driveway. His big body looked defeated, and I hoped he wasn’t there for a fight, because I felt exhausted.

Dad kissed my cheek, got out, and waved toward Liam. I watched him disappear inside the front door, while I stood by Dad’s Silverado with my hands behind my back.

Liam gestured for me to come over to his truck, opened the passenger side door, and walked around.

The leather of his truck smelled new even though I knew it wasn’t. My hands began to tremble, so I shoved them in-between my knees.

Liam opened his door, and crawled inside, turning the air down before facing me. His handsome face looked confused, which I was sure mirrored my own.

“Adler, listen, I don’t want to believe that you only dated me because of this website, but things aren’t looking in your favor. That was so messed up and humiliating for me. The entire school thinks Jacee put you up to this. Tell me that isn’t true.”

I took a deep breath. “I liked you before this happened. It was a secret between Ledela and me. When Jacee asked me to play you, I thought it was my way inside. I wasn’t brave enough to face you.”

Liam pressed his finger to his forehead and sighed. “I believe you to be honest. Maybe that makes me gullible, but I do. Though that’s not our only problem, is it?”

“Huxley?”

“Yeah, he kissed you, Ad? Were you going to say anything to me about it? I mean—shit. Y’all live together, how can I compete with someone that sees you all the time?”

“Honestly, I wasn’t going to tell you. It just happened, I felt confused, and it was so sudden. I didn’t know how to tell anyone but Led. She never judges me.”

The corner of Liam’s lip pulled up. “Yeah, because she has dance offs with her frenemies during lunch. What’s worse than that?”

“True,” I said with a smile. “So, you want to end this, right? I wouldn’t blame you for it.”

“What makes you think that?” he asked.

“After today I’m going to be the talk of the school and not in a good way. I’ll no longer be Adler Ray, but Miss. Play Your Man.”

Liam reached over, grabbed my thigh, and pulled me closer to him. Liam was everything I’d ever wanted in a guy. Sweet, handsome, and athletic. But when he leaned in to kiss me, I didn’t feel that gut twisting pull at my insides.

The heat of his mouth didn’t taste like desire—it tasted like Coke.

My body purred, but it didn’t mewl as it had with Huxley, and that turned my entire plan upside down. I couldn’t date my stepbrother, could I?

While Liam worked his magic against my mouth, I felt my head begin to spin with possibilities.

I wanted my stepbrother more than I wanted Liam Hems.

And that was one problem that I didn’t know how to solve.

Liam left with intentions of us giving it a shot. Mrs. Shana and Dad were already in bed, so I climbed my stairs and went into my room, noticing Huxley’s light was off.

A laundry basket full of clothes sat on my floor to fold, but I didn’t even bother. I pulled the papers from my back pocket because it felt like one hundred pounds.

I hadn’t realized he turned in something different from my paper I wrote from him.

At the top, my name was printed in pretty feminine handwriting and beneath it was I love …

My hands began to shake while reading, so I took a deep breath, and started.

I Love …

By: Huxley Jacks I love her annoyance at me. The little ways she makes her Dad feel good. Her obedience and her kind heart. I love that she doesn’t overdo it with her look. You get what you see. I love that she can’t back down from a dare and that tickling her makes her laugh so hard she cries.

The way she pops her cherry tomatoes into her mouth at lunch. The feeling of her near me brightens my worst days. I love her optimistic views on life, and that she helps my mom with the dishes.

Her laugh that bubbles over into hysteria when you stare at her. I love that she can’t help but tell on herself. My grandmother always told me a guilty conscience would bring out the good in all people.

I love that she doesn’t care what every other girl in the school is wearing or who they are dating. She is herself no matter what day of the week.

I love everything about the one girl I can’t tell about my feelings. On one side of my love, there is always hate.

I hate her self-image.

I hate that she doesn’t realize I’m in love with her because I’m too afraid to talk.

I hate that my best friend gets to enjoy everything I can’t.

I hate myself for not being strong enough to tell her that I love her inside and out …

I couldn’t finish it. The paper fluttered to the floor. This wasn’t a story; this was a love note to me. I began to sob as I did when I watched A Walk to Remember with Mrs. Shana a few years back.

My heart felt torn between doing what it wanted and what was right. He’d just tossed me underneath the bus in front of the entire cafeteria and I wanted him.

Huxley wasn’t a mean person, he was confused, and hurt like I felt. But I couldn’t do this right now. I grabbed my headphones and shoved them into my ears, letting my music try to bring my heart back to life.

***

The next couple of weeks at school sent me on a roller coaster. I hid most of the day behind my books, and locker door, hoping I didn’t get a slushie to the face like on Glee.

My days mostly consisted of stares and whispers during class. A few girls wrote nasty letters and left them in my locker, but I didn’t read any after the third one. I didn’t have intimidating muscles to ward off the hellions, but I did have Ledela. She was so crazy that no one wanted to take a risk while she was around. She may do some kick twirl move and knock them out, who knew?

No one was mean when Liam was around either, out of fear mostly, but I didn’t mind it. The first week I had Post-It notes taped to my locker with Bitch and Cock-Blocker on the front.

When Liam caught the culprit, he jacked them up, and threatened to beat the hell out of them if they did it again.

Once the website settled down, and homecoming week came, I knew most of the kids were too excited to remember me. Which was how I liked it.

After Mrs. Shana came out of her depression about Huxley getting into so many fights, she offered to take me to get a dress for homecoming. I wasn’t too keen on dresses, but figured I needed to dress the part.

We invited Ledela along since her mother’s job called her in the weekend before the dance.

Dress shopping in Dallas was easier than I ever imagined. We stopped by Whatchamacallitt Boutique first. Ledela went crazy with dresses for me. “You have such a cute shape, you need a two-piece, high waist skirt and a crop top.

“Calm down, Shopaholic, one at a time.”

She pilled three on top of me, while I walked into the small room. “So, Ledela, who are you going to the dance with?” Mrs. Shana asked from outside on the couch.

“His name is Caleb Jones, he’s on the football team. Everybody calls him Jones.”

Ledela danced after Jones asked her to the dance during lunch. After he said, he appreciated her dance moves and calling Jamieson out, she was a goner. Anything that proved she was better than Jamieson.

“Fun, y’all can go eat beforehand if you want,” Mrs. Shana called out. “Do a double-date.”

Ledela squealed. “I’ve never been able to do that with Adler before. This is all my dreams coming true.”

I rolled my eyes in the dressing room, pulling up the skirt to this two-piece monstrosity, and slipping the top down. The bottom of the light blue top touched the top of my skirt.

I twirled, unexpectedly loving the way it fluttered. Dark blue sequences gathered around the hem of both of the garments.

“Adler! Come out and see Ledela’s dress.”

I tucked my hair behind my ears, opening the door to see Ledela standing in a short silver dress, with a neckline that ended just above the dress code, because it wouldn’t be Ledela if it didn't.

Her brown eyes grew huge. “Adler Ray if you don’t buy that I will kill you and hang you out to dry.”

“You like it?” I asked Mrs. Shana.

Her smile widened from one ear to the other. “You look beautiful!”

“Ledela do you like yours?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “We’ll be here a while. You buy that one and help me pick out more to try on.”

Mrs. Shana gave me a worried look. “Does she have a curfew tonight, because I don’t see us getting out soon?”

I chuckled. “I’m going to change. Is the price okay?” I asked

She waved me off. “I’m under strict orders to give baby girl what she wants tonight.”

I laughed.

“We’ll pick out some shoes after you change.”

I stripped out of my dress and into my street clothes. Shana grabbed my dress and took it to the sales clerk to hold for us while we looked for shoes.

“I don’t want anything too high. I’ll fall and break my neck.”

We scanned the shoes in silence for a while. They were mostly high heels or wedges. I’d had too many embarrassing moments this year, I didn’t need to add any risks of falling at prom.

“Who is Huxley going with?” I asked after a few minutes.

Mrs. Shana frowned. “No one. He said he doesn't want to go at all.” She turned to face me, her eyes begging for answers. “Has he spoken to you?”

I grabbed a pair of sparkly converse with blue and silver to examine them. “Not at all.”

“Is there something you both aren’t telling us?”

I wanted to tell her, but I didn’t feel like it was my job to do it. My own feelings were scattered, so it wasn’t my job to tell Mrs. Shana about Huxley’s. “No ma’am,” I lied.

It was easier than it ever had been.

Maybe because I’d been lying to myself for so long.

***

The week leading up to homecoming was called spirit week, where we had different themes every day, and an excuse to dress ridiculous. I opted out of most of them but took Liam up on his offer to be Beavis and Butthead on character day.

The Friday morning of Homecoming came quickly, I grabbed my towel and clothes for the shower, and ignored Huxley’s door.

It’d become so easy to do lately.

Even with his light turned off before nine on the weekends, and I knew he was pissed, I didn’t stop to check on him.

It’d been uncomfortable at first, but Huxley knew my schedule enough, to know how to dodge me.

I showered in a hurry, dressing in my favorite jeans, and pulled out Liam’s practice jersey. It was the thing to do on homecoming. The football player’s girlfriends wore their practice jersey to support them.

It felt foreign slipping into the over-sized jersey and staring at the big number eleven. I tied it at my hip because it hit my knees, and I sighed deeply. I liked Liam, a lot. We’d been out several times over the past month, and he took his time with me.

Those kisses still didn’t make my knees weak.

I traced the number six with my finger into the fog on the bathroom mirror. That was the number I wanted to wear today, but how could that happen?

We had too many unanswered questions, and bottled-up emotions, to get together with no backlash or a fight. I didn’t feel like fighting. I felt tired. I walked back to my room and noticed Huxley’s door cracked opened.

He’d dodged me again.

I continued to my room to blow dry my hair and saw something. A floor-length mum sat on the center of my bed. I walked over slowly, noticing the long blue and silver ribbons, and a huge poop emoji stuffy in the middle, surrounded by press on letters that read Adler and Montlake High.

I held it up, hearing little bells jingling, and pressed it against my chest, noting it hit my ankles instead of the floor.

My heart fell to the floor. He made me a mum.

Tears tumbled down my cheeks. I had to wear this today. I dug through my nightstand for a safety pin and pinned it to Liam’s jersey. I didn’t care if it was ironic to wear Liam jersey and Huxley’s mum. Huxley took the time to make this, and it deserved to be front and center. Like Huxley.