Chapter 41 TORN ALLEGIANCES
Asher's POV:
I’d been in this exact position for hours, resting on Maera’s thigh, her hands moving slowly over my head, patting me as if that could somehow erase the storm inside me.
I didn’t even know how much time had passed, didn’t notice the hours that had slipped by, or fully registered my surroundings.
All I knew was that I had been silent ever since Dylan walked through that door, his face carrying that broken, hollow look - like someone had ripped pieces of him away and left him raw.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d felt this heavy, this burdened with guilt and regret.
My mind kept replaying that moment over and over, the words I’d said, the anger that had escaped me without thinking.
I wanted - needed - to call him, to apologize, even though I wasn’t the kind of person who begged or bent like that for anyone.
But this… this was about Dylan. My Beta. My best friend. My confidant. My brother.
I hadn’t meant what I said. None of it. It had come out of pure rage, reckless and blind, and now the damage had been done.
It hurt even more knowing how loyal he had always been, standing by me through every storm, every fight, every mistake I’d made.
And yet, here I was, the one who should’ve protected him from hurt, the one who had sworn - years ago, when we were kids - that I’d always have his back.
I remembered the countless times I had fought for him, fought off anyone who dared make him feel small, anyone who tried to push him down.
I had promised him then, with my fists and my words, that blood didn’t matter - that we were brothers no matter what.
And now… now it felt like I had thrown all of that away. Like I had become the same kind of person I had always despised, the kind of person who left the people he loved hurting and broken.
And the worst part? I knew he didn’t deserve any of it. Not a single word. Not a single ounce of the pain I’d put on him.
And just then, a sharp pain shot through my ear, and a loud “Ouch!” escaped my lips before I even realized it.
Maera had twisted my ear.
And must I forget - her grip was unyielding, firm as steel.
I yanked my head off her thigh and looked at her, and there she was, lips pressed into a thin line, glaring at me.
I swallowed hard and quickly looked away, feeling the weight of her stare even from the corner of my eyes.
Finally, she spoke.
“You want to know what your father’s last words were before he passed?”
I turned my gaze toward her, and she was staring into the distance, far off, as if speaking to someone not there.
A soft, wistful smile tugged at her lips, as though she were holding onto some memory too precious to let go.
She continued, voice quiet but steady, almost trembling with the weight of it:
“‘Maera… take care of them. Both Kaelen and Jericho… Don’t ever let them drift apart, not even for a moment. Protect them, guide them… don’t let anything come in between them.’”
Her eyes flicked down at my bandaged hand, and she gently wrapped her fingers around it.
Her gaze lingered there before she spoke again, softer this time, tinged with vulnerability I rarely saw.
“I might not be your biological mother, Asher, but I think I matter to you and Dylan as much as you both matter to me.”
Her words hit me harder than I expected. Her eyes were glossy now, a faint sheen of tears threatening to spill.
I could feel her hurt as tangibly as my own guilt. This wasn’t like the grief she’d let slip when my father died - this was different. Raw. Personal.
She let out a shaky breath, her fingers still holding mine, and continued:
“I’ve never felt genuinely pained seeing you two at each other’s throats the way you were today… It felt like I had broken a promise.”
“The promise of a dying man who trusted me with his sons. And that’s why I… I need to know…”
She blinked back the tears that had pooled in her eyes, her voice cracking slightly.
“…I need to know what made you both fight like that today.”
I froze.
I didn’t know where to begin. I couldn't tell her the truth - it was because of a certain woman.
Not just any woman.
The woman who had caused the death of my father.
I swallowed hard and looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to even begin. My chest felt tight, and I could feel my throat constricting. I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment on her face.
She sighed softly, the sound gentle but loaded with understanding.
“Judging from the look on your face, Asher,” she said quietly, “It tells me that what caused this… isn’t something small. It’s major. Really major.”
Her gaze lingered on me, steady, piercing, like she could see straight into every corner of my soul.
“And I have to say…” she continued, voice trembling just slightly, “I’m also disappointed at the words that came out of your mouth today. You’re a Blackwood, Asher. The Blackwoods… we don’t have brawls with family. Not ever.”
“So why… why did you let your anger spill over like that? Why would you say those things to Dylan, like he didn’t have a heart? Like he meant nothing?”
I looked away, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat. I knew I had gone too far. My chest ached, guilt and shame coiling around me like a vice.
She let out a long breath and softened her tone, though the weight of her disappointment was still there.
“I just… I hope that, over time, you both can resolve whatever issues you have. And that it doesn’t happen again. Not like this. Not ever.”
I finally dared to glance at her, and she offered a small, gentle smile. It wasn’t scolding, not exactly - it was more like hope, a quiet belief that we could fix what had broken.
She leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Her touch lingered just long enough to burn the memory into me.
Then, with a smooth motion, she stood up, straightened her dress, and began walking toward the door.
“Maera…” I called out softly, my voice rough, still heavy with guilt and confusion.
She paused, turning slightly, “Yes, son?”
“I… I’ll tell you… eventually,” I said, the words careful, hesitant. “About… Why it all happened. Just… not today.”
She let out a small, knowing smile. “Of course, son. Take your time… as long as it doesn’t lead to something more brutal than today.”
I nodded, swallowing hard, feeling the weight of both her words and my own guilt.
She took a step toward the door, then turned to me one last time. Her voice softened, carrying a warmth I hadn’t realized I needed so badly tonight.
“Vera - lun mor Asher,” (Rest safe in the moons’ light)
I repeated the phrase softly, almost reverently, letting it sink into me.
“Vera - lun mor.”
She smiled one last time before closing the door behind her, leaving me alone in the quiet of the room.
I sank back onto the bed my mind racing, heart heavy. The room was still, but I could still feel the storm inside me, twisting and turning.
And I couldn’t help but wonder, for the first time in hours…
Would things ever be the same again between me and Dylan?