CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LENA

THE FINAL TALLY? Sixteen phone numbers for Ethan. Twenty-seven for me.

“You totally cheated.” Even as he said it, the spark in Ethan’s eyes betrayed him—he wasn’t mad. Just annoyed he hadn’t thought of the tactic first.

“There were no rules to break.” I tossed him a grin, riding high on the sweet satisfaction of victory.

We’d tallied up our wins before leaving the bar, and now we were strolling back from the Hazelburg metro stop.

Maybe it was the booze still humming through my bloodstream or the heat radiating off Ethan beside me, but I was sweating inside my coat—even though the early evening air had dipped into the low fifties. Still, I couldn’t be bothered to carry it, so I left it on.

“Why am I not surprised you found a loophole?” Ethan gestured toward my bag, where a clump of napkins scrawled with phone numbers peeked out. “You planning on actually calling any of those guys?”

“Possibly. Can't be worse than sifting through dating apps.” My smile faltered slightly as the memory of Todd flashed back. The audacity of that man—walking up to me like we were old friends. Then again, men never seemed to run low on confidence, no matter how misplaced.

“Hmph.”

That disgruntled little noise burrowed beneath my skin and sent a jolt straight to my chest. Was that… jealousy?

No. Couldn’t be. That would require Ethan actually liking me. Sure, we’d built a shaky sort of mutual respect lately, but that didn’t mean we were friends. I still felt the urge to wipe that smug smirk off his face on a regular basis.

“And you? Gonna call any of your admirers?” I asked, keeping my tone neutral.

“Maybe,” Ethan replied. “Haven’t decided.”

“Hmph.”

Damn it. The sound slipped out before I could catch it. Now I sounded jealous too.

“What’s been going on with you, anyway?” I blurted, hoping to redirect the conversation and hide my slip. “You used to have a new girl on your arm every week. Lately, it's like you've gone into hibernation.”

“You’re exaggerating,” he said with a snort. “And I didn’t ‘go through’ them. I always told them the truth from the start. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and they knew that.”

His eyes flicked toward me. “I think you get it.”

I did. When it came to relationships, Ethan and I were on the same page. Neither of us had ever cared for the idea of long-term attachments. There was too much to do, too many dreams to chase, and not enough time to waste being tethered to someone else.

Plus, I wasn’t exactly eager for a repeat of my only real relationship. That was a disaster I didn’t plan on revisiting.

“You want to go to law school?” Max’s nose wrinkled with disbelief. “Why?”

“I think I’d be good at it,” I replied, twisting the hem of my shirt around my finger.

The shirt was brand new—paid for with the allowance Alastair, my stepfather, gave me. After years of wearing secondhand scraps, I still couldn’t stop touching the fabric, as if making sure it was really mine. A designer label that cost more than my entire old food budget? Unreal.

“It pays well if I go corporate,” I added. “And I could actually help people—”

A loud laugh cut me off. "Oh, come on, Lena."

"What?" My brow creased with confusion and a touch of hurt.

"You're so cute." He gave me an indulgent smile, like I was a child who announced I would be running for president. But let's be real, babe, you don't want to be a lawyer."

1 twisted my shirt harder around my finger. "I'm serious."

"Then be serious." Max ran his hand over my shoulder and rubbed my arm soothingly before he squeezed my breast, his eyes taking on a familiar lusty gleam.

"You're way too hot to be stuck in some musty courtroom all day. You should be a model. Capitalize on that face and body. Not everyone is lucky enough to be born with your looks."

I forced a smile. Yes, I'd been blessed with above average looks, but I didn't feel lucky. Not when that was the only thing people saw when they looked at me, and not when my own mother viewed me as competition instead of family.

But maybe Max was right. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. What made me think I could be a lawyer? I did well in my classes, but there was a difference between getting a 4.0 at a small high school in Ohio and succeeding at a top-tier law school.

"Come on. Enough boring talk." Max's breath roughened as he popped open the buttons of my shirt. "I can think of something better we can do with our mouths..."

A sour taste filled my mouth. I'd been so young and naive. I wasn't the same person I'd been at seventeen, but sometimes, the whispers from my past reasserted themselves, making me question everything I'd achieved and strived for.

Max's recent texts didn't help, either. He was like the ex that wouldn't die. Figuratively, not literally.

The alcohol-induced buzz in my head grew louder. Maybe I should call him to see what he wanted. Then I could put him behind me once and-

"Lena!"

Ethan's panicked shout pierced my ear at the same time squealing tires screeched through the night. I lifted my head, my eyes widening at the sight of headlights barreling toward me.

I'd been so caught up in my thoughts I'd wandered into the middle of the street without looking.

Move! my brain screamed, but my body wouldn't obey. I just stood there, frozen, until an iron grip closed around my arm and yanked me back onto the sidewalk a millisecond before a truck sped past, horn blaring.

Momentum took over and my face collided with Ethan's chest. It was like slamming into a brick wall. The force of the action, combined with the spike of adrenaline from my brush with death, robbed me of words and breath.

All I could do was stand there, face pressed against Ethan's torso, while he engulfed me in a tight embrace.

"Are you okay?" His heart thundered beneath my cheek. "I'm fine," I said hoarsely, too stunned to form a better response.

I raised my head and gulped when I saw his expression. Concern lined his brow, but his eyes blazed and a vein visibly pulsed in his temple.

"Good." His arms tightened around me until I lost my breath all over again. "Now what the hell were you thinking, walking out into the middle of the street like that?" His low voice vibrated with anger. "You almost got killed!"

"I..." I didn't have a good answer.

What was I supposed to say? I was too caught up in memories of my shitty ex to pay attention to where I was going?

I had a feeling that wouldn't fly.

God, if Max was the last person I thought of before I died, I would be pissed.

"I called your name twice and you didn't even react." The pale glow from the streetlights slashed across Ethan's face, throwing his razor-sharp cheekbones and the hard, chiseled line of his jaw into sharp relief. "What the fuck happened?"

"Nothing. I just got distracted." Technically true. Still, my stomach twisted at what would've happened had Ethan not been there.

"Thank you for saving me, though I'm surprised you did." I attempted to lighten the tension blanketing the air. "I thought you'd be more liable to push me into traffic than save me from it."

"That's not funny."

"It's kind of funny."

"Not. Funny," Ethan repeated. He bit out each word like it was a bitter pill. "Do you think death is funny? Do you think it's fun for me to watch someone almost die?"

My smile waned. "No," I said softly.

I had a feeling we weren't talking about me anymore.

As an ER doctor, he worked closer with life and death than anyone else I knew. I couldn't imagine the things he saw at the hospital, the calls he had to make and the people he couldn't save. But he was so sarcastic and light-hearted all the time I'd never thought about how it affected him.

Ethan released me and stepped back, his expression like granite.

"I'm walking you home," he said flatly. "Who knows what trouble you'll stumble into if I left you alone?"

We were only two blocks away, so I didn't bother protesting. I knew when to pick my battles.

We walked in silence to my house, which was dark when we arrived. Stella was probably still at the office or at an event. Between the magazine and her blog, she basically worked two jobs.

I stepped onto the porch and fished my keys out of my bag with a shaking hand. "You've delivered me home safe and sound. Five stars for service, two stars for conversation," I quipped, inserting the key into the lock. "I'd give you one star on the latter, but since you saved my life, I'm being generous."

Perhaps I should've been more serious, considering Ethan's mood, but when in doubt, I defaulted to sarcasm. I couldn't help it.

A muscle pulsed in his jaw. "Is everything a joke to you, or are you really that oblivious?" he demanded. "You got into Thayer Law, so I assume you have some awareness of the world around you. So stop with the fucking act, Red. It's a play no one wants to see."

My spine hardened into iron. I recognized that tone of voice. It was the same tone he'd used when he told Ava to stop being friends with me.

The same one he always used when he saw me doing something he considered a bad influence, like I wasn't good enough for him or his friends.

Sharp. Judgmental. Self-righteous.

An angry flush scalded my face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The front door clicked open while a hard, defensive note crept into my voice.

"It means you act all tough and unbothered when it's just that. An act." Ethan took a step toward me. A tiny one, just enough for the tips of his shoes to kiss mine. The point of contact acted as a channel for his anger, which funneled into me and stoked the embers of indignation burning in my stomach.

"I wouldn't care, except your recklessness doesn't affect just you. It also affects the people around you. But you never thought about that, did you?"

Dull red burned on his cheekbones. "You only think about yourself. I don't know what the fuck happened in your past, but it doesn't take a genius to figure you out. You're a scared little girl who chases highs to run from your demons, never caring about the destruction you leave in your wake. Classic fucking Lena Ambrose."

Deep, bone-rattling hurt stole the breath from my lungs and stung my eyes.

Any camaraderie Ethan and I developed over the past few weeks evaporated, incinerated into ash by the firestorm of emotions whipping around us.

It wasn't just about tonight, and it wasn't just about us. It was about the past seven years-every insult, every sneer, every argument and frustration in our lives, even if it had nothing to do with the other.

It all boiled over until a crimson haze passed before my eyes and the only thing I could focus on was how angry I was.

Instead of trying to calm down, I reveled in it.

Rage was a blessing. It shielded me from the sting of truth buried in his words, and it sharpened my voice to a lethal edge when I fired back.

“Oh, please. Look who’s talking.” I lifted my chin defiantly, locking eyes with his—dark, endless, and infuriatingly unreadable. “Ethan Hale, everyone's favorite prodigy. Mr. Adrenaline. You want to lecture me about chasing highs? Let’s talk about how you gamble with your life every time you dive headfirst into some dangerous stunt, even though you’re all Ava’s got left.”

My voice cracked like a whip. “Let’s talk about your damn pedestal. The one you strut around on because you’re a doctor, as if every risky decision you make is some kind of noble sacrifice for the so-called greater good.”

My hands clenched at my sides, nails carving half-moons into my palms. “You want to talk about holding on? You’re still chained to a betrayal that happened years ago. ‘He lied to me. He betrayed me,’” I said, mimicking his voice with bitter precision.

“Well, welcome to the real world. People lie. People screw you over. You pick yourself up, move on, and stop wallowing in self-pity. You think I’m hiding behind some act? I think you’re still clinging to that ancient grudge because deep down, you’ve got nothing else left to hold.”

It's the only thing keeping you alive, and you don't give a damn if it hurts the people you supposedly love."

It was a low blow to match a low blow until we were both in hell, caught in the culmination of years of animosity and words we would've never uttered to anyone except each other. Lies stripped away, truths uncovered only to be disguised as insults.

Part of me was disgusted. Another part sang with exhilaration.

In a world that expected politeness and praised restraint, there was nothing more freeing than finally

letting it all out. No holds barred. Fury carved savage lines into Ethan's face. "Fuck. You."

"You. Wish."

The white plumes of our breaths mingled in the cold. The air around us fell unnaturally still, like it was waiting with bated breath for our next move.

"I don't need to wish, Red." His voice turned dark. Smoky. It slithered past my defenses and kindled a heat in my lower belly that had both nothing and everything to do with my anger. "I could fuck your brains out right now. Make you take back every word you said and have you begging for more by the end of it."

It was a warning, not seduction. And it made the fire burn even hotter in my veins.

"You know what they say about men who talk a big game." Anticipation climbed up my spine at the danger swirling in the air. We were one step away from crossing a line we couldn't come back from, and I was riding high enough I didn't care. "They're overcompensating for the smallest packages."

A smile slashed across Ethan's face, vicious enough it introduced a seed of trepidation.

"Oh, Red. You're about to find out just how untrue that is," he said softly.

He moved so fast I didn't get the chance to draw another breath before he yanked me against him and crushed his mouth against mine.

And my world as I knew it shattered into a million pieces.