Chapter 32 The Name Change

Chapter 32 The Name Change
Angela

It's been two days since Sergio brought my former foster father to the house. As much as I understand that he had good intentions, I am actually angry at him. I don't like being surprised, especially the kind of surprise he sprung on me. I made sure to inform him, I have also been showing him how I feel.

Every chance he gets, he apologizes. But it's not an apology I need. I need him to understand that what he did really hurt me. Good intentions or not, he was supposed to give me a warning or at least tell me a few days before so that I could prepare myself emotionally. He was supposed to give me time to come to terms that a past I'm trying to run from is about to hit me straight on the face.

I don't know how many times he's apologised. The very first man to offer me an apology that I didn't have to work for. I love how h3 considers my feelings. Every man I have come across has never taken my feelings into consideration or even serious. I had to take it all lying down. I was a child and also a girl. My choices were not mine and therefore my feelings not valid.

In the afternoon while I'm busy studying in Sergio's office with him being at work, I start to look up therapists for Jessica and I. I'm not so sure I would go see one but when Sergio left for work this morning he asked me again to consider seeing one. He also mentioned something about vetting the doctor to see if there are any skeletons hidden in her closet.

Funny that he mentioned that the therapist be a woman because he doesn't want to have to possibly fire every man who will be left with me during a session. I couldn't even answer at the blind jealousy because I was out of words. I wonder if he's noticed how jealous he gets around me.

After thirty minutes of looking through the internet for therapists, I find two. One Dr Blessings stays a bit further than us and I really just wanted someone close which is why Dr. Bailey seems like a better option, but I'm keeping an open mind.

When I woke up the second time after Sergio left today, I felt that maybe he was right. At this moment I have the advantage of actually seeing someone about my problems, one that I don't know how long I will have before it slips from my hands. And seeing as I'm studying towards the field, I might as well see how others do it.

I also want to give Jessica a chance. As young as she is, what she went through will forever stay with her and be the one thing that will always lead her in life, which is why I want a chance to shape and guide her in every step. I know it will always be at the back of her mind about what happened to her. If I could erase that part of her mind I would. But for now, but it's important to me that I get her the help I can while I'm able to.

I also know that Sergio wants what's best for her. But with him always at work, I know it's going to be my sole responsibility to make sure that she is ok. I'm hoping that he will also help when he can, and not only when it comes to money because he is our sole provider after all, I hope he will also be there emotionally for us both.

I'm sitting with Jessica at the dinner table, just the two of us having dinner. I'm contemplating on how to introduce to her the matter of her name change, because if I'm being honest I think it's a good idea. It's also good that she's still a child, she will grow into the name Sergio has suggested for her, or a name she wants.

"Do you like your name Jessica?" I ask her quietly while we're having desert.
"It's ok." She still doesn't talk much, which is normal seeing as we've only had her for a short while and she's not used to us, much like me.

"Ok. Well, if you were ever given a chance to change your name, would you do it?" I'm trying to read her body language because she's not looking at me but down at what she's eating.
"I don't know." She say. I saw it though, the little jolt in her body, I don't know what to interpret was though.
"Well, I think we should change your name." This time she looks up at me, putting her spoon down.

I want to test first of she has a name she wants to call herself before suggesting Sergio's name. I just want to see if maybe she has maybe wanted the change because that way it will be easy for her to get used to her change in name. I also don't want it to seem as if we're not giving her a choice.

"Why?" She asks me.
"Well, Sergio and I were hoping to adopt you as our daughter." I answer.
"Will I be allowed to call you mom?"
"Yes, if you want to. You can also call Sergio dad." I tell her.

She's quiet for a while, and I see she's thinking about it. But like Sergio, it's a bit hard to read her emotions. I guess it fits that he wants to adopt her.

""Ok. Then what will be my new name?" She picks up her spoon and begins eating again.
"Don't you have a name you'd like for us to call you, perhaps?" I ask her and she shakes her head no. "Well, Sergio and I were thinking that maybe we should change your name to Angelica, how does that sound?"

I figure if it's going to be believable then the name should be something close to mine. It also gives the illusion that Sergio loves his family. Everything starts with a name afterall.

"Ok. I guess my new name is Angelica then." She says in her tiny voice.
"Do you like it?" I ask her again just to be sure and she nods her head once.

I decide to drop the name topic for now. I will speak to her again tomorrow to see if she is still ok about it. I wonder how Sergio is going to react when I tell him I came up with a name on my own though, I hope he won't be too angry.

After we've finished our dinner, I take Angelica to her own bedroom and tuck her in bed after she's changed into her pyjamas then depart to my own one with Sergio. The bedroom is empty, which shouldn't surprise me because he wasn't at dinner. This will be the first time I go to bed alone ever since I started living here.