Chapter 18 TORN
Sianna's POV
My lower jaw trembled from my instant anxieties. I was left alone to deal with the repercussions of my actions after Vance stormed out of his own house. The mate bond burned in my chest like little cracks were being formed.
My eyes were empty at this moment since I cried so much last night. Despite the agony of being torn between these two guys, the deceitful tears steadfastly refuse to flow.
Because of me, Curtis was hospitalized. Because of my idiotic acts, he almost perished. He betrayed me, but he didn't deserve to be put in a life-threatening situation.
I lingered in the living room, where he had left me, inertly. I saw the real Alpha last night, having a homicidal tantrum. I feared him and thought he would hurt me as well.
Giving me the car as a gift implied to me that he believed he could dispel my emotions with things. I am not for sale, and it was not a peace offering.
Finally, I sauntered over to the couch and sat down, placing my elbows in my lap and my head in the palm of my hands. I was living through a nightmare. How was I going to look Curtis in the eyes without any remorse? I ought to make amends for the way Vance assaulted him.
After my mother learned that Curtis had been taken to the hospital, she interrogated me this morning. When I gave her the truth after she asked for an explanation, she scolded me.
So when my phone rang, and my dad was the caller identification, I knew he would pick up from where mom left off. "Pumpkin?" His voice was soft and empathic, "Where are you?"
This denoted that he and mom would have had their talk. His tone might have indicated that he was more concerned about me, than the need for his articulated disapproval about the turn of events.
"Vance asked me to take a file to him." I laid down in the couch with my left hand holding the phone to my ear, while my right hand rubbed my forehead as a soothing exercise. "We had an argument."
"I was expecting that." I could hear the horns of other vehicle on the road as he drove. He could be on his way to meet with a client. He gave a desperate sigh, "He's going to be in a foul mood. Thank goddess that I am not meeting him today."
Wow, here's another thing for me to feel guilty about. The subjugation of others to bear whatever Vance metered out to them while he is furious.
Putting our Alpha in a crotchety temperament would affect the entire pack, because he would be scowling at everyone, letting out his suffocating aura. The slightest mistake could be the last day of your life.
However, the conversation with my dad was making me feel better. Having someone understand my plight was good enough to lift my spirit, not to the maximum but to a point where I held some optimism to fix this.
"Dad, Vance told me to take some time to sort my feelings out."
There was the voice of the man in the background talking on the radio in his car. I waited for my dad to speak. "I see."
"See what?" I need to hear more than that.
"He doesn't mean that, pumpkin." Dad's impeccable judgment had gone through the window because his conclusion did not make sense.
Everything was black and white to me. Telling me to do one thing when you mean the opposite is chaotic. You absolutely cannot tell me that we are on a break when you expected me to behave on the contrary. I won't invest in something so contradicting.
"Sianna," only when he assumes a serious position does my father call me by my name. "Staying away from Alpha Vance will make him angrier. What he wants is for you to prove to him that he's your only man. It's nothing but a test."
Being discombobulated, an angry response came from me, "What is the point of testing me? If this is how he'll deal with our relationship issues, why should I stay with him?"
"There are challenges in every relationship. Your mom and I didn't have a smooth sailing either but we stuck together through each storm."
"Everything was easier with Curtis." Quick memories flash in my mind, "We understood each other. There were no dramas" "Things will happen, and that is what makes life beautiful, sad and hard." He was trying to make me understand the rationality of my circumstances. "Alpha Vance did nothing wrong."
My voice was breaking at the threat of crying. "Dad, he almost killed Curtis!"
"Almost," He emphasized in his lawyer tone, "But he did not. Curtis is alive and this is a situation where you have to take control and have these men understand your choice. Only one of them can have you, and you allowed the Alpha to claim you. It wasn't forced."
"Technically, I wasn't thinking straight." I argued.
"Sianna, this is not how we raised you." He chided, "For every action, there is an equal reaction."
"Dad, don't bring Newton into this. I hated physics enough." I drawled.
"You loved Curtis but he was disloyal, and now you are developing feelings for Alpha Vance," he told me. "Don't push the wrong person away."
"I'm doomed." Yep, I might as well lock my legs forever and seal my heart away in an internal prison.
"No pumpkin," he chuckled, "Break things off with Curtis if you are done with him. Don't prolong ending the relationship."
"I can't do anything about Curtis until he recovers," my hands are tied.
"That's not good enough because you need to stay away from him," he pointed out. "But if you decide to forgive Curtis, then both of you have to face the consequences of dealing with an irate Alpha who might make your lives a living hell."
"Maybe I'll stay single and be celibate." I joked.
"Hell no!" He laughed, "How would I get grandpups?"
"I could adopt."
"It's hard to be a single mother," he said. "I want my only daughter to be happy."
"I promise to find a way to live happily and give you grandpups." I placed my right hand across my chest as I made the vowed. "Don't make your mom worry too much over this." He said lastly, "Be good and communication is crucial. Talk to Vance and Curtis, and finalize who you will settle down with."
"I will, dad." The call ended and I realized the magnitude of my hunger. I missed breakfast and work.
Also, Tara will have my head for my no show at the cafe. I sent her a quick text to let her know I had an emergency.
I rose from the couch and entered the kitchen. I looked in every cupboard for potential food sources. When I later found pulled pork in the refrigerator, I made the decision to prepare a delicious sandwich with mayonnaise, sliced tomatoes, and lettuce. My thoughts strayed, and I nearly cut one of my fingers on the razor-sharp knife. Damn!
When Curtis learns that I slept with his Alpha while he was away, he'll be torn. Nonetheless, it was too late for regrets, but I should have waited to talk with Curtis about why he lied to me and was kissing some other woman before I got in bed with my mate.
'Mate. Choose mate,' my wolf echoed.
On the other hand, I ought not to have allowed the Alpha to mark me without properly assessing whether I genuinely desire this bond. My emotions are conflicting, and my mind is all over the place. I took a sharp intake of breath.
What am I going to do with my life?V